People who look into & critize sexwork, without knowing the full facts & a balanced sexual self, are estimations & discriminations in the eyes of viewers, judges, and naives!
Granted when you look at the big area of prostitution, you cannot fail to see the pain and the suffering that can come in this underworld of stigma and poverty.
In any profession there is a degree of pain and suffering, some more apparent than others.
When we watch famous actors/actresses on the silver screen, we watch the illusion of success. The few we have elected for reverement hid the mass of strugglers; who`s lives are lonely, humiliating and hanging onto the thread of hope.
This is a fact of life, nomatter how impalitable it appears to others.
It is survival, the struggle for another meal, acknowledgement and purpose.
Thus prostitution is so affected.
The difference being is that prostitution has been `tainted`, `stigmatized` by religion, politics and morals.
The action of historical stigmatization is a major contribution to the isolation and fear of prostitutes. The male fear of feminine power.
Humanity is the collectivity of human beings. Whether you agree to the existence of prostitution is irrelevant. They, I, have always been here and always will. We have a right to our position in society as any other human being. Whether you understand that human being is a matter that is your personal journey, not theirs. The rest is moral judgement, prejudice & intolerance of others.
Prostitution is an `honest` relationship. It does not hid behind `small print` that can be a part of most other relationships between man and woman.
`Every` relationship is based on `need` whether we accept this or not. There is a human condition in our need for survival.
To assume and attach disease and `lack` in the motherhood department of femal prostitutes adds to existing `fear of contamination`, dumped on the doorstep of prostitution.
There are more STD`s and abortions amongst non-prostitutes. Though surveys are never done to support or favour prostitution. There is a fear in protecting our mothers, daughters and wives. Its a form of control and an assumption that women cannot be controllers of their own sexuality. That they can have `informed and free choice`, in their sexual adventures or preferences.
Sex is the action of procreation or gratifacation. It is an inevitable trait of all life.
Love is the bonding and nurturing of emotions that can surround any relationship we choose.
One can and does exist without the other. Occasionally they come together. Something most of us work towards or aspire to.
Though lets not confuse them!
Nobody is `cut out` for any profession. We find our course with what tools we have in life, gain experiences and utilize them in order to survive.
Some can get social acknowledgement and respect in doing so.
Not so, prostitutes!
Attitudes and fears keep them from the safety and social embrace others experience.
prostitutes are the social outlaws of humanity.
Society turns its back because it cannot control the images we so revere in our vision of what woman `should` represent.
Society is heartless and unintelligent in your condemnation of women who are professional prostitutes?
At least the clients show their token of respect and value in acknowledging the worth of the lesson.
Much as people leave their `tokens` or payment for other help, beit at church, or in any other profession that helps or advises.
So prostitutes are honoured for the time & energy that is offered as a service.
Until societies & the institutions within accept their own personal responsiblity both for their emotions & their sexual self, prostitution will remain on the outskirts of what is seen as socially acceptable.
Not until then can we begin to see the wood for the trees. When the value & embracement of the true value of prostitution is acknowledged, then you will see where the abusers & the true criminals stand! Until then they hid in the woods of an underworld retreat, save in the knowledge of the blindness of humanity, hidden by the stigma`s that we have created like rocks that shackle us to our very selves.
Western cultures could learn a lot from other eastern philosophies. At least there is a mutable feminine principle, rather than just the fixed erect masculine projection of westernised religions. They at least go some way into accepting the mascline/feminine counterparts we all hold within our own self. An unbalanced society is reflected in the way we treat prostitutes & prostitution. These are outlaws of society, flung to the far hidden corners of our shame, the refuse-tip of humanity, who absorb the excess semen, the anger & fear, the shame & revenge, the waste of mortals!
We now are attempting to be responsible for our refuse, consumption & squanderings. So should we be looking to the hidden dregs we dispose of at the prostitutes doorstep.
To have a better idea of the sex industry itself, we need to get a better idea of our own sexual emotions. Acceptance of what & who we truly are allows us to understand & absorb in toleration the lives of others. In this understanding comes recognition, belief & trust. With this comes wisedom & a sense of freedom in our embracement of parts of ourselves, which have previous;y been hidden.
That way & only that way can be the road to true human harmony.
Until then we are in danger of destroying ourselves, our future children/generations & the world we live in, with all its beauty & blessings!
