Before I knew what a fag was, I knew I didn’t want to be one.  I was very clear about that.  I made sure everyone knew that I was no fag. 

Eight years old at a new school, and it was the hot word of autumn.  Every time I… Read full post »

It took me awhile to figure out who was on the phone.  The party on the other end was incoherent.  It was a man, and he was shouting so loudly that distortion was crackling on the line.  I held the phone away from my ear and looked at it, carefully… Read full post »

I was feeling like very hot property.  It was late afternoon on a hot day.  I had just come from a meeting that involved a large sum of money.  I wanted to celebrate the tremendousness that was me.  No going back to the office.  But instead of heading home to… Read full post »

What to Say When Your World Explodes

I’ve been lucky.  I’ve never been dumped.  Not once.  Maybe I’ve pulled the trigger just a hair faster in a showdown, I don’t know.  But I’ve never been the guy with his guts torn out, wearing a perfe… Read full post »

I’m not going to get into the “whys”.  There are lots of reasons to argue with women, and they keep inventing more.  Clearly, they don’t sufficiently appreciate how terrific we are.

Today we’re going to talk about what to do and what not to do whe… Read full post »

You’re not thinking right, so I’ll think for you.  Just listen.  Loosen your tie so you can get some blood to the brain.  I’ll help you fix this if you do what you’re told.

No, waiter, my friend will not be having a Scotch.  He will be… Read full post »

We’ve had a good day’s sail.  The wind was off the starboard bow for hours.  It would back just when we needed to cut a more direct course, and it’d stay backed.  Beautiful.

I bring her into harbor under sail, no motor.  My first time. … Read full post »

No, she doesn't like you that way, mister.

Married men over 35, come over here and sit down.  That’s it, take a load off and let your fat ass spread over the chair.  Comfy?  Good.  Now listen.

 You’re letting down our side.  You see this photo o… Read full post »

I’m getting tired of delivering this lecture to young and single-again men.  They aren’t getting it through their thick skulls.  Those shiny berries in the forest are pretty, but poisonous.  Use your brain and keep walking.

Kieran has a good job a… Read full post »

...In which the author attempts to explain the attraction.

You don’t know this, you darling creatures, but we watch you.  We watch you at home and when we’re out together.  We watch you when you walk into and out of the room.  When you’re hurrying to but… Read full post »

Is it okay to smear men "for the cause"?

Dr. Amy Tuteur got my Y chromosome in a knot with her piece Your ‘orgasm face’? Cosmo and the pornification of women.  Her post was completely full of it.  And by “it”, I mean not the word you might expec… Read full post »