Lunchlady 2 Will Survive!

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Lunchlady 2

Lunchlady 2
Location
Central Valleyish, California,
Birthday
March 05
Title
School Food Service Manager
Bio
I am a real honest to goodness lunch lady and how I got here is another whole story but I have a husband who has some good days, 5 children 2 birthed ( 37 and 32) 3 step ( 21, 18, 16) I have raised since they were little and a brand new granddaughter. I also have two turtles, 3 dogs, two cats,some goldfish and a parrot. My house is crazy and busy and my life insane and soon my children will be grown and gone and I am trying to figure out what I am going to do then.

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OCTOBER 28, 2009 9:15AM

I'm Worried

Rate: 12 Flag

I have been prepping my boys since they were mere tykes to join the Navy when they grew up. Mostly because they never liked school much and because of that have always just got by.

My next to last son is 18 now and a senior and yesterday a recuiter drove all the way out to our house, and we are off the beaten path, and picked him up and took him to McDonalds and plyed him with food and talked of the marines....YES The freakin' Marines! He also gave him a "test" that he scored 67 on. Passing is 35!! What the fuck! I have told my son that I, as his mother, will go with him and I will tell this Gunny sargeant ( damn spell check) that this is my son and his mother says he will not join the marines and now he will only join the Navy if he gets to stay in the kitchen..yes I know it is not called that but I am typing fast and can't remember what the hell it is called... And that he is to be kept out of harms way!

I fear I have made a terrible mistake yes there are no jobs around here and yes he could then go to a culinary school and have insurance and then, then I got to wondering if we are at war because the government needs our young men to stand and die for the oil and if they make the world without jobs they will be assured of a steady supply of our youth.

Then I was sad and thoughtful and I am starting to think I may try to talk him out of going to war. I have a girlfriend and she lives back east on the coast and is a chef by trade and she has offered me to send him back in the summer and she will work him and teach him. She is coming out in Nov and we are going to Yosemite or somewhere fun and I am taking the time off work and I think I am going to talk to her before this goes any farther and see if I can change the course of my next to last sons life...

What would you do? I could not lose another son could not, would not, can not......................What would you do????

Quick update, I talked to my son last night and we read some of the responces offered up and he was bewildered at first. To him, to think that this grown man had out right lied to him stymied the crap out of him. As we talked he kept saying, but he said, and I would explain and he would say ,but he said, and I would explain. We have not made any committments to anything yet. He was told by this recuiter that works  with his high school he could be a cook in the marines! I explained the navy cooks for the marines as I was taught and he said but this recuiter works for the school. Like HOW come this adult is lying to me adults don't lie to kids.....

He knows to not always except what his dad says as the truth as an alcoholic he wanders alott in his mind but here is an adult an adult that he has been taught by me you respect and the man is lying to him.

My son has told me the recuiter wants to talk to his parents. I am going to take that talk and I am going to explain to this man, as nicely as I can, that my son was ready to commit to the navy and if he had let that be and not started lying to him then he may have had a body but that now I will be doing everything in my power to keep him away and out!!!

My son in amist all these talks questioned going away to Massachussets and not being around his friends as he says he is a friend kind of guy and I said honey are your friends going with you to the navy.....and then he said what about college and I said well you go work with my friend and she will pay you and let you stay with her and when you get back home you can get a job with a nice resume from her, go to college and work.....he said when will I sleep? I said well honey that is life both your sisters worked and went to school and that is just life.....

I will keep everyone posted where this goes......Thanks for all the truth and the help! PLEASE excuse the spelling as this stupid spell check at work just does not work and I can only respell something so many times before I say screw it!

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fear, aloneness, death, life, war, growing up to fast, children