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
david henry sterry
dicea
Alan Nothnagle
Sharon Kay
Pretty Lady
Kari van der Clouet
Salon.com
Comments
"There are more STD`s and abortions amongst non-prostitutes. Though surveys are never done to support or favour prostitution. "
That's pretty counter-intuitive right there. I'd buy that about high end call girls and legal brothels in NV, but an overallaverage, including heroin/crack addicted streetwalkers and cornergirls? The statistics I've seen from the CDC: (on their website)
“Sex workers have elevated rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV.One study of female, male and transgender sex workers in San Francisco, CA, reported high rates of gonorrhoea (12.4%), chlamydia (6.8%), syphilis (1.8%) and herpes (34.3%). In one study of drug-using female sex workers in Miami, FL, 22.4% of
the women tested HIV+. In a study of male sex workers in Houston, TX, 26% reported
testing HIV+”
Another thing: If studies are “never done”, where are you getting YOUR numbers? I found that the UCSF AIDS Research institute has many studies cataloged. Here are the top 5.
1. Rekart ML. Sex-work harm
reduction. The Lancet. 2005:366:
2123-2134.
2. Vanwesenbeeck I. Another
decade of social scientific work on
sex work: a review of research 1990-
2000. Annual Review of Sexuality
Research. 2001;12:242-289.
3. Inciardi JA, Surratt HL, Kurtz SP.
HIV, HBV, and HCV infections among
drug-involved, inner-city, street sex
workers in Miami, Florida. AIDS and
Behavior. 2006;10:139-147.
4. Timpson SC, Ross MW, Williams
ML, et al. Characteristics, drug use,
and sex partners of a sample of
male sex workers. The American
Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse.
2007;33: 63-69.
5. Alexander P. Sex work and
health: A question of safety in the
workplace. Journal of the American
Medical Women’s Association.
1998;53: 77-82.
prostitutes are not just female, so fear of the feminine doesn't always apply
until sexworkers have degrees in psychology or social work, a semblance of professionalism, (eg, regulations), what they do will never have value - it's no different than dancing - anyone can do it, not everyone can call themselves professional
sex may be an act of procreation, but what does it mean when you don't procreate or even bother to nurture what was begot? and it is more likely that the gratification angle is in place so that the species will procreate and bond so that they will insure the species. I see sexwork as going against evolution - it promotes individuality instead of community
just because sex is traded for money does not make it an ""honest" relationship" I pay someone to fix my car, doesn't mean honesty is about to take place or that there is a relationship
Statistics are not to be trusted..they only give what they want to show. Most stastics are pulled because justifaction or funding is needed.
So you can throw statistics at every corner, but they don`t give the full picture.
The whole taste of this post was to show the collective responsibilty..rather than focus on numbers of std`s, abuse, or drug related issues....your looking trees again & not seeing the wood.lol
I disagree..there is always a payment for sex, based on needs!
The only way for sexual freedom is sexual honour or respect..with that comes freedom.
>
All sexworkers have experience (& degrees are based on socially acceptable units) in sex. Some you may be surprised to know do have degrees in psychology, but the true value is never truly known because the values are not socially accepted.
>
Why do you see it as promoting individuality?..the community of sexworkers is as valid as any other social community.
>
Its honest insomuch..it is a contract of time & the practises within. Rather than the illusion at times that people have when having sex with others & all its emotional needs, expectations & demands.
Okay ladies, a show of hands, who has made a man take her to dinner and a movie before she would go to bed with him? I'm not going to hold my breath until I see a post here or an email saying you did it, but we know you do.
So after a woman playing hard to get, all the time knowing she will end up doing you, getting taken to dinner, movies etc where is the man? He is still guessing on what he is going to get. Women are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get until you get them in bed. You don't do this, I have to do that and you may not be good at what I want, if I ever get it.
To pull the wallet out and say here is what I want, while saving time, is more cost effective. You know you are going to get the services you want. More important, she will leave when you are done. No "I'll call you" lies.
Legal prostitution still calls for regulation and legislating protections for producers (prostitutes) and consumers (clients). It also calls for the effective abolition of the sex slave-trade, which is very real, very violent, and indicative of international economic breakdown, such as we are going through right now.
Don't get me wrong. There are times I like the tease and tickle and playing the head game. Sometimes I just want to get laid.
Got to love women.
