My son went critical again last night, his fiance calling me from the hospital. His blood pressure was sky high and his fever climbing. He has yet another infection in his lungs.

She text me later and said his fever was down and he was breathing well.

So I slept.....

I just now called the hospital and talked to his nurse and she said they have put him on blood pressure medicine and of course tylenol and that is what has made him "stable".

She said very kindly and low he, in her mind, is getting worse, I thanked her for her honesty and hung up.

I have sat here for awhile at work and I guess it is just how my mind works but I started thinking worse? Really? He has 6 different IV's  attached through his body, a feeding tube in his nose and a breathing apparatus down his throat. Worse?

My sister is driving down today and I worry because she always seems to be the one that the "shit" happens too. She was there when they insisted gowns and masks be worn again. She was there when they had her help suction the yuck coming from his throat out. She seems to always get those days.

I am waiting to here more to leave work, my youngest daughter has volunteered to take the animals to the vet if I have to run and yelled at her brother, still home, to get off his lazy duff and help me.

This may be the end of our road or he may rally yet again. I have not given up, I still pray for that miracle but I won't let my son suffer any longer than he needs just for us.

You all ARE my lifeline, you keep me grounded when my world is falling apart and I thank each and everyone of you for that.

I will be back as I can, when I can, to update.