_{THE PLACE BEYOND*}

^{_{The Place Beyond is not like any other place you know.}}

^{_{It's not a road of yellow bricks, it's not a wondrous rabbit hole.}}

^{_{The Place beyond is where you come to find your truest heart.}}

^{_{A journey to the truth of you...and love is where you start.}}

^{*From  HOME, a musical by Karen Greyson}

Karen Greyson grew up in Highland Park, a wealthy suburb north of Chicago. I grew up in Phoenix, a grittier suburb on the south side of Chicago.  Karen had her very own pony.  Where I grew up, I knew there had to be a pony, at least if any of the shit I went through was an indicator. 

Karen is/was my best friend. Today, July 28, 2010, is her 61^st birthday. She died earlier this month on July 3^rd. (I’m still having a problem with referring to her in the past tense, so please excuse any inconsistencies in syntax.) And, yes, the above is a relatively recent picture.  This is what 60 looks like these days.

Karen would be happy to know that I’m writing again...maybe even flattered that I’m writing about her. Then, again, knowing her, she might also be embarrassed by the attention...maybe even a little ticked.  I can hear her, now, chiding me...

“Don’t make such a fuss, Mariann, I know how much you love me and how much our friendship means to you, you don’t have to write about it.  You’ve got more important things to tend to. You’ve been back in Chicago over a month now. You went back there to sell your show and pimp your career. Stop procrastinating and just DO it!”  

Hopefully Karen’s joy at seeing me overcome the creative malaise I’ve been in since May when doctors stopped all treatment for the lung cancer she’d been battling for the last three years and implemented at-home hospice care will trump her embarrassment and she’ll understand that writing about her is the step I need to take to overcome my "What's it all about, Alfie?" resistance to creating a happy, productive, rewarding life without her (at least physically...albeit memorably) in it.  

She used to say: “I can see us at 85 sitting in rocking chairs on your front porch and laughin’ our asses off.”  But now she won’t be there.  Hell, I may not be there either.  But I’m here today...time for me to get back to putting that time to good use.

*      *      *

Karen and I met in Los Angeles in February, 1985, in Darryl Hickman’s acting class.  I distinctly remember a monologue she did of a one-sided phone conversation.  She was real and vulnerable and I was verrrrry impressed (and I don't impress easily) with her acting chops. When Darryl asked what play it was from, she said she’d written it, herself. 

Damn, this girl is talented!

Randy Espensheid was in class with us.  We both did several scenes with him and the three of us eventually began socializing together outside of class.  Karen used to say that Randy was the peanut butter in the sandwich that brought us together.

After college (Karen went to Western Illinois University; I graduated from rival Southern Illinois U.), Karen did theater, commercials and voiceovers in Chicago while I was doing theater, commercials and soap operas in New York City, but we didn't know each other back then.

Being cast as a lead in the TV pilot Teego the Star Traveler is what got Karen to LA, while the cancellation of Edge of Night, the NY-based soap opera I’d been on for almost four years, is what got me there to take a shot at prime-time.

Eventually Karen moved behind-the-scenes (as a producer for LA/NY music) while I continued my career in front of the camera (mostly in sitcoms) and raised a family.

In addition to being actresses from Chicago; having a penchant for writing and mothers who had grown up in the south and been (intimidatingly?) great beauties and fathers who'd wielded great influence in our lives, we also had a mutual desire to “save the world,” which led us to form PeopleLikeUs Productions in 1994.  Our goal was to create ethnically and culturally diverse, multi-generational, family-friendly television programs to give people an opportunity to see things from a different point of view...just as we'd been able to do over the course of our inumerable conversations.

Our spirited discourse from our differing backgrounds and black and white vantage points fueled our creativity. Despite dozens of pitch meetings, however, none of our projects ever got picked up by the networks. Although, (coincidentally?) we did see several of our story ideas make their way onto other shows...which is at least a testament to our talent and good judgment.  

If there is a God, Karen's solo projects -- Home, an edgy but uplifting musical-dramedy will somehow make its way to Broadway; Alice of Birch Street, a novel (loosely-based on her mom's childhood) about a little girl with mysterious powers growing up in New Orleans during the depression will someway make it onto The New York Times Best Sellers list, and her screenplay, Mastering Love, will someday make its way to the big screen.  (The latter, a multi-culti, metaphysical, romantic-comedy thriller has a terrific lead role in it for an actress in her mid-to-late forties...

...Hello, Sandra Bullock...are you listening?!)

