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JULY 28, 2010 4:28PM

Sex Tips for Married Men

Rate: 59 Flag

Best Western 

 

I don’t listen to my married friends anymore when they complain about their sex lives.  I just tune out and think of less boring things, such as Jay Leno jokes, the speeches of Senator Harry Reid, or the décor in my accountant’s office.

In fact, I refuse to listen to their droning, melancholy, self-pitying twaddle.  If they persist, I’ll make an effort to change the subject.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll turn on them.  “Yes, you’re right.  Your inability to bed your wife does make you less of a man.  If I were you, I wouldn’t talk about it, lest others think you pathetic.”

Why am I short on sympathy?  Do I lack fidelity toward my most particular companions?  Quite the contrary.  I have been an excellent source of practical wisdom.  I have offered counsel general and specific, from the universally-effective, to the custom-tailored.  I have provided many karats of sparkling insight and uncounted troy ounces of weighty guidance to bolster my mates’ precious mettle.

I have done everything in my power to help, short of performing, myself, the seduction of and foreplay with their wives, as a kind of warm-up act. 

The fact is that most married men wouldn’t know sound boudoir advice if it bit them in a sensitive place.  Or, at least, they won’t listen to it.  It’s easier to piss and moan, and to wear their sexuality like a frayed, lead-lined old bathrobe. 

To be clear, the friends of whom I speak are healthy men in their prime, married to healthy women in their prime.  Neither age, nor infirmity, nor illness is the culprit.  More likely, it’s sheer laziness.  They say they want connubial communion.  But they have forgotten a fundamental rule of manhood: 

If you want something, never expect it to be presented to you on a serving platter.  Go get it.  Hunt it down.  Make it yours.  Earn it.

 

When a man wants something - really wants it - he employs all his powers and skills.  Even if that requires that we stoop to an unmanly stratagem, such as thinking, or prior planning, or subtlety.

There are no excuses.  Yes, I know you’ve been married for years.  I realize that you have busy lives, with work, kids and other irritants.  Yes, it does take two to tango.  So make the dance interesting and attractive to your wife.  I’ve seen you rearrange and overturn your whole life in single-minded effort to make it to a golf tournament.  You can do this.

Here, then, are some of the things a man can do to induce intercourse with his wife.

***

Banish the world:  My friend Rodney regularly treats his wife Celia like a mistress.  He arranges for babysitting, then meets Celia at hotels fine and motels not - for a weekend, or a night or a couple of hours of illicit sex. 

When leaving home is not an option, he orders Celia out of the house and insists she spend some time doing something she enjoys - something that is not associated with domesticity and motherhood, such as shoe shopping, basketball with her friends, visiting an art gallery, or having a massage.  Rodney makes dinner for their daughter, puts her to bed early, and my largest, most macho friend festoons the master bath and bedroom with candles, and prepares his wife a bubble bath. 

He does this all the damn time.  It works, all the damn time.  Rodney is a very married man who remembers how to think like a single man.

Throw a changeup:  Smart lovers, like smart pitchers, keep you guessing when they approach the mound.  Keep throwing the same fastballs, you’re going to get shelled and sent back to the minors.  I know too many married men for whom game day is a replay of the same day, all season long.  Put some art and science into it!  Study the game and its rhythms.  Add to your repertoire and try some experiments.  Change the pace and placement, and revel in the results.

I was on vacation with a girlfriend, in southern climes.  We’d befriended the couple in the next cabana at our resort.  Both psychiatrists, married for 15 years.  After dinner and drinks, we’d retired to our respective lodgings.  As my girlfriend and I undressed and eyed each other in predatory fashion, we heard a loud commotion from next door.  After many minutes of incomprehensible noises, a clear, feminine voice piped, “Oh, my God!  What the Hell was that?”  The reply was inaudible.  Then:  “Well, do it again!  Now!” 

Simply brilliant.

