lynne tansey

lynne tansey
Tintagel, cornwall, UK
April 27
I am an ex-prostitute/dominatrix from the UK. Now a writer/artist on the rights of pro-prostitution issues. A stigma buster & a advocate for the renewal of social values to be bestowed to sexworkers. I have had 30 years experience in the sex industry, both bad & good. experienced what its like to be brutally attacked & survive, after being charged with murder of a client, facing the stigma`s involved in the legal & media world for sexworkers. My stance is `non-victim`, rather see experiences as lifes trials & adventures which are there for the learning & the empowering if looked at from a inquiring & balanced viewpoint. Sexworkers are both amateur & professional in their career choices, some people get this mixed up & see sexworkers as `the same! This is far from the truth. many sexworkers have never had reliable advice or support, whilst others have shared their knowledge & grown as a result of this type of networking. These are intelligent & pro-active sexworkers who rarely get the chance to be heard outside of the sex industry world. These are also sexworkers who help humankind, are real carers & real teachers. Teaching & caring for those who otherwise would be damaged or lost in their conceptions of both what sex is about & the inner aspects of both male & female that sits within us all! respect for gender & respect for sex is the forward & healthy way for humankind. Little is discussed about the real aspects of both sex & sexuality in mainstream media. Which is a sorry indictment on societies, considering the amount of advertising for sex that available. I believe the emotions around relationships & sex should be readily discussed & debated from a young age & in the education system. A way to truly prepare the future generations for the right kind of choices to make in their own futures. I also believe that violence both against women/children & or sexworkers `could` be radically reviewed or changed during this process.


Lynne tansey's Links
JULY 20, 2009 3:51PM

Are all women prostitutes?

Rate: 9 Flag

The question is `are all women prostitutes?
& please give this some thought before you respond...rather then acting on emotional or social initial beliefs.
Nor is this intended as any disrespect to women or men for that matter, rather a social/personal observation.

Do women exchange sex either directly or indirectly for profit..this profit could be material, emotional or even physical gain.
Is it a fact that the female of the species..any species..has this strength/gift/advantage..that enables her to survive using sex as a barter, either consciously or unconsciously?

IMO they/we have..but have been either unable or niave enough to think it does not exist, unless you have had the insight to be honest with yourself.
This has little to do with love..if anything, this is about a deep inborn trigger of survival

I do not intend for my post to offend women, but know it may.
You cannot pose such questions & have such discussions in life, without offending someone.
& what is it `too be offended`? ..more likely a prod at difficult personal issues more than anything!
I did not write `are all humans prostitutes?` because the prejudice against prostitutes is mainly aimed at women!
& funnily women!
Even when men prostitute themselves..the majority you will see have donned the female aspect of themselves & are submissive.
Rarely, rarely do you see/meet a guy who is the stud & a prostitute.
You ask a guy to go out there & make money from being a stud for women..& you will meet a poor guy, because not much if any business will come his way, despite how hard he tries or fantasies!

Jung did have a prostitute as part of the inner facets & she is a female..this is not sexist, just a fact! Jung amongst others,  were  of the ilk of psychologists who used the prostitute as one of the archetypes that are facets of ourselves..this archetype applies to guys as much as it does to women..`she` is always placed on the feminine aspect. `She` also is one who holds a lot of personal sexual wisedom about ourselves

I used this question to better get people to recognise that the women that you see around the world prostituting themselves either on the street..or in the other echelons of the profession, are not `so` far removed from every other woman about..despite many who think they are above such practises...they are in fact denying a sistership, a part of themselves. It is in this perception that we can create social/sexual & political `abuse` of sexworkers..which in turn, gives ideas & opportunities to those who are sexually & violently dysfunctional.
Society/family `can` therefore create the monsters that maim, injure or kill prostitutes & they create them by `attitude`. 

