I would tell you that it was not placing the DNR on my husband that made me cry it was the memory it brought back of placing my beloved son on one.
I would have told you there has been no love for this man who abused me for a very long time.
I would have told you I cry for his children who will miss him, who loved him because I made it possible.
I would have told you that the only gift this man gave me was these three wonderful children who I offered to keep a long time ago and set him free but I think he always knew this day would come and I wouldn't fail him.
I would tell you I cry because I don't want to be here, I don't want to be this man's comfort as he could never be mine.
I would tell you I have had enough pain for a very long time and wonder if I will ever heal.
I would tell you I am tired and drained and don't know that my strength will hold for this one.
I would tell you that he is still a human being, a mother’s son and that is why I will stay by his side until the end, not for him, but for his children, for his humanity, for his mom, because I can do no less, even if I wanted to.
I would tell you all this if I only had the ability to speak without sobbing...