"It also calls for the effective abolition of the sex slave-trade, which is very real, very violent, and indicative of international economic breakdown, such as we are going through right now."
IMHO, if the government hadn't driven it underground all the controls you want would be in place, see NV, and the vast majority of the problems would be gone. While you can never get rid of all the problems, which is a universal truth, wouldn't you want to get rid of 90% of them?
Finally, we can't pretend that legalized sex trade will, in and of itself, abolish sex slavery. There's just too much profit in it. I heard a statistic (since Lynne brings up stats) on NPR the other day that sexual slavery accounts for only 4% of all slavery that still goes on world-wide, but generates 40% of slavery's profits to the owners/slavers.
Since we can only make laws that deal with what happens in this country, let's deal with what happens here. You can't group everybody in the world together.
And yes, we need laws that fit our legalization needs.
Your assumption that *all* women expect some kind of payment for sex is insulting and offensive. I am quite capable of paying for my own meal and entertainment. Sex in my world is an eequal, beautiful thing shared by two consenting adults.
I have no problem with prostitutes at all as long as they are not being expolited. It's an industry that needs to be better regulated.
People go to sexworkers with illusions in their head. Sexworkers may have no illusions, but then most people don't have illusions about their own profession.
On the degree: my fault for not being clearer. In the USA, you cannot practice without a doctoral degree, which is what I was talking about. Studying psychology is not the same as being able to practice. A four year degree, or in the case of someone in the UK, a three year degree, barely scrapes the surface of psychology - it is nothing more than a survey of what topic are available for a more in depth study. It takes 8 years or more in the USA to be qualified, after having done extensive studies, having a mentor for 3 years, and passing rigorous exams. there are too many people on the streets today selling themselves for drugs and that has nothing to do with sexual well being and everything to do with addiction.
Most universities here require freshmen to take a course in Human Sexuality, the result has been the rise of "fuck budies", no one pays for anything or expects anything
I am not invalidating a community of sexworkers. You missed my point. I am talking about evolution. Evolution requires humans to procreate and protect its young by forming longtime bonds - familial and tribal. Sexwork encourages no bonds between partners or an investment in offspring, which requires long term commitment and involvement.
Where did I say ALL women want something for sex. I just asked a question about how many women have done it.
I have no doubt you can pay for your meals or anything else you would like. Can a woman pay has nothing to do with does she pay. Personally, I think it's sexy for a woman to invite and pick up the tab.
So in the last say 20 dates you had, how many times have you gone on where you paid for your or both meals? Do you have any friends that have gotten something of value before she had sex with someone? Tell me it never happens.
Finally, I made a comment about the comment Max made. He seems to be in the US. I don't know which point you say is invalid.
Of course it happens, but I can honestly say nobody in my circle of friends has ever indicated that the dinner or movie was 'payment' for having sex. Isn't the purpose of a date to enjoy each others company? Laugh together, get to know each other, share an enjoyable time? But then again, I don't date men who would pay for a meal or whatever and expect sex as a result.
And the original poster is in the UK. The post is about the sex trade in general, not just in the US.
Which may or may not help you to see where the issue re: differences between prostitution & marriage may be more apparent:
Authenic history of prostitution
OF WHORES AND WIVES: HAVELOCK ELLIS ON MARRIAGE
The forward-thinking, 19th century English sexologist, Havelock Ellis, described the difference between a wife and a sex worker this way: "The wife who marries for money, compared with a prostitute, is the true scab. She is paid less, gives much more in return in labor and care, and is absolutely bound to her master. The prostitute [on the other hand] never signs away the right over her own person, she retains her freedom and personal rights, nor is she always compelled to submit to man's embraces."
DEFINING THE WORDS "MARRIAGE" & "WIFE"
And so we see that the monogamous bond began as a sexual contract based on mundane economic considerations rooted in prostitution. Not surprisingly, many contemporary feminists see little difference between the role a wife plays and that of a sex worker paid for hire. Dr. Dale Spender, for example, defines marriage as a form of legalized prostitution; that is, "the exchange of sexual services for material support." Andre Dworkin takes a less charitable view, calling marriage a "legal contract which sanctions rape." Some feminists, using our new politically correct vocabulary, now actually define a wife as "an unpaid sex worker." This is in contrast to a prostitute, who is defined as "a paid sex worker."
