There have been several posts lately about people running people off; people making critical comments; people feeling left out and not part of the "cool kids". Interestingly enough, there has been a concurrent theme of high school photos. WTF?
I have been having some bad flashbacks from all of this......
In junior high and high school, kids are so worried about being different. I have a son in the 7th grade and you could not pay me all the money in the world to be that age again. Kids can be mean, cruel and ugly to each other.
Being different = harassment.
In my teen years, the "cool kids" were the kids who were all the same. They had similar haircuts, the same styles of clothing and similar interests. They didn't get hassled by anyone. I used to think that if I were like them, I would fit in and then I wouldn't get teased and I would belong. But even though I played sports, was on the student council, participated in events, I never felt "cool". I was weird. I even dropped out after my junior year and entered college a year early because I felt so alienated.
The "cool kids" usually weren't the ones who were outspoken, creative, sensitive, off-beat, activists, brilliant, emotional, artistic, theatrical, nerdy, thoughtful, ADHD, goofy, depressed, wild, geeky, old souls, hilarious. The cool kids were average. They played it safe.
Then there were the bullies. The bullies had an innate ability to hone in on anyone that was different. Some bullies were “cool kids”, but most were just another subset trying to not be different, by picking on people who were different. The bullies were incredibly insecure.
Over the years, I became comfortable with my weirdness. My dog is weird. My kids are weird. My youngest son came home all upset one day in the 1st grade. The other kids had told him he was weird. His brother, an 8th grader, smiled and said, “You ARE weird. Mom’s weird. I’m weird. We're the weird family. Just accept it.”
From my observations of OS, in the month that I have been here, I haven’t seen many "cool kids" (translate: average, playing it safe, the same). I have seen the outspoken, creative, sensitive, off-beat, activist, brilliant, emotional, artistic, theatrical, nerdy, thoughtful, ADHD, goofy, depressed, wild, geeky, old soul, hilarious kids.
And a few bullies.
But they are just insecure.
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Comments
Great description. And those bullies are insecure.
Rated for coolness
Now that I am becoming a crone and don't do most of the really weird stuff I did in my 20s and 30s, I bemoan the fact that I am getting old and boring. The DH invariably responds, "No one would ever call you boring." I suppose for some people that would be a negative, but it makes me light up like a Christmas tree every time.
And speaking of weirdness and Christmas trees....My Christmas tree this year is an antique hall tree based on a famous image from a forest fire in France of several bears in a tree. It has lights and decorations, and the umbrella holder on the bottom--which looks like a little puddle--is filled with garlands. Christmas, Che' Mer style.
Long live Weird! :D
Being the same is boring. Being different is what makes us all, as a community (and that's what OS is supposed to be....right?), interesting and unique.
In my opinion, everyone being the same will never spark ideas, create new ways of thinking or even cure cancer. Nothing in the universe is the same - stars, snowflakes, the way womens jeans are made, nothing. And I like it that way.
Rated.
Rated for weirdness.
Our school was kind of weird though I suppose. I was not popular since I didn't hang out with just ONE crowd but I was well-known if that makes sense. I kind of just flitted amongst all the circles...and all the circles interacted. Heck almost all 400 of us showed up for a funeral of one of our fellow graduates 6 months after graduation.
Almost all posters on OS (except for those who read, rate, and comment entirely at random among the posts available) find some number of other posters whose blogs they repeatedly visit. OS is a social network as well as a blogging site, and so this sort of thing is encouraged by the software itself, to some extent. If such interest is reciprocated--and this naturally often happens, due to shared interests, temperament, or whatever--then you see the formation of pairings and then of groups. To someone new to OS, it will look as if there are all these cliques floating around, dominated by people who have been here the longest. Cool kids who don't pay attention to newcomers. But this (in my opinion, at least) is just the result of long-time posters having had more chances to find and interact with people they're compatible with, and fewer chances to interact with new faces.
It reminds me of C.S. Lewis' description of hell in The Screwtape Letters as being a dinner table with spoons so long one could not eat/put the spoon in one's mouth.
In hell the people starved because they could not eat.
In heaven the people fed each other.
Sorry for the weird digression but if we promoted the work of newcomers so it could be read then this ridiculous concern with editor's picks and popularity would die a natural death.
I enjoyed the piece a great deal. On OS, everyone is cool. Regardless.
rated
Peace,
Greg
Leaving high school and entering college was such a freeing thing for me. I was free to be me, as trite as that sounds. A few years later, I was cocktailing at a club on the strip at college and that identical popular crowd from high school came in for drinks. It was like they had formed a support group of ordinariness. The years had given me more confidence and I could finally see them for what they were, a bunch of self-important unexceptional kids who I would never want to b friends with. They seemed lost in this new fun world, had one drink, and left. I think it drove them crazy that I was the one in my element and could hold my head up and speak with confidence to them. After HS, they lost their place in the world. I almost felt sorry for them, almost.
You hit a nerve. Thumbed.
And I also found college to be a freeing time, though the real freedom came from graduating college. (I never really felt like I "fit in" in college, either.) But one thing for sure--once I left high school, everything that happened during those years immediately became irrelevant. A brand new game had obviously begun, and the score was zero to zero!
*Siobhan looks around and shrugs shoulders*
ive been called weird alot and i just have come to accpted it because its like why follow the crowd and blend in