Dieting is probably the worst thing you can do if you want to lose weight. I’m not talking about wanting to lose 5 lbs to get into your swimsuit. You’re not fat. I’m talking about folks who need to lose 20 or more pounds. You will eat carrot sticks and celery, eliminate as much carbohydrate and fat from your diet and as soon as you hit that goal weight and begin to eat as a normal person, trust me – you’ll put it all back on again, plus some.
Food is an addiction. When you eat something you like, your brain gets flooded with those good feeling dopamines. In fact even thinking about, say a chocolate bar, can get the dopamines flowing. The likelihood that you will then go and GET that chocolate bar are high. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, ‘Oh dear, today I cheated on my diet’. You didn’t cheat on your diet, your diet is cheating you.
I was never heavy until I started dieting. That is until my 90 lb mother started me dieting. At the age of 12, I was a normal weight (even on the smaller side) child. I was given smaller portions than everyone else, and I can remember watching my brother eat a piece of lemon meringue pie which I was not allowed. I have no idea why she thought I was going to get fat, but she did.
At 13 I went to boarding school (my mother was ill – at the time) and ate like a normal 13 year old. Lots of activity and believe it or not, lots of good food. I came home with baby fat. My mother was appalled. Out came the diets again, the grapefruit and poached egg (that's ALL you ate), the tuna fish and grapefruit (that’s ALL you ate) the liver and spinach one day, then only fluids the next. This went on for years. And oh, yes – I lost weight to the point of being downright skinny, but another diet had to be hauled out when I put the NORMAL weight back on, and began to gain some in the process. You all know this is called Yo-Yo dieting (no relation to Ma). Up, down, up – then some. I’ve been on Scarsdale, Weight Watchers, Aitkens… just about every diet you could name by the time I was 26. And by the time I was 26 – I was fat.
I never needed those diets – they just made me superconscious of my weight when I really didn’t need to be. Then when I needed to be, I lost hope. I knew the diets were the cause (I lost a gall bladder at 27 which the doctor said was a direct result of yo-yo dieting). So I stopped dieting. I was afraid of getting even bigger. It never occurred to me, (doh) that sensible eating and some exercise would have done the trick. So I got even fatter.
Oh ladies and gentleman a 265 lb woman is not healthy. It IS about vanity at a certain age. You are on the market so to speak (although for some reason I never had problems with that) at the ages of 20 + you want to fit into those great clothes that your friends are wearing. Instead you go to a plus size shop and simply get what fits you. It wears on the self image and it wears on the body.
But it is also about health. By the time I was in my late forties, I had high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, and diabetes. I knew something had to be done, but many of the medications I take slowed my metabolism. And I won’t say I love exercising. At that age, losing weight is an issue in itself. As I’ve spoken of before (please see an older post) I went for gastric banding and lost 75 lbs. I’m still chunky, but not really FAT. I have another 40 lbs to go before I will feel truly healthy.
Now this does not involve dieting. It involves ensuring that you eat the proper portions of food, make good food choices and walk your dog at least once a day. This can be done without the gastric band and it is NOT dieting. For younger people exercise is key – don’t put yourself on some dumb diet as I guarantee you will simply put it all back on and just get heavier.
There are those who are comfortable being large. To you I take my hat off. I even understand that some large people can be more ‘fit’ than some thin ones. (Think of those gi-normous football players). If self image, health is not an issue, then have at it.
But for those of you, young or old to whom it is a concern, particularly health wise, don’t diet. Just don’t. Weight Watchers is probably the best for those without surgical intervention as I had. It at least teaches you how to eat healthily and encourages exercise. Do not go out and get the Suzanne Sommers Diet book (what the hell does she know except how to exercise her thighs?), or the South Beach Diet. None of them work. None. You will just get fatter once those dopamines kick in full tilt when you go off.
I may not speak for everyone, but I know I speak for the majority. Dieting makes you fat.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
flag
Nelle Engoron
newsflash
Larry Nocella
norman kelley
aim
Salon.com
Comments
Congrats on the EP.
The problem I have is that I like food and wine more than is healthy and lack the conviction to moderate my own eating without a drill sargent like Jenny Craig.
I am glad you have had some success with the gastric lap band, but among my friends who have done this, once the band is removed they regain all the weight they lost and sometimes more (just like a diet). It may not be possible to leave the band in place for life, so I hope you are prepared emotionally for that.
I have said it before and say it again here: until we know what causes obesity and how to prevent it and how to cure it, we have no business criticizing obese people...no business telling them what to do eat (we don't KNOW) or how to exercise (which science shows is useless to lose weight). What we need is a COMPASSION TRANSFUSION, so we treat all our fellow human beings with courtesy and respect, and not by how they look.
I was adopted as a baby. My adopted mom was 4'11" and weighed 90 pounds "soaking wet". I was bigger than her in both height and weight by the time I was 12. It was only after finding my birth mother when I was 21 that I first saw a relative that looked like me. In fact, I'm a duplicate of my birth mother. But I digress...
YEARS of dieting started when I was about 6 years old. I look back on pictures and see a normal sized little girl... but my MEMORY of that little girl is chunky, fat and hungry. I am now 52 years old. I've spent years dieting and probably doing more damage. Phen-phen, shots, starvation, over-exercising, grapefruit... I see a lifepath strewn with the casualties of my attempts to be SMALLER.