WHY MEN MAKE POOR HUSBANDS & FATHERS
On the other hand, neither paternal love, paternity, or the paternal figure, have ever played important roles in human culture. Fatherhood, as Margaret Mead and other anthropologists have repeatedly observed, is a "recent cultural invention." This explains why in almost every society, numerous social, legal, and religious laws have been created to entice men into marriage and keep them there. The truth is that neither long-term monogamous marriage, the two-parent family unit, or the role of "father," are natural to men. These newly created cultural ideas must be intentionally taught to men from an early age on. Without this intensive socialization for family life, few men will find this mode of living inviting or even tolerable.
THE TRUE ORIGINS & MEANING OF MARRIAGE
Even the patriarchal attempt to wipe out the Great Whore-Goddess by secularizing prostitution has been unsuccessful: the word "marriage" comes from the ancient phrase, "Mari's Age," once used to determine the age at which a woman (or a man) was ready to be sacrally bound to another. The word marriage literally means: "union under the sacred auspices of the Whore-Mother-Goddess Mari." Our word-phrase "Holy Matrimony" has similar origins. "Holy" derives from the word hol, or as we now spell it, "hole," the dark cave-like symbol of Goddess's sacred vulva (recall that the ancient Semitic word for "hole" or "cave" is hor or whore). The word "Hell" is related to hol as well: one of Goddess's ancient Germanic names was Hol, Hel, or Hell, the name given to the dark Christian Underworld by anti-Goddess Christian males. (Note: Christian mythographers intentionally located Hell in the midst of the body of Goddess; that is, at the center of the Earth.) "Matrimony" derives from the words matri, meaning "mother" or "earth" (the words "material" and "matter" derive from matri) and the word mon, meaning "Moon." (Note: the word "man" is a corruption of mon or "moon," originally a word which meant "female." After the Patriarchal Takeover, the word was stolen from women and applied to men, an act meant to devitalize and devalue the human female.)
MARRIAGE IS SANCTIONED PROSTITUTION
However, by institutionalizing prostitution under the word "marriage," our Judeo-Christian-based society itself continues to keep the whore's trade alive. As was noted earlier, all states have laws that require married men to financially support their wives, while at the same time requiring wives to provide sexual services for their husbands. This relationship form is defined by Webster, as it is by most contemporary sexologists and feminists, as "prostitution." Even in countries where polygyny (a man having multiple wives simultaneously) is practiced, we find the same established custom of "marriage-as-institutionalized prostitution," revealing that the oldest profession in the world has not been exterminated. It has merely been renamed and sanctioned under the catch-phrase "monogamous marriage."
It has only been in the past 300 years that the definition of father has been manipulated - which coincides with the rise of the middle class, a group of people striving to be upperclass. No one gives a crap about peasants. Those that live closer to the land require a partner – and either sex can leave the unfit partner.
Havelock Ellis is a sexologist from the Victorian Age. VERY few women will marry a man whose embrace they are “compelled to submit to.” Not all women marry for money. Let's not forget the men who marry for money. Then there are marriages where one partner brings a name and the other brings money.
marriage = Middle English mariage, from Old French, from marier, to marry = Middle English marien, from Old French marier, from Latin maritare, from maritus, married. The term wife originated from the Middle English wif, from Old English wīf, woman, wife, from Germanic * wībam, woman, related to Modern German Weib (woman, wife), from the Indo-European root ghwībh-; wīb, meaning veiled or clothed, referred to the wedding veils. The original meaning of “wife” as simply “woman”, unconnected with marriage, is preserved in words like “midwife” and “fishwife”.
holy = Middle English, from Old English hālig; akin to Old English hāl whole = Middle English hool healthy, unhurt, entire, from Old English hāl; akin to Old High German heil healthy, unhurt, Old Norse heill, Old Church Slavic cělŭ
The legal contract of marriage is a business deal. That doesn’t mean it is legalized prostitution or makes the wife an unpaid sex worker – or the husband for that matter. Today’s husband can be a stay at home dad, work from home, and many do a lot in the division of labor in the house. And how does the definitions of the role of women play out in all those relationships that don’t involve marriage, where the term partner is used? Or how about same sex marriage/relationships?
Most of these arguments are against a Victorian tradition and fail in the modern world. To say that newly created cultural ideas intentionally taught to men are unnatural and therefore are intolerable is like saying child labor laws are intolerable or that we shouldn’t provide social services, like education or health care.