I try, I really do try. My bedroom closet has clothes in it that haven't seen light in decades. I have a blouse I made in high school and the material I bought must have been to make slipcovers for chairs as it is the ugliest orange and green color I… Read full post »

  Zach at 4 years old a month after I took him and his brother and sister in under my wings.

Family!

Ok! So I'll go in order of receiving letters. Daddy, yours made it in first. I have a question, your carrier was the USS RANGER right? Or am I wrong?… Read full post »

"Attitude is more important than the past,

than education, than money, than circumstances,

than what people do or say.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding

the attitude we will embrace for t… Read full post »

 Yesterday was the first visit to get radiated for the husband. He was nervous and grumpy and mean but apologetic just like always. 

As I was driving along, tuning him out, a memory came back to me clear as day and the scenery took on a surrealist feel and… Read full post »

Feb 27, 11

Dear Family,

You ask why our children are joining the military. You ask how we could let them go knowing what they may end up facing. I cannot answer for other families but I can answer for mine.

We have struggled since we have become a family. Never knowing if the bills will… Read full post »

At 8 this morning our house phone rang, I was still half asleep thought nothing of it and rolled over to get more sleep. The husband opens my door yelling pick up the phone which I do and it is my son from boot camp!

I was never so happy to… Read full post »

I came to work yesterday, Monday always tough but this one tougher as I had a big truck delivery coming in.

I go to the inside freezer to get it ready to accept so much product and it isn't working...WTF!

I just had it fixed and the guy who did it… Read full post »

The husband isn't even dead yet and his cousin has tried to take the guitar he has left at the local watering hole to play when he would go there home with him. The owner called us and asked if she should let it go and of course we said… Read full post »

 Lunchlady goes to work early to leave early to take the husband to the first of many oncology appointments. She calls many times "are you in the shower" "you up" finally assuming he is up and getting ready only to rush home to find him sound asleep on the day… Read full post »

 This is how I feel now when I come here. Raw and naked for all to see.

 I have posted my life, my fears, my family life.

I think sometimes to delete me, to disappear forever, and wonder if anyone would really miss me.

Then I think about those… Read full post »

  There was a man and he was brilliant but a drunk so his brilliance was dimmed with each passing day.

One day he got hurt and from that moment on saw himself as disabled. He used his disability as an excuse to lie around and do nothing but bitch.

He took it… Read full post »

I want you,

to kiss my neck,

down around my breasts,

back up to my lips,

kiss me,

wide open mouth,

tongues lashing it out,

down my neck,

slowly unbuttoning

 tasting, teasing, touching,

until my head falls back,

mouth open, urging you on,

further down, down,

 pulling you back… Read full post »

  I was supposed to take tomorrow off to drive my son to the hotel he will be staying at over night and then he was leaving the following morning for boot camp in Illinois.

ONLY it turned out he had it wrong so when he checked in this morning with his… Read full post »

They had kept it from the people of the world as long as they could. The asteroid would hit Earth in 60 days and no one knew exactly the damage that it would cause.

The rich and powerful had known this was coming for years and had planned accordingly.… Read full post »

 I have been gone for awhile. I have been trying to read when I could find the time but life has been weird lately. 

I knew I had been way tired of late, just sleeping all the time and figured I was just worn out from stress. I finally broke down and… Read full post »

My fatal flaws are many and I fight them all the time.

I was born with the ability to read people, their feelings, if they are lying, telling the truth or speaking others words through their mouths. Sometimes it is so obvious I find that I judge them on what I… Read full post »

I have been living within my own guilt for 30 plus years now. As I walk myself through life, at this point and time, I am starting to realize I need to face my demons and let them go one by one by one.

As hard as this… Read full post »

I settled in with you knowing we had music in common and I loved that you had custody of your children and even though you were so damn proud of telling everyone you were an alcoholic I moved you all 4 into my home. 

I tried planning a day trip to… Read full post »

I have been on a crusade of sorts and against  my jobs wishes I have discreetly caught and had fixed a total of 14 cats and kittens. Finding homes for 10 of them and letting the other 4 loose but unable to have or create babies ever again. It has cost… Read full post »

I  have been thinking about  what I see, need, in my world. I see beauty in a sunset, in a sunrise. I see beauty in an unexpected bird soaring over my head, a butterfly gliding across my vision. I  need to know I can pay my bills and sometimes  even h… Read full post »

 I know it seems I have not been around much lately but really I have been, reading just not commenting.

I am so into finding my way right now I am having a hard time coming up with comments. I read and empathize, laugh, cry and love sharing your life, your… Read full post »

I know people are frustrated by my inability to escape this spider web of  life I am caught in.

If I had somewhere to go, if I didn't owe more on my house than it is worth, if I wasn't going to be free to retire by staying here in 5… Read full post »

My first Christmas memory is .....vague, animal heads, Santa, presents, I think we were at our rich Aunts one year and one year only.  

I think Santa Claus should..... come out of hiding and let people know he's real, that magic does exist.

If I could play with one toy from… Read full post »

 As I peek through your window

 see your beautiful tree

I believe your world is perfect

you have enough food

your children have clothes

you have jobs

I want to believe your tree stands for your life

maybe it does

maybe even without enough

you laugh

you love

you live… Read full post »