While working on our separate projects (currently for me, M.O.I.S.T.! which ended its 9-month LA run in April and which Iona Morris and I were working on bringing to Chicago till I got waylaid by grief after Karen went into hospice), Karen and I never gave up on our commitment to helping make the world a more loving, compassionate and understanding place.  Maybe we were a little sappy (or just a couple of saps) to believe that we could make a difference, but that's what cemented our bond.  We could be sappy around each other without ever feeling the need to explain or apologize for it. 

In 2003 we launched Dear People Like Us a humor-infused, “ethnic etiquette” advice column in BlackBerrySpeaks.com.  The column ran for three years till the e-zine folded. During that time we began compiling “the best of” Q&A’s to put into a book cheekily entitled When NOT to call a Spade a Spade...The NEW RULES of Ethnic Etiquette.  

Not long before she died, Karen had talked to me about reviving the column. She felt that a lot of the mean-spiritedness which has been passing as headline news of-late was an indicator that as a rational and tolerant society we were going backwards. As a tribute to Karen and her vision, here are a couple of those Q &A’s.  Hopefully you will read them and laugh. I have just finished reading them and wept. 

I will miss my friend dearly every day of the rest of my life.  Hopefully, each day I’ll miss her a little bit less as my own “departure-date” grows closer and  the time comes when I will perhaps see her again. Meanwhile, till we re-unite in the ether of the great unknown, I’m sure Karen will be happy that I’m back at work...and continuing to work at keeping hope alive.

*      *      *

Dear People Like Us:

Why does white peoples' hair smell like wet dog? And is there any product to keep them from shedding all over everything?
Signed, Dog Gone                   

                                           
Dear Dog Gone:

This sounds like a "Karen" question, sooo...

Where or where has your little nose been?  Having spent my life around many a white person as well as many a dog, horse, cat and occasional rabbit, I understand your query about the smell factor.  Yup, I have smelled that smell, too, but only on my boyfriend after a 10K run.

There could be a variety of reasons: sweat mixing with bacteria on the surface of the skin, which releases its secretion into the hair follicle, or diet (my boyfriend, for example, had consumed garlic) or one's own unique olfactory (how odor molecules trigger nerve impulses from the receptor cell to the brain).

As for the shedding, we all shed.  A close shave may help the obvious, but that little stubble will eventually find it's way off the body as the new growth phase begins.  It's the nature of all humans unless they go for electrolysis.But other than avoiding men with a penchant for garlic who run ten miles a day, I'm afraid I have no other advice to offer you.  But I will forward your letter to the folks at "Head and Shoulders," maybe they can work it into their next ad campaign.

 ------------------------

Dear People Like Us:

I'm a single, Jewish guy who's been invited to a Catholic wedding where High Mass will be part of the ceremony.  I know that Catholics do a lot of standing and kneeling during their services -- is it obligatory for me to participate?  Will I appear to be rude, or even worse, blasphemous if I don't?  I'm only 36, but I've got bad knees from old sports injuries.  If there's any chance that my "Ms. Right" might be in attendance, though, I don't want to blow making a good first impression by appearing to be an uncouth jerk. What should I do?

Signed, Pew-trified in DuPage County

Dear Pew:

 This is definitely a case of "Pew-er to the People."  If you feel that active participation in the ceremony would be injurious to life and limbs, by all means, sit this one out.  Any woman who would think harshly of you and not give you the benefit of the doubt is obviously judgmental, possibly self-righteous, and isn't somebody you'd want to spend the rest of your life with.  So go, have fun, and Mazel Tov to the bride and groom! 

By the way, we showed your letter to our friend, Annie, who is Jewish and a self-proclaimed "Yenta."  She says it's obvious that you're a very bright, well-mannered and sensitive young man, so if your "Ms. Right" doesn't show up at the wedding, she's got a niece she'd like to introduce you to...and she's a doctor. 

-------------------

^{_{Happy Birthday, Karen!!! This is for you.  Since I can't buy you a present (Well, I guess I could, but I'm not exactly sure where to send it...LOL!), I got up this morning, sat down at the computer and made a promise to both of us that I would not stop until I finished writing this...and that I would get it done before the end of the day, NO EXCUSES!!!  It was just a baby step but it was a start towards breaking my creative block and YOU were my ass-kicker! :-).  I hope you like it. I tried not to be maudlin or sad and to do you justice and stay on point. You'll be glad to know that I am now going to reward myself by watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and havinga very dry martini (I've earned it :-) right after I publish this and call Da Mama.  (Karen's nickname for her mom, who's 92 and still gorgeous!)}}

^{_{Btw, Randy, Carrie, Scot and Renee miss you like crazy as well...but somehow we're all gonna pull through it together.  None of us is gonna let the other fall...we're not as good a "catcher" as you are, but we're workin' on it.  Love you madly, MA}}

   ^{www.karengreyson.com}