Embrace a little risk:  Perhaps the best marriage I’ve ever seen is that of Dave and Marcy.  They’ve been together a long time.  Dave is a plump little man, and Marcy is a plump little woman.  They are happier people than anyone else I know, and they have more conjugal relations than anyone else I know.  It’s quite inspiring, really.  A couple of years ago, they hit a dry patch.  Both busy and distracted by work.  The sex tapered off.

On a business trip, Marcy committed a faux pas.  She got tipsy and made out in a jazz lounge with a much younger medical student who had attended her lecture.  Later, she confessed, not without remorseful tears, to her husband.  Dave, displaying wisdom and penetrating insight, did not react predictably.  He understood that the student’s attention made his wife feel smart and sexy.  He understood that the incident was harmless – and more than that, presented opportunity.  He raised an eyebrow and accused Marcy (correctly) of the sin of horniness.  He then stripped her, spanked her bottom, and applied additional “punishment” for her “transgression”. 

They were immediately back in their groove.  Now, when I dine at their home, if Marcy wears something low-cut and flirts with me when she pours the wine, I return the compliment - but always leave before coffee.  Marcy and Dave are doing their thing.  God bless ‘em.

***

I have no time for my sad-sack, whiny married friends.  They are competent, even brilliant at many things in their lives, from work, to charity, to the playing field.  They will research a stock investment, or a new car, or a golf club for weeks before they pull the trigger.

Sex seldom simply presents itself to a man, single or married.  At least not the good kind of sex.  Getting it consistently requires some combination of effort, ingenuity, inventiveness and panache.

Given that it’s the thing men profess to want above nearly all other things, you’d think they’d be prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve their objective.

Or, they could continue to bore me with their sad and lame complaints.  I love you, guys.  Really.  But here’s a cookie and your pajamas.  Would you like me to tuck you in, little fellas?

  

Now saying odd things on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ManTalkNow

 

So, who's got some more useful tips for the poor sods? Please share!

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And what advice would you give to a woman who wanted 3am sex, woke her husband up in a nice fashion, had sex and then was told the next day it was a mini-rape as he was not fully aware? Ouch. I no longer rape. I keep my 3am escapades to solo ventures now.

Your advice is great. But it flows the other direction when the woman is not a shy one, and I am not shy.
well you are a brave soul
Amen. May the deity of your choice bless you. And, just for good measure, Hallelujah!

(And yes, I am blessed enough that I don't have to pass this lovely bit of writing on to anyone as a hint...)
Indeed, the little fellas do enjoy being tucked in.
Tellin' it like it is. I would expect nothing less from you.
"Getting it consistently requires some combination of effort, ingenuity, inventiveness and panache."
Yes indeed - great tips, MTN!
(eyein' blog image)
Best Western? hmmm ...

(R) for dispellin' the myth that wives are like porn actresses (or so a friend told me ... about the porn actresses, not my wife ... unless [light bulb on] ... )
Yeah . . . a lot of truth there . . .
I must be on a roll. I'm hitting a double every time I hit the rate button today. Enough about lil' ol' me, HOOrah! for YOU! I feel the same way when the girls whine --- get 'single minded' and start treating him like the guy who got away. Works every damn time.
all good tips. one caveat: there are a lot of men who make noise about wanting sex and complaining their wives aren't interested; often their wives are the ones asking and the men too busy, too tired, too ... but they'd never admit that to a fellow male. some of the talk is, um, just talk. just sayin'.
So you're saying I should stop serving it up on a platter and actually make him work for it? Damn. I've been doing this wrong.
You are one smart guy. Good for you! Keep indoctrinating the youngin's whenever you can, the next generation needs to get it. R
'basketball with her friends?'

hmmm... sound advice. Do believe I'll stay single though sir.
Cindy Ross and CrazeCzar are brilliant.
why am i starting to think yr not married and never have been, or all this "i'm a man" thing is a come on and you have a dick with 8,000 nerves in it.
I always thought that role-playing could be fun as long as the parties are willing. Then there is pure spontaneous action. Hmm.
Next, chocolate whip cream in a can - women cannot resisit chocolate. I really think that if the couple have a good communicative realtionship - they could come to some sort of agreement to try something new. The possibilities are endless and there are all kinds of idea makers out there. Thanks for the post - very interesting writing. Smile - Jali.
I don't quite get alfiuweou oiufoewuio's comments, but the rest rock.

