This just in to the MBN news desk:  apparently, men in the United Kingdom, specifically England, are more likely to wash their hands after urinating than do men in the United States.  We turn to our traveling correspondent W. E. Johnson for a report.

WEJ:  Thanks.  After numerous trips to the toilet to observe the action, umm, first-hand, it's no wonder there are worries of a pandemic originating from and about the U.S.  Without doubt, men in England appear to go to the bathroom no more frequently than those in the U.S.--though I notice a hearty "cheers!" when they first unzip their pants which is virtually unheard of in the States--yet, the care in which they take to visit the sink and apply soap and water is easily double the rate of males, say, in the state of Virginia.

MBN:  That's an amazing claim!  Were the Brits disturbed that you were observing so closely?

WEJ:  No, I was very casual and unassuming in my task, actually.  Besides, unlike most public restrooms back in the States, most of the urinals here don't have "no peeky" dividers between them.  It was fairly easy to keep up the stream of information.

MBN:  What made you become aware of such divergent practices?

WEJ:  Disturbingly, I have noticed that in the U.S., men have a tendency to wave at the water in the sink, perhaps even managing to get their fingers lightly wet under the running water on occasion, then rubbing their hands on their pants before strolling out the door.  Of course, there are those who don't wash their hands at all--I call them Mad Dashers since that's exactly what they do, as if no one will notice they didn't take time to even make an attempt at washing their hands.  Given this tendency, on my recent visit to England, I wondered what the hygiene would be like in the WCs here.  After a few trips to the loo, I was hopping on one leg from excitement.

MBN:  So, you're saying that UK men, at least the ones you saw, were more active vis-a-vis washing hands?

WEJ:  Oh, yes!  Most actually took the time to use soap!  AND water!  And they made use of the hand-drying machines quite liberally.  Perhaps this action results from the same brain process that compels Brits to drive on the wrong side of the road.

MBN:  What conclusions can you draw after this study?  Can you zip things up for us?

WEJ:  Well, first I can unequivocally say a person shaking hands with mates here have a much less chance of encountering embarrassing substances or rampant strands of nasty than those in the U.S.  Further, I believe that the typical Brit is less socially aware of the "Comparison Effect."  Despite the lack of obstructions around urinals, not to mention the fact that some are nothing more than troughs, British males appear to have no problem relieving themselves in front of strangers, unlike their U.S. counterparts who stand there for hours wondering if "his" measures up to those nearby.  They're a lot more cocksure.  It's clear to me that the use of toilet facilities is a cleaner and less stressful endeavor here in the U.K. 

MBN:  Thanks for your exhaustive research and insightful report, W.E.

WEJ:  Cheers!