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I am uniquely qualified to speak on this subject. The first cosmic truth is that if the Marines was such a good idea then recruiter would not drive out in the sticks and feed the suckers. A recruiter is the last person on earth to talk about glory and guts and duty. Talk to someone who's been in theater for a tour and ask them about it. Pay no attention to the test scores either. Truth is that every body does well on them save the truly stupid. I personally think that the Navy will be the safest bet. Have him read my Navy posts if you like. I'm not bad mouthing Marines either. They face some of the most difficult duty of any branch of the service. I just know from experience that a lot of young men have been fooled into signing up for a job that they really don't want. Get every promise in writing, and no matter how much they protest that it isn't necessary believe me it is.
bobbot
October 28, 2009 09:33 AM
I have had my son read all your Navy posts and they got him excited...no not in THAT way.... and he was looking forward to the future being in the navy now here this asshole is pushing. So if he signs he CAN get everything they are offering him to join THE NAVY in writing? Like a contract? I need to know everything I can to guide him the best I can and thank you bobbot for all your help. He LOVED your posts except for the anal probbing thing but even that we have talked about.
So can the mom go with to the recuiting office or is this something that should be left to the man my boy is trying to become?
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 09:42 AM
A recruiter is just that, a recruiter. They will do anything, say anything and promise anything to fill their quota. I, Like Bob, was in the military. With two wars going on, he would be better off picking up cans than to enlist right now. The war in Afghanistan is expected to last at least 10 years if Obama sends in the troops the General want. Once in, this recruiter would not even talk to your son. Stay away!
scanner
October 28, 2009 10:01 AM
Hugely difficult questions. My brother, as Marine-y as they get, didn't want his son joining the Marines. Although the kid did. I would think the Navy "safer." Is your son interested in food as a career? How serious is he about the option offered by your friend? Can he wait to talk to her before making a decision? After all, the Corps, or the Navy, for that matter, will still be there a few weeks down the road. What does he seem to want to do, and how certain is he of that?
AtHomePilgrim
October 28, 2009 10:09 AM
I so don't know, but am sending good thoughts your way . . .
Owl_Says_Who
October 28, 2009 10:35 AM
scanner ,thank you I am really considering talking him out of this and this may help.
athomepilgrim, he wants to be a chef, he loves to cook, and yes I think she was dead serious about him going back and staying with her and her teaching him. There is no hurry to sign up. He had just called to talk to them and they leached onto him.
My friend will be out on Nov 9-10 and we will talk, to him also I think and see what she can tell him. I am starting to think the navy may have been a good idea 15 years ago but now????
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 10:38 AM
I have very strong anti-military feelings. My father is a Vietnam vet who now hates the military, and I'm afraid that feeling filtered down to his children. My Spousal Unit comes from a Navy family, so we clash a lot. ;)

I have no words of wisdom for you LL, other than to repeat what bobbot and scanner said about recruiters. I'll be thinking of you and yours.
AshKW
October 28, 2009 11:15 AM
Bobbot has the right idea. Never go completely on the word of a recuiter. You know there is only one way you can tell if a recuiter is lying...his mouth is moving. No, your son needs to make his decision based on real information. Have him talk to someone who has been in battle with the Marines before he decides what to do.