As I approached 50 though, a healing started. I'm still overweight, but I have begun to THINK about how the food I eat affects my health in general. Nothing like getting older to finally make that correlation. I eat smarter, and slower. I feel better. I will not take the same step as you vis-a-vis any kind of surgery - scares me too much, but I feel the changes occurring.
Thank you so much for your post though. At the end of the day, it may be that there's no better tonic than realizing to your core that you're not alone.
You wrote about an issue here that I'm passionate about. I made a post a while back in response to a post of Jacey Mack's. If you're interested, take a look.
http://open.salon.com/blog/gracielou/2009/01/08/the_me_i_was_my_response_to_jacey_macks_fat_girl_post
It pretty much sums up my thoughts on the topic.
Glad to hear you are reaching a place in your life where real perspective is possible.
Highly rated.
Great piece. R
I agree with Cricket7 about being separated at birth, too! Only, my weight-loss obsession was self-imposed. African-American families, for the most part, do not put their children through the whole yo-yo dieting cycle.
I did manage to lose a LOT of weight when I went to college (I graduated from high school looking very thin, but actually weighed 160 lbs, which was o.k. for my nearly 5'9" frame, especially since most of the weight was concentrated in my thighs and buttocks).
For the first time as a teen, I wore size 9/10, but when I went home, I guess I looked like a skeleton because a year later after I'd gained 40 lbs during the depression that followed me getting kicked out of school for my 'militant' activities, I returned for my brother's graduation and was told my a former teacher that I "looked like myself again, fat and healthy."
See, in some cultures where food is in scarce supply at times, being fat is a defense against starvation. In some African cultures, kings have women 'fattened' and choose the largest ones as their queens.
So, as stated, attitudes about weight are quite cultural and as so eloquently stated in this post, dieting really does make you fat. I stopped dieting at the age of 30 for that very reason and am watching as my youngest sister's weight steadily increases due to her efforts to lose weight.
Thanks for the post and the comments!
Rated
Karin - you obviously know of what you speak! And I'm glad I have an expert to back up my facts. Thanks for dropping by.
FGT - Yes, it is cultural, and we have an idiot of a one that says we must remain THIN, not healthy, but THIN. The diet industry has made a lot off of us all. Thank you for your story.
Yes, those dopamines can get you craving stuff you wouldn't even normally eat (i.e. Big Macs = aack).
What I find people just don't think about is that our bodies don't know from diet. Our bodies are survival mechanisms, designed by nature to recognize feast or famine. Dieting is famine to them. So they go into compensatory mode, slowing our metabolism when we deprive them too much. Then when we eat more again, they in effect say "Oh good, we can make up for lost time here!" and put the fat back on even more efficiently. That's how human beings have survived for millenia, before our present age of excessive food supply (in our country).
Once you recognize that truth, you can work with how your body operates vs. trying to go against thousands of years of human evolution. You eat healthfully and in limited but sufficient portions the vast majority of the time with reasonable indulgences now and then. Your body senses that there is a good but not excessive food supply and your metabolism hums along at a good rate.
And just as importantly, you get used to eating a certain way and it's easier than switching back and forth between patterns of indulgence and deprivation -- esp since the latter state has been proven to trigger over-eating.
You are absolutely right that a steady diet of reasonable portions is the only way to go. The body won't 'recognize' anything else except weight gain and loss. Thanks so much for the input.
Oh and I love, love, love the doggy avatar picture! Too cute! Definitely an incentive for a healthy walk!!
Start with a block, add another or two the next day, and so on, gradually increase your speed as well, and.....guess what?! YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT (which is not to say an organic, whole foods, vegetarian diet isn't best) !!!!
As one example, my daughter, who didn't need to lose any weight, dropped 20 pounds (and literally, before she even realized it!!) when she started bicycling eight miles round trip to work five days a week.
Maybe diets don't work, but exercise sure as hell does!
Soap Box Amy - yes, exercise is the key for many, many people. Some of us however, well, we just never took to it - sports etc. were not a part of our 'cultural' growing up. Reading books, theatre etc. were what my family concentrated on. It may have been to our detriment, but I am so glad you have a healthy happy daughter.
M. Chariot - yes, an interesting thought about the brain damage that may go on in this process. Much 'food' for thought in your comments. Thank you.
I am glad to know that you are healthy and happy today. It's good to tell your story because you can really help others. Weight and dieting are such big issues for our society, especially for women.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Life should be about enjoying it. Walking, laughing, playing, and having good relationships.
Rated.
Emotional eating is something I still struggle with off and on, but learning to cope with stress in more constructive ways has helped.
Rated.
Great post, well thought out.
Rated.
And we all know that the Thigh Master has been a stunning success -- just look around at any swimming pool or gym.
Lady Miko - Emotional eating is all about setting off that dopamine to make us feel better. It is a constant struggle for many of us.
Thoth - you devil
Nick - the thigh master seems to be only popular on the shopping channel
Simple changes like cutting out sugar and sweeteners in drinks, less salt, no more rice, white potatoes (starch is a killer) or pasta.
Swimming is fantastic to burn calories, as is anything that works your biggest muscles.
More than anything though you have to want to lose weight, not use the sympathy vote as a reason to half-arsedly cry off actually sticking to a plan.
If the desire is truly there you will succeed.
I have all the time in the world for anyone who genuinely works at it but I have nothing but revulsion for the sympathy seeking whiners.
Excellent post!