I sincerely believe that the prime reason so many couples drift into dry relationships is that they forget to do the things they did for each other at the beginning. Back when they weren't so sure they were gonna get any.
wow, after all that trouble/work/seduction I might as well just get a mistress. I hear they dont complain as much as wives, who seem to complain more every year....
ps if there was ever a doubt that Man Talk Now is a pseudonym for a woman with p*nis envy, all doubt is over.
Great Post. Glad you got a ep for it!
Well MTN, I'm almost astounded. There are books and magazine articles galore expounding on this to no end, always advice to women on how to keep their men. The worst of them all: "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" compliments of Woman's Day. My sister said to me years ago: "Foreplay begins first thing in the morning." Like Dave and Marcy, I think she and her husband knew something important about sex and intimacy that me and mine didn't. Hats off to you for your essay on sex and equality.
What was Dave thinking? Spare the rod and spoil the woman!

When will Marcy be at the Best Western again? I wouldn't mind pouring her the next glass of wine.
I'm so glad this made the cover. :)
Love it!! You are now my favorite....too bad the poor slugs won't listen. But if they did, what would they have to moan about with such passion?
Well, shoot, you have information. :)

-R-
Oh, this one's easy. Unload the dishwasher the first time she asks, rather than calling her a nag fifteenth time she asks. Better yet, unload the dishwasher before she asks. Done.
I would have to concur that this all excellent advice for adults of all or any orientation or persuasion.
You should teach a class: Don't Myth Out On Marital Sex.
Retablo, I'm not unacquainted with my writing being BS (and worse), but this one I'll stand behind.

Linnnn, I would love to teach a class. But not for men. And not if faculty-student mixing were prohibited. ;)

Scarlett, you think this would apply equally to other genders/orientations? I'm not disputing it, mind you.

Mrs. Michaels, I adore you, but you are promoting an oft-repeated myth. Doing housework will not get a married man the lovemaking he desires. At the outside, it may make a woman feel obligated enough (or badgered enough: "Honey, come on! I unloaded the dishwasher...") to... give in. To "trade". But it won't earn him the real sex he wants.

Women aren't that simple. Men should be sharing some of the load around the house anyway. If you want a woman to be sexy with you, you have to help her (or get out of her way and let her?) feel sexy.

Those who promote the "men who do housework are sexy" myth are generally... just trying to get a man to do housework.
Routine....habit....no imagination. These things kill sexual intimacy. Your post is well written, practical and simply right on!

Great post and a well, well deserved EP.
Wonderful post. Right on the mark. Many men no nothing about how to treat or romance a woman. Many won't be bothered.
Very sound and sexy advice. And simple. And salacious.

Sex is a beautiful ongoing and unfolding dance.
Hey, I just try and step out of my bubble and think a little more universally. Any gesture of love or romance could be appreciated I would think (or hope). Straight men maybe complain more about this type of thing. I haven't heard it mind you, but I'm not a guy.

I'm a straight woman and the first thing I did after I read this was turn to my partner (not that he's complaining) and say, "you should read this." Good tips al around, especially about the candles.

At this age, lighting makes all the difference.
my eyes have read pure wisdom in this post. my heart tells me to accept the fact that a beautiful woman can love me; together we are one in the desires of love.
My god, you've sunk to Cosmo level with this one. There are many reasons married couples aren't enjoying sex -- kids, in-laws, bills, quiet desperation and the bitter truth that familiarity all too often does breed contempt.

