- March 05
- I am now a widow, having laid my last kiss on my husbands brow after he died to say goodbye. Since then I have found an old note he wrote me apologizing for his meanness laying on my floor and two gold coins under my blankets, his way of saying he was sorry and goodbye.
I have buried my ex husband, my baby son, my grown son, my mom and now my husband and I wish to bury no more, but life does not work that way.
I have birthed 3 children and have 3 more wonderful children from my last marriage. I have 4 living children and a granddaughter I adore and I am in the process of finding me. I have no idea who I am but I have discovered I am loved and I never knew that before and it makes me smile...
MY RECENT POSTS
- Just Another Dead Beat Dad?
December 06, 2013 08:38AM
November 30, 2013 08:19PM
November 13, 2013 08:44AM
- Poor Proud
November 07, 2013 08:30AM
October 28, 2013 08:54AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I don't know what to say
to this except for I agree and
makes me sad...”
- “I know I would like you
just fine the way you are and
- “Merry Christmas to you
too, however you spend
- “What an amazing Aunt you
have and the patience of a
listen and react
Lunchlady 2's Links
- MY LINKS
"Now it's dark and I'm alone, but I won't be afraid In My Room......"
Thank you all for being here to talk to, to keep me grounded and for your love. Just sad today and thinking to much
Finding my way in life today through music
They were lined up out the tent door. The word was he was a miracle worker. That he had real magic, hard magic. He could make people rich and powerful.
Of course only the richest could afford him. They would disappear behind his curtain and those waiting would hear words, words… Read full post »
I know I have been spilling my guts, so to speak, here of late.
I know many know my story, some are afraid for me, some are mad, not at me but for my life circumstances, some maybe are mad at me for not getting out. Some offer an I have… Read full post »
I have been posting to much the past few days and I promise to stop after this one. Cross my heart...
I had this great dinner planned, good homey food. I started the blackeyes....my husband said they would be OK if I add more salt and pepper.
My son peeled the… Read full post »
As we close another year my mind is on all those with addictions that keep them from living healthy, happy life's.
I wonder what happened, or that they have learned to imagine happening, in their childhood that makes them need so badly to escape.
What monstrous things, or not, have been… Read full post »
It started about 6 months ago. My sister kept telling me I needed to join this place where she wrote. I was like OK at some point I will take a look. I tried to find OS but couldn't so my sister being determined sent me a link.
I joined, jumped… Read full post »
I am in the boat and it seems far out to sea, actually past denial and into the wasteland.
We planted my mom's ashes yesterday with everyone in California in attendance. My daughter hooked a speaker up to her IPhone and played Grandma music, bagpipes and such. My brother… Read full post »
Now that we have made it through Christmas, and I know we have by the sound of Rock 'em Sock "em Robots coming from my boys room, it is time for New Years Resolutions right?
First let me say I am in a pretty poor mood. I went to the dentist… Read full post »
1973 I remember my beginnings, like they were yesterday.
As I was being born I noticed a young family , a couple with their small son, that kept coming to visit me. To stand on my bare cement and talk and laugh. So full of dreams and life. I watched that day… Read full post »
I think I was born with the ability to build walls. Walls that would keep the pain out. The pain of being laughed at. The pain of being different.
The pain of life.
I have used this talent to survive, the death of a young son. A horrible away from… Read full post »
She woke up with a start. Where was she? Her heart was racing and she was trying to remember, when she felt someone in bed with her. She sat bolt upright and he sat up with her. He was talking but she couldn't focus, she heard screaming and realized it was… Read full post »
I am so tired of making small talk. This is unlike me. I am a great listener and I really care about people and I am very sympathetic to all.
Maybe that I absorb others problems or worries or life and I just can't do that right now. I just… Read full post »
I have been a mom since I was 19 years old. I have never been anything else but a mom, it seems sometimes. I love my children dearly but I have been so busy being mom I am afraid I don't know how to talk to them. Just a quiet conversation… Read full post »
A special thank you for all the love and prayers, faith and hugs I have been the lucky recipient of so much of late.
I hope I give back as much love as I am shown
I woke up this morning to rain and wind and my first thought upon seeing the weather was I was glad I didn't have to go out in it. Then it came to me why I didn't need to go out in it and a sadness settled in.
Mom passed away… Read full post »
Do I dare tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Do I dare show the world a snapshot of my life that is being lived, I am sure, by many? Do I dare put in writing how fucked up my home life really is?
Do I… Read full post »
ME....."Why all the suffering and pain in the world?"
GOD...." It is how it must be"
GOD......" It is the world man has made"
GOD......"Because man took the easy way, the fast way"
GOD....." I offered a beautiful… Read full post »
Do you ever shut-up
Talk, talk, talk,
Nothing, nothing, nothing
Ramble, you, you, you
Do you see me
Do you hear me
Am I even here!
You say you need a warm place to stay
Then and you love me,
I just shut up,
Don’t… Read full post »
Let it go
It will come
Life is short,
Let it go Read full post »
It all started going down hill the day before Halloween, last year. Mom fell and broke her hip. There was surgery and she was fixed but gone. She was here but not. She could no longer leave the home or really cared much about doing so. At first she would… Read full post »
My sister called at 9:30 this morning. We knew it was close and we were worried that she would pass on Thanksgiving. But she waited and suzie said she took three breathes and went to sleep forever.
My daughter is here with my granddaughter so I slipped into the bathroom… Read full post »
I have discovered much in my stay here. I have discovered we are all still children, looking for love, acceptance and happiness. Maybe some of us don't know that, but I think it's true.
I have discovered that true love does happen. It is real and alive. I have also discovered… Read full post »
I was born 2nd of 5 children. 3 girls, 2 boys and the day my youngest brother was born was the day, as my mom always said, that mom divorced that no good son of a bitch. You can't blame her, his womanizing and needing to be something he would never be… Read full post »
My worst ever Thanksgiving was at my first husbands brothers house.
They raised those cats, who look like there little faces were smashed in. They had so many they were everywhere and so were the litter boxes.
Now add in the whole family were alcoholics and the house was kept at… Read full post »
What is love? I have not been very lucky in love, two husbands, no love, BUT from these unions I have 5 children who I love dearly. May I introduce to you The LOVE OF MY LIFE...Gracie
Here stinky face! She will be here with her mom, my daughter,… Read full post »