DECEMBER 27, 2013 5:01AM

Open Letter To The City of Kent

Dear Residents of Kent and Patrons of the Kent Branch of the King County Library,

The "No Smoking" signs located over 25 feet from the doorways, windows that open, or air intake shafts here at the library have NO EFFECT OF LAW whatsoever, and choosing to smoke a cigarette around,about, next to… Read full post »

#1 - Let's start out with the obvious - you never see them in the same place at the same time.

#2 - Both like to show off their chests.


#3 - Both gratuitiously use tits to sell records.

Hey, what's this?  Dolly Parton standing behind a treeRead full post »

As we all know, the ACA (aka Obamacare) has barred health insurers from declining anyone health insurance based on a pre-existing health condition.

Yay, Obamacare!!!

What the law fails to do, however, is stop health insurers from declining any0ne based on pretty much anything else.

Also, it has no pr… Read full post »

OCTOBER 4, 2013 3:33PM

What The Fuck I Was Thinking

Getting the money, which won't actually immediately end my current situation, but which will catapult its end forward a month ahead of schedule (I figure I got another week of this shit remaining), has been more troublesome than I would have liked.

The transaction to sell my miles was easy enough… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 30, 2013 11:00AM

What The Fuck Was I Thinking?!?!?!?

I have 50,000 airline miles on one of my frequent flier accounts...that I can sell...for more than enough to buy a work van and end this ridiculous homeless chapter of my life.

How the hell didn't I think of this before?  I may also have enough hotel points left on my… Read full post »

Over the last few days I've been using a poor combination of shoe and sock.  That combination, combined with all the walking I've been doing since being homeless, has lead to a lot of blistering on my feet.

I've since corrected the shoe issue by changing shoes, and the sock issue… Read full post »

Drugs have been a part of my life since I was given the freedom to make my own choices on any substantive level.

The first time I was able to drink alcohol, unfettered, I got as drunk as I possibly fucking could, and I cannot eat Pizza Hut Sausage Pizza to this dayRead full post »
SEPTEMBER 12, 2013 7:43AM

My Ex - The Useless Twat

Seriously, would it have killed you to try the costume just the one time?
So, it turns out my ex-girlfriend, whom I nearly asked to marry me, is about as useful as a
Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 10, 2013 9:46AM

My Mom - The Bitch

My mother has been kinda losin' it since she began menopause.

I always forgave her, her mostly harmless faults, though, because she was raped at the onset of puberty, she was blamed for the rape by her sadistic cunt of a mother (no one cried when grandma died), and I almostRead full post »
SEPTEMBER 6, 2013 6:50AM

It's Gotta Be The Shoes

 So, as it turns out, the hardest thing about being homeless is not having an appropriate place to take off your shoes.  Or, it has been for me, anyway.  Being homeless means you do a lot of walking ( can't get hassled for loitering if you're moving), and afterRead full post »
MAY 6, 2013 3:49AM


Plan B availability has not resulted in a decrease in unintended pregnancy because women don't use it after every unprotected sexual encounter

Plan B should not be used as regular birth control

Hold up.  You're tellin' me it d
Read full post »

As one of four people in the world who like Kriss Kross (or, at least don't dislike their music at all) as well as Slayer, I feel that I should point out that Slayer's seminal third album, Reign in Blood, was released on the Def Jam label afterRead full post »

APRIL 26, 2013 9:45AM

An Open And Shit Case

Not really a case - half a sixer at best...

These are the Top 3 greatest opening scenes from otherwise horrible movies

3.  Star Wars - The Phantom Menace

The rest of this movie was an ungodly piece of shit, but this first scene showed every Star Wars fan in… Read full post »



Today, I had my civil rights violated by The US Federal Marshals.


After I woke up, I walked the dog, took a shower, and then headed out to Puyallup to pick up the remaining railroad ties I had paid to have cut so that IRead full post »

Just a joke.  Don't read too much into it.
FEBRUARY 28, 2013 6:09AM

You're Banning The Wrong Guns

Assault rifles are used in approximately 3% of murders involving guns in America.   Other rifles and shotguns are used in ~8% of murders involving guns in this country.

And, the rest?

The other 89%?

Her breasts - 89% manufactured

What kind of gun do civilians in America… Read full post »

DECEMBER 31, 2012 10:03AM

The More On Christmas



I was listening to a lot of Christmas music this year, and this song, that I hadn't listened to in years, struck a chord with me, so to speak, for the first time in my life.

I like to give hippies a hard time, if only because of… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 28, 2012 3:03AM

Masters Of The Universe

bruce cool
Happy Birthday Jimi Hendrix (70) and Bruce Lee (72).  Nothin' I can say that seeing these boys in action can't say better.
Read full post »
NOVEMBER 27, 2012 7:15AM

A Proposal To One Mr. Sugarman


I Photoshopped out the ads and condensed the locations of the important elements, but everything that remains is real, and really what this website value calculator popped out.


I understand that the goodwill of the name still carries some weight, so I offer you… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 18, 2012 2:01AM

Ditch The Commune, Keep Your Sight

Here's the problem - writing is selfish.  In engaging in this activity, you are saying, "Hey!  Listen to me.  My ideas are more important than yours are, my creativity more profound, my prose more beautiful and poignant."

If you write for a community, go join aRead full post »

NOVEMBER 17, 2012 1:07PM

Twinkies & Cockroaches

Dear Ignorant Christians and Ignorant Non-Christians,

Since we're getting close to a time when talk of the end of days will be dominating our existence, I thought you would both like to know that Armageddon is not an event, but a place at which an event has been
Read full post »




Everyone forgets that Seattle hasn't always been the land of Grunge and Coffee.  We were almost Detroit.

I used to be a little bit down on this site, probably due to the fact that I've been booted from it, for no good reason, more… Read full post »

Dear Washington State Stoners,

Please remember that despite any statewide vote that did or did not pass, cannabis (in all its forms) will remain ILLEGAL on December 6th, 2012. Ya see, there's this pesky clause in The US Constitution called the Supremacy Clause which gives the federal
Read full post »
NOVEMBER 3, 2012 1:42AM

Campaigning From The Pump

The day immediately following Hurricane Katrina, gas prices soared $.40 a gallon in many places, finally putting gasoline above the $3 mark, largely to stay.

And then along comes Sandy, and gas prices are falling immediately following this massive storm's destruction of the East Coast.


OCTOBER 30, 2012 12:17AM

War on Nature

Mother Nature, this is your end.
We will fight you in the Mesosphere so we don't have to fight you in the Troposphere.
If we don't do this now, the next smoking gun just might be a cloud.
America, we are mobilizing for Operation Storm.