There is no way I can adequately enumerate all the minor annoyances and major grievances I confront daily which convince me that God (*as currently worshipped, viewed, known by most of the major religions on this planet) doesn't exist.  But. . .BUT, I will list a few.  Feel free to add your own.  Perhaps we could establish a compendium for publication by the Southern Baptist Convention.  It could happen.

- Gnats and flies.  Yeah, yeah, I know they play some role in the larger picture of nature, but they suck. . .sometimes literally.  When I am pestered mowing the lawn, going for a run, on a long bike ride, taking out the garbage in my undies, or just trying to appear slightly sexy to the woman standing next to me on my deck as we swizzle some cheap ass white wine, those pests are living proof God has a nasty-ass-wicked sense of humor or he (*I'm going to use the masculine forms of pronouns and such to describe God because a) it's how I was taught, b) it's easier and less confusing to some--yes, someone may yell at me for not making God a she or it, but he or she can write his/her own blog, ok?)  screwed the pooch.  What's worse, I swear it's the same goddamned fly who follows me everywhere!

- Reality TV that starts with "The Real. . ." or indicates some number of children and/or family members in the title.  I readily confess to enjoying the guilty pleasure of SURVIVOR and the rambling content of the mad dash around the world of THE AMAZING RACE.  But, technically, these are game shows more than true reality TV.  I want to see someone wine $1M or some other (to me) obscene amount of money by screwing (usually figuratively not literally, though that'd be worth sitting through commercials now wouldn't it?) the other contestants.  I know people who watch the real housewives shows or Kim, Kate, Chloe, Canasta, Copper, and King Cobra Kardashian reality episodes, and I'm not one to judge. . .well, hell, I guess I do.  I don't get it.  Who cares what these people think?  Who cares how they run their lives?  Why do these people believe that because they're on TV, they have something important to say?  My God would NEVER allow such stuff.  Nope, he'd show reruns of CHEERS episodes ad nauseum.

- The NBA.  It's made up of some of the most immature, childish, and petulant adults on earth.  They get paid a vulgar amount of money to run back and forth, throw down a dunk, wave at someone while playing defense, dribble for three minutes until they get an open shot, and they wear the ugliest gangta tattoos when almost none of them has seen a day in a gang.  Yet, they still feel entitled to even more money, respect, and adoration.  No true god would invent basketball and let it go to hell like it has.  Nope, he'd create the Wide World of English Teachers and have them do a write-off on worldwide  TV. 

- Why the hell do we need spiders?  Oh, I know the easy answer is to catch flies, gnats, and other pests.  See above.  What kind of off-kilter omnipotent brain does it take to not realize that spiders will actually bite people?  And they're damn webs feel icky to boot.  The same stupidity can be cited for creating wasps (bees get a free ride thanks to their honey).  Geezus, what do they do worthwhile?  I'll tell you what they do:  sting me at the slightest provocation, such as walking by their damn nest.  Now, if God had created giant wasps to come down from flying saucers the size of Delware to sting Tea Partyers, then take them away to feed their population of nesting alien queen wasps, I'd change my opinion of God.

- Fat free foods.  I mean, c'mon!  Have you ever tried fat-free mayo?  Oh dear god, it sucks.  Same goes for fat-free sour cream, fat-free cheese, fat-free cheesecake, hell, fat-free anything (caveat:  that's supposed to be fatty).  Fat-free is a euphemism for abomination.  If God truly were smart, you think he could've come up with something a little better than making us ecstatic over a croissant slathered in brie (or camembert for you hoity-toitiers) while, meanwhile, ensuring our hearts' days are numbered for indulging. 

- Hell.  What a stupid, mean-spirited, dirty little mind trick that has been foisted upon us by generations of so-called spiritual leaders.  Oh, there is hell alright, but it's the condition of the planet; it's the squalor that billions of people live in worldwide; it's the ruthlessness of big corporations controlling our politics; it's the blind imams, rabbis, ministers, and priests who take us lemming-like over the cliff of superstitions and nonsensical guidance from "above."  No God who claims to be the Father would create a place for people to spend eternity suffering--it's such an unfathomable idea, and it angers me to see people blindly swallow such pabulum, forced down their throats by men and women of the cloth.  If God is so angry with some of us most suffer eternal damnation, then he isn't a fit parent. . .and certainly not worthy of praise nor adoration.

- Rush Limbaugh.  'Nuff said.