It's Official - In Canada, Doughnuts trump Diplomacy
The UN Vs. Tim Horton's ... no contest in Canada. Photo: The National Post
Homer Simpson would be proud. On a day when many world leaders were showing up to the UN in New York with the express intent of walking out on the speech of Iran's Ahmadinejad, the Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, chose doughnuts over diplomatic statements.
It was, arguably, a big day for Canadian symbols. After years of being American owned, Tim Horton's announced yesterday it was returning it's corporate headquarters to Canada. If America is all about baseball and apple pie, then Canada is, without doubt, a Tim Horton's double-double* at an early morning hockey practice, so the return of the company to Canadian soil is a welcome development for many Canadians. Given that it is named for it's founder, legendary Toronto Maple Leaf defenceman Tim Horton, it was always a poor fit in a country that, generally, doesn't know a one-timer from a high-sticking call.
And so, our elected leader chose to celebrate sugared dough and diesel fuel disguised as coffee, sending one of his diplomatic minions to officially walk out on the Iranian Prime Minister. To the rest of the world, it may seem a questionable decision, but to Canadians, it makes perfect sense. With rumours of an election in the winds, over the next 6 months millions of Canadians will buy millions of double-doubles to sip bleary-eyed while they watch their little ones stumble around on the ice at 5:30 AM. And then they'll do it again, later the same day, when they take the older ones out to their 11:30 PM ice time practice, patiently watching and sipping their Tim's.
Canadian PM Stephen Harper sip's his Tim's in a photo op. Photo: The Star
If YOU were the Canadian PM, facing confidence votes in the parliament, polls that don't show the support you need, and opposition parties nipping at your heels from all directions, what would YOU rather do? Go to New York and make a show of officially walking out on another world leader, or spend the day in a Canadian institution, smiling as you are photographed sipping from your Tim's cup (label out of course)? Make mine a double-double, and a maple-glazed please.
* a double-double is a coffee order at Tim Horton's, common in Canada. It means "Give me a coffee, with double cream and double sugar" ... and the fact that the most popular way to drink Tim Horton's coffee is as a double-double is nice evidence of a "diesal fuel" line I used above.
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Comments
The U.S. hockey dad equivalent is Dunkin' Donuts large in the styrofoam cup, and "regular" means cream and sugar. Don't say "regular" when you mean medium-sized. And Dunkin' Donuts sells a donut that's called a Dunkin' Donut (with a little dough handle) which can lead to some confusing exchanges:
CUSTOMER: I'll have a Dunkin' Donut.
NEW NON-US COUNTER HELP: You're in Dunkin' Donuts--you want a franchise?
CUSTOMER: No, just the donut.
NNUSCH: What kind?
CUSTOMER: Dunkin'.
NNUSCH: Okay, let's start from the beginning.
Thumbs up--Donuts unite the world!
However here is one thing I do not understand. How can Dunkin Donuts advertise their coffee (and sell bags of it in the supermarkets) with a straight face? I mean it's not horrific, unlike some places, but it's seriously ordinary.
Meanwhile when is somebody going to write about this roll up the rim scam. I consumed countless quarts of diesel fuel and probably gained about fifteen pounds last year and all I won was one coffee. The year before, nothing! No even a f-ing timbit.
As for their donuts -- they should only be fed to Canada geese, in those areas where they are overpopulated and are a menace to beaches. Or to Canadian politicians such as Harper and Ignatieff.
Juliet: Realistically, not much chance of that from Ahm, really, is there?
Bart: Agreed ... the "diesel fuel" line was a low blow. It's a constant that Canadians can expect from coast to coast :).
Cat: Wizard of Oz ... LMFAO ... "Please, pay NO attention to the man behind the curtain ..." Duceppe is missing in your little play ... Dorothy perhaps?
Actually, many other nations walked out on that asshole. Look at the videos, most of the seats are empty.
Btw, just so people here know, we used to refer to Conservatives--members of the Progressive Conservative party--as Tories (an English term). The PCs are no more; this is the Conservative party, period (that's its official name now), and Harper and his Little Shits (as the late lamented Frank Magazine used to term them--former Ontario Premier Mike Harris's old gang of goons) are American Republican wannabes.
But this is _still_ about the greatest country on earth to live in, IMHO. I wonder how long 'till they dismantle it . . . .