Dear American comrades,
Please, no more Sarah Palin or Joe the Plubmer!
While you may sit in your La-Z-Boys stuffing your faces full of doritos while crying into your salsa at Barack Obama's infomercial with impunity back in the home country, us traitors who live abroad must wither the scorn of everyone from the supermarket cashier to the kings of our host countries.
French people put cigarettes out in our eyes, Germans refuse to serve us our Cokes, and Belgians snicker in Flemish, which is not pleasant, if you have experienced it.
We are mocked and pilloried, and tarred and feathered, and not even giant Obama buttons help stem the tide of ridicule. Just the other day, they poured vinegar on my lunch foie gras while I wasn't looking, and then called me "moose-girl". It's terrible.
So, please, think of your brothers and sisters abroad when choosing running mates and average American idiot spokespeople.
Praise Allah, Gobama.
Your Madame Bitch