I love the beach.

Last year, I was here for this same week.  I had won a beach rental in a sweepstakes- sheer good fortune at a time when my need was great.  A year ago, the world was bleak for me.  My line of work was hit hard by the first wave of the economic downturn.  Having lived on my own since I was 17, I was facing having to move in with my dad or live off of my savings (and then move in with my dad!)  The uncertainty after the election, the economy, the environment, my own personal experiences.  I was in apocalyptic mode.

I am very aware how different I feel this year.  No pensive, meditative walks on the beach alone.  My mom and I walked together.  She came over for a few days.  My mother and I have always had a  good relationship, sprinkled with tension at times.   She gets "a tone", "the voice".   I react.  Feel criticized.  We bicker.

I have been consciously working hard to let go, to realize that things are not that important, to laugh.  Life is short and I just have one mom.

Grand Canyon?

 Not!

 This was too weird!

After close examination, it appears this was the contents of this bird's stomach!

Everyone left yesterday, except for my youngest son.  We walked together.  He has spent more time alone this year because I have been working so hard.  We have been hanging out and watching The Lord of the Rings.  It is nice, just the two of us.

 Today, I went out by myself.  30 mile hour winds.  Cold, but I was windproof...

 The wind had blown away the dry sand and exposed the embedded shells.

The patterns were beautiful.

Despite my bleak, apocalyptic outlook, in 2009, I did what I do every year.  I  got up every day, loved my kids,  helped others and worked hard.  I did my best to be in the moment, to be aware that things pass, to accept the difficulties of life, to be connected and present.

My ex-husband came through with payments on 7 years of back child support that kept me afloat until my work turned around.  I have had the second best year of my career and had a blast with everything I was involved in.  I am enormously grateful.

I know this too will pass. 

   Constant change.   A fundamental truth.   All is good.