I can't help it. I just don't find babies all that cute. I don't mean I don't find them cute AT ALL, just not THAT cute. Give me a puppy or even a full grown dog or cat and I'm all over that. My heart goes all mushy, I get the googoos, and my hands can hardly wait to touch the soft fuzziness of an animal. But babies? Not so much.
I don't think the fact that I'm a lesbian has anything to do with it. We all know LOTS of lesbians who are mothers and I think most women in general get the ga-gas about babies. My spouse (I'm Canadian, eh?) has a grandson who is 5, which is a far more palatable age than the drooling stage, and I love him. I don't want to be around him all the time, but I do love him - he's smart and into a stage where he is curious, and has a personality.
However, I don't care WHAT mothers say about their gurglers, they do not have personality. They are lumps of mewling, pooing, peeing, burping...THINGS. Oh, I can hear all those 'children come first' people just gritting their teeth. I don't care. I will say that in my own unique bigoted way, ethnic babies are more tolerable than the pink Caucasian things. I've never liked the color pink to begin with.
And this 'innocence thing'. Come on. Babies are innocent only because they haven't the ability to say 'give that to me, I don't care about you'. Once they start talking, that's pretty much what they are about. Even my beloved step-grandson (is there such a thing?) believes the whole world revolves around whether he gets to play video games, gets attention, gets, gets, gets. Why is it cute when a being thinks only of itself, schemes, sneaks, lies, (ok we call them fibs) to get what they want? Not cute.
Animals (let's say dogs for our purpose) never learn to talk. They whine only when they miss you, or want their supper. They don't pout, or have temper tantrums because they can't play with the Wii, or because someone took their rattler away. They just accept. They accept cruelty, absence, isolation, whatever we dish out and still keep coming back for nothing but love (ok and a cookie now and then). They are soft, warm, and smell way better than baby poo.
Babies are just unformed people. Was Bush a cute baby? To most people the answer would be 'of course!', as babies by definition just ARE cute. So people gooed and gaaed over him like he was, well - a prince. He did a nice job of grabbing a similar sort of position. My point being, that these babies are just unformed people. Why do we think they are miracles? Every person with unassailably unnatractive characteristics was once a baby everyone thought was a miracle. Well, when do they stop being so miraculous? The first time they strangle their hamster? The first time they use a racial epithet on one of their little school mates?
And what do we do with the ugly babies. (Rhetorical question). There are some babies out there who are just either funny looking or plain old butt ugly. It's not their fault, but surely we can ACKNOWLEDGE this, if only quietly to ourselves. I get mothers loving their spawn - really, I think I do. But why are the rest of us expected to become weak-kneed and gooey. The last time I held a kid it barfed on me, and I couldn't wait to get rid of the little puker. It was funny looking, to boot. Now, I politely say 'oh, no - the poor thing would just cry if I held it.' And that's probably true - because if these beings have even an inkling of perception, they KNOW that I am staring at them and thinking 'So what so GREAT about you???'
There's another thing. People are so PROUD of their babies. WHY? Anyone with suitable fertility can have a baby. It takes no brains, no special skills to pop out a kid. I understand being proud of a youngster who has done well in school, has been kind to his/her friends, etc. But WHY proud of a baby whose only accomplishment is to BE. The potential for an extraordinary child is just the same as the potential for a child which will be nothing but a bane to society.
I think the abuse of children is pure evil. I also think the abuse of animals is pure evil. Now don't get your panties in a twist thinking I'm going to make a comparison. I'm not. I'm not, because y'all are right - this is just MY particular feeling. Call me deranged or 'bad' if you will, but the ads on TV that break my heart are the ones which depict the heartlessness with which we treat our animals. Yes, I cry. I cannot even watch some of them. I give money to charities which help reduce animal abuse or aid in their welfare. I am not, however, immune to the ads which show us how the rampant stupidity of people causes babies (who didn't ask to be born, after all) to live in intolerable conditions because of war or idiot parents. But they don't make me cry. I don't know why. They just don't.
Now, my dogs - I can watch them for hours even as they sleep. The sleep of the true innocent. The innocent who will never grow up to be a thief, a misogynist, a cheat, or harm anyone without provocation. I get that wooly feeling, the warm heart - all that stuff, when my big ol' German Shepherd puts her big ol' head in my lap and with the purest of trust, goes to sleep. I don't have to pace the floor, bounce her on my knee, or drive her around the block for 2 hours until she falls asleep. She just needs me and my lap and I just need my hand on her warm fur, and the sound of her gentle breathing. Hurt her, and I'll show you maternal instinct.
So maybe I'm evil, maybe I'm heartless, maybe I have a hormonal deficiency (do men have to feel gooey about babies? No. If they prefer to hand them off, or 'act uncomfortable' it is often perceived as 'cute' male behaviour. 'Oh, look at George, he doesn't know how to hold the baby - here George let me have this perfect being which you are too male to appreciate'.) Cute, cute, cute. Aack. Give me a good dog anyday. Please.