I have been a professional prostitute for many, many years of my retired from `financially shared prostitution`...but have never retired from `being` a prostitute. In fact I am proud to be one of the few who truly are honest about the part prostitution has played in my life. To deny that would be to deny a fundemental part of myself...a part that gave me so much wisedom about my own truths.
I have carried this knowledge though on in my life & do as much as I can to educate people into their own sexual/political/religious/social dysfunctions & attitudes towards the sex industry

Many prostitutes have low self esteem because society makes that so..they always feel segregated from family & society. Having therefore to limit their communications with the aforementioned in a way that others don`t. This sometimes can make them prey to those who take full advantage of their isolation & emotions.

Many people think that the exchange is the birthing, household/child-rearing that women can offer. Though as many women do not want to birth or cannot birth for varioyus reasons..many women do not do the housework either or share it with their partners. If therefore these are the rewards given back for allowing sexual actions, then these women are at a loss so to speak!

It is mainly women who are at the front line of anti-pros crusading..women I have found are the most verment of attackers against other women who have chosen pros as their trade.
That is the reason I have used this form of help others understand that they are not so far removed or `above` those who use sex as a means of barter & say so in an honest way. Its society & family that segregate these women & make them feel isolated from other members of society.
This in turn does not help all to understand or accept the value of each other. In fact imo it cause some people to get it terribly wrong & can create the monsters that hate prostitutes & cause a great deal of the violence/abuse & murder we see against all women in societies around the world.

It creates sociel/political/sexual/religious dsyfunctions against sexworkers & not just sexworkers that are finiancially dependant on their trade but those women who just happened to be passing by!

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Well, it's a bit of a stretch to invoke the Jungian concept of archetypes to justify literal prostitution. If anything, the "prostitute" archetype is pretty minor in the pantheon of archetypes and more broadly describes that within us that is willing to compromise our ethics for financial gain.

The literal physical act of prostitution often involves a woman being taken advantage of. For most prostitutes, it's not simply a career choice, but rather extreme duress such as drug addiction, homelessness, or threat of violence that causes them to become a prostitute.

And so, I believe that if someone chooses to be a prostitute while at the same time being ethically and emotionally honest with themselves about the realities of that choice - fine.

But if someone becomes a prostitute because they are a teen runaway and are taken advantage of by a pimp, or because they are homeless and will starve otherwise - well, I think in that case they are harming themselves spiritually.

As for whether "all" women are prostitutes, I'd say no. It may be far from your experience, but I believe that most women simply fall in love with a guy and get married, and that the thought of exchanging sex for something else never is a part of it for either of them.

In the "old days" perhaps that theory might have held water, but these days both women and men have sex with no strings attached, because they enjoy it. And since women want sex, they don't view having sex as a sacrifice. And since they know that men can get sex without actually getting married, they further realize that it can't really be used as a bargaining chip in the way you describe.

It's probably viewed differently in different stratas of our society, but from where I come love, men and women get married because they love each other and want to go through life with the other as their partner- they don't perform a mental bartering.
I have never been paid for sex and yet during my time in a religious cult I spent 7 years giving my sexual favors to remain in the group. I actually felt as if I were being raped most of the time. Half of my marriage has been sex just to keep peace or out of pity and not for love.
I believe there can be a shared sexual situation where neither is paying off any obligation but just for the sheer love of one another. I just haven't found it very much.
Uh rated for bravery. I am surprised you have not gotten more hostile responses. perhaps wait. no comment otherwise.
women aren't prostitutes, they are women: female human animals.

they raise they children as other animals do, sometimes alone like a leopard, sometimes with family help like meercats, and sometimes with the help of a man, often the biological father.

holding the help of a particular man is tricky, but evolution has provided some tools, of which sex is a strong component.telling a man her child is also his, a little him to go on after his death has been an even stronger tool, but it has been a double-edged sword, leading to female enslavement so that men can control the 'me-factory'.

these biological tools continue, long after we have left the savanna, and the farm. the result in modern society is prostitution, retail sex for money, cutting away commitment and responsibility.

it should be legal, respectable and safe. it should be a trade, like carpentry, or remedial massage.

it's not an alien thing, an act of satan, not taboo or disgusting. just another part of being human in the 21st century.
Just another part of being a SAILBOAT!
While not all sexual acts are prostitution, but what do you call the "gold diggers" of the world? I want the good life so if I have to live with and screw this rich man, so be it.