Your advice may provide temporary respite from this harsh reality, but these suggestions are hardly a cure. So let me give you some advice: single people should never presume to give married people advice about how to maintain a successful long-term relationship.
It's always about less talk, more action. Throw a changeup is right. The thing that frustrates me most is the complaint that it's hard to understand what we want. The second a man figures something out the woman wants something different. Yes, different is good.

I can't remember the last time a man said he wanted pot roast every night for the rest of his life. It's not easy to come up with a hundred ways to make hamburger interesting, but women put a lot of effort into it. It's possible to zone out during boring sex and realize you weren't present for a few minutes. What a horrid feeling, especially after a day of drudgery. Bummer when the sex is more drudgery.

Women like fireworks!
I respectfully disagree with Tom - perhaps as a single man he is actually well positioned to offer ideas. Many of the things that people do when they are dating/unmarried are the most important things to a relationship, and quick to disappear after vows. Successful couples, single or married, keep acting like they're dating - in the ways that matter. Single folks simply may miss how challenging this is to do - but it's not impossible!
a woman somewhere,

Should I send you my address now or tomorrow? It is almost 3am.
I admire from a safe distance the exquisite happiness of marriage!
I'm always amazed when I hear these stories. As someone who cannot keep her hands off her man, who would be in bed 24/7 if not for the world outside, who loves sex and everything that goes along with it, I find it sad that married couples lose the magic.
It could be due to sex drives, but I know a lot of women out there, especially now that we're in our prime--40s--who are more than eager to bed our mates.
Pitch-perfect post!
Awesome--and true!! I see it flowing the other way too with my girlfriends who are married. Your guy friends are lucky to hear from you...you might be saving their marriages!
this should be tattooed in large type on every mans forearm. the one he looks at. so he doesn't forget. we're not maids or companion animals or the laundromat.
warm, funny & goodhumoured! congrats, well-deserved ed pick.
You're oversimplifying things. Yes, I'm aware of the novelty book "Pornography for Married Women," that features men vacuuming and mopping. This isn't about that fantasy. This is about men paying attention when their women talk, and responding appropriately.

I know you don't see why it matters whether you do something the first time you're asked rather than the fifteenth. Accept that it matters. Accept that what you're telling your loved one is, I hear you, and I want to do this because I know when I ask you to do things, you generally do. I also know that nothing dampens your ardor quite like doing housework while I'm watching whatever sport is currently in season, then telling you about how today would be a great day to run out to the lake."

It's easy to have fun doing fun things with your spouse. It's better to be able to have fun doing mundane chores with your spouse.
FLW,

I think the after 40 thing has to do with modern living, aka stress.

Now the kids are gone, I make more money, I work smart not hard, I realize I don't have to keep up with the Jone's. Now I have the time to spend quality time with you and since you are hitting your sexual peak, why shouldn't I spend my extra time doing what you now enjoy more than you did years ago?
I have an excellent rapport with my lover. Sensuality is where it's at, my friends. I'm very confident with my sexuality and I've learned that being a whore in bed helps tremendously.
gawd this was great. if only my husband would be willing to do half the ideas in this post. one of the reasons i hesitated about marrying again was the fear of married sex. now that we have married sex, with all the monotony that goes with it, and after years of trying to get him to try new things, i've given up.
Truly it takes two to tango! I've found men lazy in that department, and you've written, then wonder why the "thrill is gone"! Great words of wisdom! R
There are so many of these, hmm, what to call them~~sexual losers?
I'm 71. I've never been this old before.
I have never used or needed viagra or those things.
I think those who are sexually frustrated deserve to be so in a large part.
That's even if their "part' isn't large.lol
I'm happily born again single.
I have a nice sex life.
Probably because getting laid is not my main focus.
Now, since I'm 71, I realize that there may cum, er, come a day when I can no longer cut the mustard however, I will ALWAYS be able to lick the jar.
Through my life sexperiences, I have found that what is the #1 key to it all is treating a woman in a way so that she is cumfortable about herself and being with me.
This includes making her laugh.
Don't you just enjoy a good laugh before, during or after sex? It's relaxing.
One thing that I enjoy is afterplay and, it seems that nobody ever talks about it.
What makes you women feel better, a guy who gets off and gets up or a man who stays there with you for at least a little while to let you know he is paying attention to you, the person?