Personally I am torn here. I spent over 13months serving as a combat medic with the Marines. I loved every one of them and I watched a lot of them die. Everyone praises the job they do and lauds them as being the best of the best but when it comes to one's own child, you rightfully want them nowhere near the Marines...that is natural. I can not say a word against them, but I also know what it takes to become a Marine and what it costs to do the job a Marine does...I would not want it for my son either. If, however, my son insisted upon doing it and he is of the age of consent, I could not stop him, but I would worry about him every moment he wore the uniform. Oh and the term you are looking for is: "Galley".
Torman
October 28, 2009 11:38 AM
owl, thank I will take your good thoughts. I can use them!!
AshKW thanks I have always thought no child of mine but times have changed and jobs are few and we are in that middle ground not enough to live on but to much for help so....
Torman, galley yep that's the word thanks! Also thanks for the help and I will take all this information and have my son read it. From how I feel on to everyones elses thoughts. Then we shall see.... I am not ready for this and crap how do they grow up so freakin fast!
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 12:02 PM
I want to thank you so much for being available to talk with your son about his life. You are doing a great parenting job. Two suggestions, first if he does go into the Marines, have him go for the helicopter wing. It's still very dangerous but not as bad as the ground pounders have it. Second, don't let him become a Navy medic as the Marines draft their medics out of the Navy. At least they did back in the Viet Nam days. The recruiters never tell anyone that. I'll keep you in my thoughts...
grandpa
October 28, 2009 01:24 PM
Being a mother is so hard. Loving them, wanting them to be healthy and happy, what's best for them. It's just so hard. Ultimately, he has to do what he believes he has to do. I know that's hard and it might be painful. But you're doing the right thing by talking to him - just listen to him, be there for him, encourage him. In the end though, whatever he does has to be his decision just like it had to be for us ... that's what growing up is.
From one mom to another, I send you my love and I wish you strength and peace.
Elisa aka WAH
October 28, 2009 01:41 PM
Your post was too wrenching to be glib about. I wish you and your son the best.
Jeff Brawer
October 28, 2009 01:47 PM
Hell no, don't let him go. Marines, Navy, Army, nadda. Send him to your friend's in the summer for the chef business.
TotallyAnonymous
October 28, 2009 02:21 PM
Has he ever thought about the Cost Guard? I have a young friend who went to culinary school , worked for awhile and then joined the CG as a chef. He is very happy and his crew LOVE him and his great food. Good luck. Being a Mother at this time is very difficult, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Bette Roloson
October 28, 2009 02:29 PM
OH dear Gawd. I am fiercely against enlistment. Only due to the fact that our military is NOT what I feel a military should look like. With that being said, I respect those that do enlist and serve for our great country. I've told all my OffSpring, if they even consider enlisting, I will shoot them in the foot. *jk, kinda* I know nothing about these organizations, but if he is looking for experiences and community service, there is always the Peace Corps. Or even the Coast Guard. If it's a matter of enlisting so he can get an education paid for, there has to be other ways. Even a Culinary class at a local community college. I don't know all of your background, so please excuse any offense this may cause. We all have differing and strong opinions regarding enlistment and our military. Wish the best for you and your son.
MindiTheMagnificent
October 28, 2009 02:54 PM
grandpa, first thank you for stopping by and then thanks also for your suggestions I am taking everything said and my son and I are going to talk about it. We have always been able to talk to my children it seems.
walkaway, thank you this being a mom stuff is a lot harder than it looked at 18. I hope without saying much I can sway his mind towards something else. Not sure what yet but we have a little time. Thanks!
jeff, thank you!
totallyanonymous, I am starting to think you right. Is it a coincidence that my freind just happens to be coming out this time of year?
bette, I will put a bug in his ear! I think him and I need to have a long talk..
Mindy, there dad was a navy man was our thinking but do I want this creative young man who can write and draw enlisting in a service that is not user friendly right now?
So many questions so little time!
Thank you all for your input it is greatly appreciated.
This is a young man who when he gets home from school still comes in my room to make sure I am there. His brother too. There mom walked out on them 14 years ago.....I hope I can help him to see other options. OR be able to support him if he doesn't.
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 03:51 PM
*hugs* to you. I hope you figure this out. And that your son, no matter what he choses, stays safe.
stephalupagous
October 28, 2009 04:22 PM
I don't kow from personal experience, but I think joining the military could be very helpful in jumpstarting your son's career. He will have everything he will possible need, for free. And, he will also get a paycheck and good benefits. Right now, there aren't any civilian jobs. The few jobs out there, are not recession proof. I have young cousins in Irag, and Afghanistan. I have many who are stateside, and my exhusband is also in Afghanistan. Some people are afraid to fly in an airplane because of the danger. Some people are afraid to join the military. I would not be.
tai
October 28, 2009 04:50 PM
stephalupagous, thank you for your kindness I hope he stays safe also!
tai, A different thought. Yes I know he will get paid and jobs are scarce especially here in the valley but I just don't know..... I am letting him read these when he gets home and we will talk.
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 05:13 PM
I feel like a hypocrite on this subject. I have the utmost gratitude and respect for our military but when it comes to my only child there is no way in hell I want him to enlist, especially while we are at war. I thank God it was never an issue with my son. It would have been really hard to let him go if that is what he chose. God bless you, hon. I can't answer your question but you are in my thoughts.
Kyle Dykman
October 28, 2009 06:19 PM
Kyle, thank you for your kind thoughts! We are talking and I have read him some of the posts here. We will see...
Lunchlady 2
October 28, 2009 07:30 PM
Good thoughts heading your way!! ~hug~

The friend deal sounds good to me, but I'm weary of any of the military recruiters especially nowadays.

Even back in my high school senior days, it was like, "You'll get to see exotic locations!!"

WOOOO!! :)
Tinkerertink69
October 28, 2009 09:02 PM
I've sat there with the Marine recruiter sitting at my kitchen table too. Then a couple of years past, then my son joined. He got through boot camp but got discharged at his next assignment. It has been a very long three years since he got home from that. He is finally getting back on his feet and in college doing well. But he somewhat regrets he didn't stay a marine. Not me. The last three years have been hard, but I am not sure he would have recovered from war at all. Whose to know?
poetTESS
October 29, 2009 06:58 AM
Tink, Thanks for the hugs and the truth!! Damn recuiters!
poetTESS, I will be reading your post to my son tonight. I hope your son recovers and finds his old self again soon. That is so sad and scares me so much.
Lunchlady 2
October 29, 2009 08:54 AM
I don't know if this post is too late, but I'd like help if I can. First off, please don't think that all Marine recruiters are bad, and the fact that he drove too your house is what he's supposed to do. Marines do have cooks, MOS 3381, you can look it up on google, I can even tell you the occupational code. This is my first time on this site, but I'm assuming that you can message someone. If you or your son have questions, please feel free to ask, and I know that I can answer them. And to respond to bobbot, a lot of Marine recruiters have been to theater, and I promise you that test scores matter a lot.
brandon2009
December 03, 2009 04:07 AM