I got in trouble once here for making a comment about younger women saying that a man has to take her to dinner and a movie before she puts out. I know us men expect to have that expense before the evening moves to the bedroom.

At least the pros are upfront about what is going on. Pay for it now, or pay for it later. Besides, you don't pay a pro for sex. You pay for her to leave.
The idea that all women are prostitutes is ridiculous. I have no problem with prostitution and think it should be legal for adult women to do whatever they like with their own bodies, including profiting monetarily. Many women, including myself, have sex because they want to. Is an orgasm included in your idea of physical gain?
I think, and I'm not sure - but I think, that any members of a group who use their resources fully and who excel beyond the status quo are pariah.

Anyone who gives attention and presence in return for same is no different than a prostitute. Every conscientious professional who does his or her job in return for compensation is a prostitute.

It means that we exchange value for value. It means that we offer with expectation. It is perfectly human and beautiful and normal.

But of any group, when a few figure out how to make it work the many will try to tear them down.

Thank you for writing and sharing this, I look forward to reading more from you.
Sorry, what exact point are you trying to make? Why not ask whether every organism that has conscious reasoning on the planet is a prostitute? Either you're trying to be shocking, which if you are you're pretty outdated, because most of the people I know accept prostitution as a worthy contribution to society, or you're just plain pathetic.

As for being interested in "sex contract", get a life.
Huntress...whats beefing you? I quite clearly state my reasons in paragraph 6!
Maybe people `you` know can accept prostitution as a social worthy contributer, but there are thousands who don`t..or have no opinion or thought about this subject.
It seems to me, your wording is just set out to demean either me or what I have said, else why bother?
Unless you have something worthwhile to say?
For your information huntress, sometimes when I post stuff about prostitution, it promotes some women who have or do have a life within the sex industry & feel isolated to contact me & then they at least know they are not alone & that `someone` does understand & can relate to them. Some have been even suicidal & really stressed out! So your flippancy & sarcasm is out of place really!
This is a fascinating post on a topic that is poorly understood and your input is very welcome. No wonder it gets some people angry. I think it's important to expand the concept of "prostitution" and look at it in other areas as well. For example, my job as a translator/interpreter has nothing to do with sex, but people come to me for my services all the time, and sometimes I go to them and do pretty much whatever they want me to, although I remain my own boss. I didn't consciously choose this work but basically slid into it, and I've often thought of it as a sort of prostitution (although I don't need to undress for it). Isn't it the same for other people as well?

Otherwise, the answer to your question on women is certainly "yes" in many cases. At least the traditional Western marriage is set up the way you describe it here, although I think we're quickly moving towards more equitable relationships. I look forward to future posts.
Of course not. Unless you want to say all men are prostitutes as well as they too often have sex with the people they marry. ::roll of eyes:: I actually think it's a bit sad you see everything in terms of barter and exchange. If every woman is a prostitute, in your world, every dad is her pimp, every man is a client and women are worth nothing unless they are being fucked.

Except that women are worth far more than what is between their legs. You need to get out more with a different group of people.
Alan I appreciate your post, but I think most peoples concept of prostitution & why it gets to them so much, is that prostitution is `sex services for reward`.
odetteroulette: rather than evoke more your remarks about father/son etc, etc..but I will add `all` our raltionships are based on the concept of the `romantic family..the first experiences we have as children..look it up!
So consider it this way, this is a writing I did some time ago about this kind of thought provoking issue:
When people say prostitution is the world's oldest profession, they mean that since the beginning of time women have not given their love away for free. Men are the opposite. Not only are they inclined to give their love freely, they are prepared to do or give anything to obtain it. This is the principal characteristic of sexual reproduction, which we share with other animals.
Girls learn at an early age that many men, young and old, are attracted to her. This thrills and frightens her. Her biological task, however, is to be fertilised by one man who is not only as healthy and as possible, but is willing to help her raise and protect children he made with her.
As it turns out, young, strong, prosperous men with a high social status have always been the most wanted on the marriage market. Their qualities are, as it were, entrance tickets to vaginas. This makes marriage the most popular and acceptable form of prostitution.