None of what I said above is bullshit.
It isn't that I've tried to be a 'special" guy.
Rather it is that I've found life is so much more fun being like that.
THANK YOU!!!! My partner and I have an occasional dry spell, followed by a 'why can't we have more sex' discussion - well, if we didn't seem to have the SAME sex every time, maybe we'd do it more often!

Bless you - I'm sure you're saving dozens of women from boredom this weekend.
Wonderful food for thought. Now to take this "food" and put it into action.
Mrs. Michaels:

1. I suspect you're right about my oversimplifying things. I do that sometimes. Alright, a lot.
2. Don't get all arch with me! I do, in fact, see "why it matters whether you do something the first time you're asked rather than the fifteenth". Frankly, I think that goes without saying. Who wants to be the slob husband from all those dumb sitcoms (all of which are exactly the same, by the way)?
3. Yes, it is good to be able to have fun doing mundane things with your spouse. One mark of a successful marriage, I would think.
4. You say it's easy to have fun doing fun things with your spouse. Fair enough. But let me come back to the point of my post: You'd better do the fun things in the first place. My observation is that the married guys I hear doing the most bitching are putting in the least thought and effort - over the thing they say they want most.
5. What are we arguing about, anyway?
6. If we're arguing as a kind of intellectual foreplay, then I'm in. ;)
I'd be remiss if I didn't tip my hat to those like fingerlakeswanderer, Belinda T, Brianna and a woman somewhere. Your husbands are very fortunate. In conversations over potent beverages, men everywhere refer to your kind as the "holy grail".

Tom Cordle accurately accuses me of pulling a "Cosmo". He said that because he's smart, and because the SOB thinks he has every right to call me on it. Which, admittedly, he does. I'm going to get my own back by calling him a crusty old fart and asking if he's never heard of newer crap aimed at men, such as FHM and Maxim.

Ben Sen and vzn question my manhood. God, will this never end? My bio here, "I'm a man", is the most concise truth I've ever told. (Not everything that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis may be "strictly" true. And most of what comes out of my mouth on a daily basis keeps people busy collecting antonyms for "concise".)

The question was asked, whether a single man should be offering advice to married men. No, I suppose not. Yet, I went and did it anyway. You listen to enough of their whining, you either hit them with a bike chain or you rant on for a thousand words on a silly blog. Next time, I'm thinking bike chain.
While I think the advice here is of some limited usefulness, I think it ignores two fundamental realities.

1) There just are not that many different ways to have sex. Most of the 'trying something different' are simply changes of venue, circumstance or timing.

Furthermore, once one has tried some of the more obvious variations ("Let's do it in the kitchen instead of the bedroom"...), the time and effort required to 'keep it fresh' goes up considerably (as shown by Rodney mentioned in the article). At some point, effort vs. reward calculations do enter the picture.

2) All of the efforts to 'keep it fresh' are fighting against biochemical inevitability. When lovers are new to each other, they don't need the bubble bath, candles or leather teddy. They'll aardvark like there's no tomorrow even if they're stuck in a one-room apartment.

But sexual attraction is a cocktail of brain chemicals, and like any other drug our brains develop a tolerance to it. Candles, leather teddies and the like are our attempts to use the excitement of novelty to bypass this tolerance, but it is is a losing battle long term.

That's not to say that sex with a long-term partner isn't enjoyable and even 'hawt' from time to time. But people who believe that they can sustain the mad attraction of the early relationship are setting themselves up for disappointment.

This reminds me of a joke - The Five Kinds of Sex.

The Five Kinds of Sex:

Smurf Sex - You're new lovers so you'll do it until you're blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex - You've been together a little while, but you'll still have sex almost anywhere anytime.

