Man Talk Now's Blog

Testosterone Ain't Hormone Pollution
OCTOBER 26, 2011 12:46AM

Listen, Ladies: Dicks Are It! (for menopausal flushing)

Rate: 17 Flag

Dix  

 

One of the great benefits of being an Open Salon member is the exposure one has to informed medical opinion. I learn a great deal on this site, about various illnesses and conditions and the therapies that treat them. Today was no exception.

 

Open Salon’s own doctorwascher is apparently a cancer surgeon and professor, as well as an author who spends a fair amount of time breaking ground. This is clear, because his posts include the following enthusiastic descriptions of his writing:

 

 

Dr. Wascher's Groundbreaking Evidence-Based Book On Cancer Prevention Is Written For All Health-Conscious Readers, And Is Available Now. Buy Now From Amazon Or Barnes and Noble. 

And: 

For a groundbreaking overview of cancer risks, and evidence-based strategies to reduce your risk of developing cancer, order your copy of my new book, “A Cancer Prevention Guide for the Human Race,” from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Vroman’s Bookstore, and other fine bookstores!  

Anyway, tonight Dr. Wascher turned his attention to an issue that sometimes affects ladies of a certain age. His post Treatment of Hot Flashes Associated with Menopause details clinical drug trial results showing that the antidepressant Effexor and the blood pressure medication clonidine are effective in reducing the severity and frequency of hot flashes.

 

While I know this information may be of value to others, it has no direct relevance to me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. In fact, I’m paying close attention. Because it turns out that the medicine that goes by the generic name “clonidine” is also known by the brand name “Dixarit”.

 

That’s right. Doctors prescribe this medicine for ladies of a certain age, who experience certain symptoms. Dixarit, for menopausal flushing. Dixarit. Say it with me, won’t you?

 

It seems Dixarit has been around since the 1960s. I can’t help imagining that one Friday afternoon, decades ago, some Madison Avenue worthy gathered his inferiors for a brainstorming session to come up with a brand name for a new drug. I can’t help imagining, also, that cocktails may have been consumed at that time.

 

“What’s the drug for?” asks a junior man with carefully slicked hair.

 

“Menopausal flushing,” says the man with the big office.

 

“What the heck is that?” asks a guy with a skinny tie.

 

“It’s a woman problem,” says the man with the big office, raising another martini to the sensuous lips on an (appropriately) flushed face.

 

“A woman problem?” says Slicked-Hair, grinning. “Well you know what women need, right?”

 

“I’ve been told I know exactly what women need,” says the man with the big office.

 

“Uneedabone!” ejaculates Skinny-Tie.

 

The man with the big office frowns. “Look, that’s a little bit funny, and I don’t mind crude. But maybe we can be a little more subtle and… a little more artful.”

 

“What if we did it in French?" countered Skinny-Tie. "We could call it 'Bone for woman'... Ospourfemme. That sounds classy."

 

“Americans don’t like foreign things, like foreign languages, and foreigners,” growls the man with the big office.

 

“I’ve got it!” says Slicked-Hair, wiping dribbled beverage off his lapel. “Dewminow!”

 

The man with the big office runs his hand through his hair and drains his glass. “You guys aren’t seeing the long view.”

 

He places his glass on the table with exaggerated care and rises slowly to his feet. He saunters to the big office window and looks out over the gleaming city. His underlings gaze in silence upon the back of a figure silhouetted against the white glare of a clouded afternoon.

 

“We have an opportunity to make a statement,” says the man with the big office, his words and breath bouncing off the pane. “We’ve been given the rare chance to say something that will echo through generations, every time a woman is told what to do about a woman problem.”

 

The big man turns to face his lessers, and leans against the glass. He pulls a crumpled pack from his pocket, and shakes out a cigarette. He fires his cigarette and squints through the smoke.

 

“The drug will be called Dixarit,” he says, smiling. “It’s all they need to know. And they’ll never forget it.”

 

Skinny-Tie and Slicked-Hair glance at each other, then back at the man with the big office. Once again, they’re reminded why he occupies the big office.

  

Now saying odd things on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ManTalkNow    

 

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Comments

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Were those the good old days?
Yup, all a woman needs is a dick and an anti-depressant, usually in that order.
Mrs. Peel, all I'll ever need is you, your well-honed tongue (in the more polite and proper verbal sense) and your wonderful avatar.
What a coincidence! I was just about to congratulate you on your EP when what comes leaping out the barn door but this vastly superior and timely piece on a subject most women will have to deal with at some point in their lives. And there's no underestimating the power of a good title; it certainly had my formerly slouching self sit erect and take notice.

Humorous yes, but the tension quickly builds and once you thrust deeper, one discovers it's a sly poke at how marketers and the medical community can sneak up behind women and perpetrate a fast one. So to speak.

This has it all; yes it starts out a little turgidly but it's ultimately hard-hitting, gets the job done in an efficient yet leisurely in and out manner, satisfies the need to know, doesn't end prematurely and most importantly, doesn't taint the good work of our own Dr. Wascher. I'm so excited I can hardly stop! Raving about this, I mean.

Thank you and now I'm going to have a cigarette.
Pass the ashtray........

ᴼᴥƪ
.
All I need is pie and some soda pop and non-stop coverage of women's basketball!!!

Life is good right now!!!
You could run this up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes?
As I am in the throes of the Big M, and am experiencing the e
flashes, this spoke to me directly. Yup, all we women need are dix! Yay dix! Rated.
“The drug will be called Dixarit,” he says, smiling. “It’s all they need to know. And they’ll never forget it.”

Clearly, they weren't marketing to lesbians . . . the forgotten demographic.
I prefer the generic over-the-counter brand.
Owl, lesbians didn't exist yet in the 1960s. ;)
Lol . . . that did occur to me . . .
It's appropriate for a disease like "men-o-pause". They are just helping women resume their ADLs.
This medication sounds like it might also cure the disease one sometimes gets from having sex with the same guy for too long: monocockleosis.
So funny. When are whore houses going to come back in fashion? I want one with men in it to rent too. Oh wait, that is craigslist, the medicine cabinet for the world. Always hope for the future.
Yes to proper dicks. No to drugs. Too many drugs for things that should happen naturally, like saying yes to dicks. Woman have long become the guinea pigs for big pharma, not big dicks. Or are they the same? "Woman things" are natural. Drugs mask the symptoms while causing other damage to brain and body. Not worth it. This too shall pass. Pass me the dick!
I think the psychology behind the name is that if a dick can relieve a young woman, it's namesake can relieve an old woman. Just triggering the memory of what a relief it was is somewhat relieving.
hey emma, dont knock it if you havent tried it. HAHAHA
ps good to know great minds are at work on the hard problems.
maybe they can somehow erect a solution.....
emma maybe didnt get the news.
actually nature has already come up with something like this.
sperm makes women happy
Ive been waiting for some scientists to isolate the ingredient in sperm that has this antidepressant property. Im dead serious. possibly billions of dollars are at stake on isolating that component if it exists. hasnt this occurred to anyone? and a weird question, I wonder if the same ingredient would be effective on men? ewwwwww
I gotta say, the "flushing out" I experienced last night didn't do it for me at all. Apparently, not all dicks are it.

Maybe I need to try this drug?