In the wider market of sexual desire and the search for gratification, marriage may be the top attraction, but there is a wide variety of sexual liaisons beneath that pinnacle of respectability. Girls recognise themselves as sexually attractive and experience satisfaction from looking at their own image in the mirror. Fashion, the make-up industry and the soft pornography of advertising exert a strong attraction.

Some girls start having sex at a younger age than others, but all discover that they obtain favours in exchange for the sexual satisfaction they provide. They may be looking for Mr Right and marriage and a a family of their own, but in the meantime they also want to have fun. They have affairs and are helped by their partners to get a nice job, a fine apartment, a better living-standard. Usually this occurs so naturally that the idea of 'prostitution' doesn't even arise, especially when there is only one man and he is truly in love and she likes him. Such 'mistresses' or 'lady friends' are usually kept in the background, but they may also become influential advisers and hold a high position in society.

If the number of contacts increases, and the price per meeting is set more explicitly it becomes more recognisable as prostitution, but here, too, there are ranks to be distinguished. The higher class of professional lovers are called 'geisha', 'hostess', or 'escort'. Essential questions are, of course: does the woman decide with whom she has sex and in what way? Does she have self-confidence and is she educated? Does she have enough knowledge about sex to make smart decisions and does she have the freedom to decide for herself what she wants? Recently, conservative religious feminism has begun to condemn prostitution as a crime against women. To support this claim, every sexual act for payment is considered 'rape'. The 'escorts' claim that they act out of free will, is dismissed as self-deception.

There is, as always, a scale of distinctions between the higher and lower ranks of prostitution. At the bottom of the scale are the victims of sex-trafficking who are sold like slaves, are nothing but objects and don't have anything to say about their lives. They see themselves as failures, as opposites of the successfully married middle class wives and mothers, a status to which they aspire.
But both extremes are somewhat fictional, and figure mainly in moralist discourse about prostitution. In reality, there exist all kinds of gradations of 'sex in exchange for something' in the sexual market place.

Prostitution is thus to be defined as a socio-economic phenomenon, illustrating the free market where everybody sells themselves for money or goods, exploits and is exploited, and where some make more profit than others. In that sense prostitution (including male prostitution) is an economic rather than a sexual phenomenon. On the other hand, prostitution illustrates clearly the gender difference which lies at the heart of the sexual system, and is therefore not a by-product, but the very foundation of our economy.

Definitions of marriage:

1. transforms the status of a man & woman.
2. stipulates the degree of sexual access the married partners may have to each other (exclusive, preferred).
3. establishes the legitimacy of children born to the wife.
4. creates relationships between the husbands & wifes kin.
5. specifies economic duties of husband & wife.

Isn't traditional marriage a form of institutionalized prostitution? A young lady agrees to provide sexual and reproductive services to a man, in direct exchange for financial support

Sex, like everything else, is up on the table for 'sale' within marriage and other relationships. It is not a foreign concept to anyone who has ever been in a sexual relationship over an extended period of time. Usually there is no direct exchange of money, but natural exchanges in a give-and-take situation do occur when things are normal and healthy. So long as there are no heavy demands and freedom of choice exists, sex is a commodity of sorts.
If you think of prostitution as women getting something in return for providing sex, then I believe that applies to a huge number of women. And many men are more than happy to offer them that something else, whatever it may be. Sex is definitelty a tool, used by many, to get what they want. And that could be the offering of sex or the witholding of sex. Love your honesty and your perspective.