Bedroom Sex - You've been together a while and now there are kids, so the sex stays behind the bedroom door.

Hallway Sex - You yell "F**k you!" at each other when you pass in the hallway

Courtroom Sex - You get together in a courtroom and watch your respective divorce lawyers try to f**k each other over.
Oh my god I love you. Perfect. My favorite, I think.

Now.....hmm...where to put this where it will be found.

(Is stapling it to his forehead while he is sleeping too obvious?)
@Buzz Lightyear: I disagree. I think your comment, well-argued though it is, may be overly-pessimistic.

Better still, there's some SCIENCE that supports my way of thinking. I recall reading a couple of years ago about some interesting research done at SUNY Stony Brook, regarding the effects of novelty on marital satisfaction.

The study compared two groups of couples. The control group scheduled standard "date nights". The "treatment" group scheduled date nights built around shared new experiences. Nothing fancy - hiking, dancing, sports, attending a play - anything they didn't normally do.

The couples doing new things together reported higher levels of marital satisfaction at the end of the study. The theory is (back to your drug metaphor) that new experiences (and maybe a little uncertainty or risk?) trigger the release of dopamine and norepinephrine. Doing these things together as a couple seems to help people continue to see their partner as exciting and interesting, even after many years together.

Anecdotally, that squares with what I hear from my happily-married and not-bored friends.

All I'm suggesting is that the same concept extends to the bedroom. And more importantly, if you want something bad enough, you'll be inventive and clever at getting it. Seems to me to be the manly thing to do.
Persephone, hi! Good to see you.

The way I see it, there's no reason a woman can't take the initiative. How about something as simple as, "Darling, if you do ____, or ____, or ____, you can expect ____, and ____, and ____."?

That'd work on me, and I'm not even married. Hell, it's already working on me! (I need to go through my contact list. Weekend's almost here.)
Ah. ...

I should have been more clear.

I AM the seducer...the runner of baths, the giver of massages, the bringer of champagne and notes to meet me at hotels...as well as the direct approach of showing up in a corset and saying I would dearly love to have his naughty bits in my mouth.

I'm just...wishing it would happen to me more often.

We are BOTH tired...I'm just..trying not to be married...and he's very concerned with lawncare.

I wish I inspired.
Wolfitz:

1. I am not Stellaa.

2. Therefore, you cannot antagonize me with lists.

3. How kind of you to agree.

4. Dessert comes after the main course precisely because otherwise the main course would never happen. And your friends do not reflect well on you.

5. How to get a woman in bed for the thousandth time. We’re arguing strategy , as opposed to whether. We appear to be in accord, that this is a worthy goal.

6. See Answer 5(b).
Any ideas why my post on the buzz got deleted? Too boring, too long, too opinionated, or too commercial? Well I don't charge for information or for the teaser on the buzz which I put up and took down again. as for the rest well? I just thought it was a great idea, and very sexy.
Wow! You are a true Venusian! You really GET this. As a woman who ADORES sex, I wish my former husband got it! Here's something else to add: Don't make rules for the bedroom that you want your wife to follow and then expect her to make all the moves. Instead, the bedroom should be the place of retreat where ANYTHING goes!!! Sex starts in the mind, not in the body.
And, turn off that damn computer guys and stop trying to get virtual sex with women who are trying to do the same with you! Get your REAL hot and bothered body next to that warm goddess that would be MORE that happy to reciprocate! Otherwise, what's the point? And Tom? You need to re-think your life. Geez, you've only got one, you better live it and enjoy it, or change it. I did.
@Man Talk Now

Re: "I disagree. I think your comment, well-argued though it is, may be overly-pessimistic."

Oh, heck no! I can get a LOT more pessimistic (with justification) than that....:-D...

Yes, adventure and excitement make relationships more fun and "interesting" (in both senses of the word).

