GIVE ARNOLD A JOB PART TWO

Arnold is suffering. He is suffering because he does not have a job. He is suffering because he wants to work. He hates staying at home. It makes

jumpy and edgy. I hate being with him 24/7. He is too pesty and dominating. I like to work alone.

Now I must relay his job hunting experiences. Of course he is registered with many Internet sites. He spends at least two to three hours a day applying for jobs. He also will update and tweak his resume. It is not important to express who you are and what your skills are in a resume. Rather it is important to make your resume is scannable with the right key words. He is usually applying to blind sites so he has no idea what the job is, who the company is etc. Employers moan that they are inundated with resumes. Yet it is their fault for being so cagey and evasive. If you knew the pay was minimum wage would you bother applying? Arnold would not apply. If these corporation would be honest then they could probably cut down on the applications they receive.

When he gets a response to his resume he has no idea what the job was because he applies to so many and so many are evasive that there is no way to distinguishing one from the other. Guess who likes to call Arnold regarding his job hunting? Internet marketers love to call Arnold. Insurance companies also love to call Arnold. Companies that have jobs that do not pay any money (commission only) love to call Arnold.

Once in a blue moon a real person with a real job will call Arnold for a phone interview. A storage unit company called him for a phone interview. The interviewer was reading from a script. I was with Arnold in the car when he was being interviewed. I heard him. He sounded good. A lot better that I would have sounded. I probably would have told the interviewer to stick it. He did not. It did not matter. He never got called back for a second interview.

He went to a used car lot for a job to sell cars. Even though he had the address and a navigator he could not find the lot. He finally found it and wondered why this company did not consider a more see able location. The sales manger interviewed him. Then the finance manager interviewed him. Then came the owner. Three interviews in one day. At least he would not have to return and waste gas to meet someone for two minutes. He did not get that job. Why? Who knows. He ran car dealerships new cars as well as used cars. They like to say he has old car experience. What does that mean? Arnold's old experience was to get to know the customer, see what they wanted and see if he could make it work. What would the new experience entail? Would that be reading a script. If I go to buy a car and the sales person starts in with the script I get obnoxious. I am a real person. Talk to me like I am alive. So that job bit the dust.

He drove 40 miles round trip for two interviews. He spent $20.00 on gas. Job one was in a financial company of some kind. They claimed to have a successful sales technique. They also did not pay. You were an independent contractor. Independent contracting can be fun until you file your taxes. The second job was the Internet Manager for a car lot. Arnold first met with the General Manager. The GM spoke in very confusing terms. He was talking about being a salesman and mentioned nothing about the Internet Manager position. Arnold was clear when he told the GM he was applying for the position of Internet Sales Manger. The GM said fine and turned Arnold over to the Sales Manager. Once again the Sales Manager wanted Arnold to be salesman. Arnold left. Imagine for those nonsense jobs he spent $20.00 in gas. What a waste. The unfortunate part is that if you try to get info on the phone before you head out they won't talk to you. It is pathetic.

In desperation Arnold applied to Radio Shack. He was found to be unfit for Radio Shack. When I called up a pal of mine and told him about the Radio Shack incident he went Deepak Chopra on me. He actually said, “Arnold was not rejected from Radio Shack. Rather at the present Radio Shack could not find a position for Arnold's talents” I did not repeat this to Arnold because he hates that kind of talk.

Arnold was dejected over the the Radio Shack rejection. He got over it in time. The thing about the Radio Shack rejection is that in the old days you used to be able to walk into a place like Radio Shack and say you are looking for a job. Someone would give you an application and you would probably get an interview and you would probably get a job. This job could be a second job for extra cash etc. In the year of 2009 you can no longer do that. The world is corporate. The corporations have taken over. You can no longer walk in, talk to a human and have a human interview you and make a decision. I forgot to tell you that Arnold had to take some kind of test from Radio Shack before he was allowed to submit his resume. He passed and was able to submit his resume only to get rejected.

He also was interviewed by Kaplan College. They were looking for someone to do admissions. They actually paid a salary. The first interview was a group interview. There were 25 applicants. After the group interview you went home and filled out a questionnaire. Then if you were picked you would be among three people for one position. Arnold was not one of the three.

After that he hit a dry spell. No interviews, nothing. He is nervous. He wants to work. He wants to support himself but how will that be possible with the way job hunting is st up?

The dry spell ended and there were a few more interviews. One was with a chiropractor. That interview was easy but bizarre. Question one, “Have you ever been to a chiropractor?” Question two, “What do you know about medical billing?” End of interview.

There was some fun times with the Money Store. The Money Store is a pawn shop open six days a week. They also cash checks. The hours are 8AM to 5:30PM. The pay is $20,000 plus commission. Arnold requested $25,000. That caused a drama and there was never an answer about that request. There was also never an offer of that job.

One of the jobs had an aura of excitement. Arnold met with the interviewer. They were going to make a decision in one week. One week came and went. Arnold called in and was told that there were so many applicants that they extended interviewing. Therefore they would make a decision the following week. This was a telemarketing job with a salary of $1000 a month plus commission. They narrowed it down to three applicants. Arnold was one of the three so he went back for a second interview. He got a call and was told he was not selected but would he be available if the person they selected did not work out. This statement made me think this firm was nuts. Why hire someone who you are on the edge about? Why do that when you could have Arnold?

My personal opinion about the whole job search process is “It sucks.” I was a business owner for many years. I hired and trained many people. When I needed a manager (which is a tough job) I put an ad in the paper. I answered the phone and set up my own appointments. Are you thinking this is primitive? I did not run a credit check. I did not run a CBI check. I did not use a questionnaire. I did not have the applicant come back three times and meet different people.

I used my brain and my instincts to choose. I had to explicitly trust my manager. I had to get along with her/him and her/him had to get along with the staff. I wanted someone bright, innovative, imaginative and sales oriented who wanted to make beaucoup bucks.

I had 6 mangers. All of them were great until they got burnout from the job. They were top notch and they did a superb job. One of them left and became President of the company they went to work for. I provide you with this tidbit because honestly I think the current hiring regime is idiotic and counter productive. I also think it is designed to DE humanize you. I think a lot these corporate people are incompetent. Just look at the bank debacle and or the auto debacle.

I guess Arnold is like the dinosaur. He is going to have to retrain himself to take no pride in his work, repeat the script he is given over and over to convince you he is a moron. He has to learn to say, “Is there anything else I can help you with?” and be completely satisfied that he provided you with little to no help. Maybe then someone will give him a job.