I was very moved by a by CLMMcKeller's "The Death of a Career" post about the dark-night- of-the-soul she's going through over (the lack of ) her career as a writer. (Click here and check her out, she's a good writer!)

I haven't posted in my blog for awhile, being busy with my show and all.  But, I was inspired to respond with to her with words of encouragement.  

In the even t that there are others of yoy going through similar dark nights, here was  my advice to her...and to you:

This too shall pass...just hang in there!!!

I'd like to share with you the advice I gave to a middle-aged white actress friend of mine who was bemoaning being passed over for acting jobs in favor of "young blonds with big boobs." With the greatest of compassion, I suggested to her that she might not feel so despondent if she started think of herself as a "n-----."

Truth be told, unless you're an A-list star like Meryl Streep or Sandra Bullock, middle-aged actresses are pretty low on the Hollywood food chain. And even those two had their share of career challenges once they hit 40. Fortunately, middle-aged female movie-goers made their voices ($) heard loud and clear at the box- office, last year, so they should be fine.

But I digress. Unknown, unpublished writers are also "n-----s". Yes, it's unfair and it sucks and my saying it's not politically correct. But it's the truth, and being armed with this new insight can be empowering.

Having grown up in the South during the era of Jim Crow, my daddy (who would have been 103 this year, had he lived...but who did manage to make it to 95) instilled in me that because I was "a little colored girl," I was going to have to work ten times as hard as a white person to get the same things.

He said it with no malice or bitterness, but just as a statement of fact...and that's how I took it.

I never felt the sense of entitlement or world-view of meritocracy that my white friend had. As a result, I was better prepared for the rejections and financial challenges that creative-types often must endure.

My daddy's advice not only prepared me for facing tough times in my chosen career path as an actress and writer, it's also bolstered me against the new ignominy that comes with getting older in a youth-oriented culture.

Taken to heart, the wisdom of "if it doesn't kill you, it can make you stronger" may not take away the pain you're feeling right in this moment, but once you're up to the task again, it'll motivate you to get back on track with new resolve...which you MUST do, because turning away from your passion and talent is a slower and, I think, ultimately more painful death.

Wishing you much success,
Mariann Aalda

P.S. -- Here are links to how I "walk my talk..." :-)
www.mariannaalda.com / www.moistonstage.com