I'm really curious how long the study you mentioned ran. I can see where over the course of month or a few years, the results would hold true. But over the longer term, I'm still betting on drug tolerance winning out.

Furthermore, this pursuit of "excitement" can lead to some really questionable decisions, such as Open Salon's own Beth Mann sleeping with a guy she KNEW to be a narcissistic psychopath...

http://open.salon.com/blog/beth_mann/2009/10/27/kissing_my_devil_goodbye_one_last_time

But then again, I am a high-amplification highly drug-tolerant quasi-autistic pattern seeker, so my mileage tends to vary quite a bit from most peoples'....;-D...
Sage advice. Who likes whiners and complainers anyway? After 46 years with the same wonderful wife, I can testify that romancing the lady always works wonders.
I get all the sex I want, plus he cooks and does laundry and pays the bills and maintains the cars! - and he does it cheerfully, because I make it a point, every day, to let him know how I appreciate him -- how I *notice* him, in a hundred different ways - the cool way his triceps flex when he doesn't even try; the way he conditions the leather of his car seats to keep them looking nice, the way he stirs the pitcher of margaritas with a vanilla bean, how lovely it is to sleep in fresh clean sheets he just washed, how sexy his abs look when he's walking around in his boxers, the way clients find his calm listening manner so reassuring. I compliment him all the time - they are real compliments, not just saying 'nice things'. I trained myself to notice and appreciate and EXPRESS that appreciation, and it has made my life a sexy, happy place to be.

I also leave little cards for him all over the place - usually with x-rated content, but often a love note. He has a whole drawer full of them. When I come home from a trip, there are always 2 or 3 of them on the nightstand. He reads them while I am away.

Nothing is sexier than being appreciated for who you are.
Sandra, your comment made me laugh - then stop suddenly, because I had a small insight - then laugh again.

You made me think of the way I'd like lottery winners to be.

We hear so many horror stories about people who win millions, then piss it all away on foolishness, and have lasting tales of regret. With the media's help, we file these stories under "Be careful what you wish for...".

The stories I want to hear are about the people of modest means who won the lottery... and it genuinely made their lives nice. And they managed it well. And they enjoyed and appreciated it every day. And maybe they used some of the money to create a foundation or a scholarship that helps others.

I want to hear the stories about people who got lucky and, devoid of hubris, recognized their good fortune, enjoyed it and appreciated it fully.

That sounds like what you have. I suspect, too, if we were to hear from your husband, the report would be similar from the other side.
Sandra..you said a mouthful. I do that too...and I do it simply because its so fun to notice and point out what is good and fine and beautiful.

The benefits to that are lovely...but I would do it without them.
Well, here's some actual wisdom if any of you want it.

It's actually very simple, and it's summed up in the biblical phrase from Genesis that God put "enmity between her seed and his seed."

Now that's actually the truth of life, not the "fantasy" that everyone (including the author of this post) tries to sell you, often to try and make money of the natural disconnect and conflict that exists between man and woman. Ironically, once you figure this out you will actually understand what is going on a lot better.

There's no "great sex" on earth, even though you think there is. If you think there is then you don't know what great sex really is.

What a man needs to do is get himself right with God first, and then God will make clear everything else. You'll understand, and your relationships will make more sense and, more importantly, you'll understand what you will be gaining in the life to come.

Heaven is not a place on earth. Heaven is actually in heaven for a reason.
If my husband had been anything like that we would still be married.
I'm fucking awesome. When I haven't fallen off my sexual horse and been knocked out, or hit a brick wall of sexual defeat.
I'm there , I'm organic, I'll do it inside, outside, on the table,couch,porch step,step porch, washing machine{running}, floor,any floor, car seat,{please use that lever and give me more room}.any room, every room.
I'll dress up,down,or butt nothing.
I want lube sold in barrels with a pump, is that so much to ask.
Shoes are my new lingerie , they stay on longer.
I've ejaculated like a man in orgasmic bliss and by God I'll do it again. Girl's got to have a goal.