MARCH 8, 2012 2:50AM

THE WORST CHURCH SINGERS IN THE WORLD

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Some of the world's very best pop and soul vocalists have come directly from the traditional black churches of the American South -- Aretha Franklin, Mavis Staples, Mahalia Jackson, Al Green, Sam Cooke, the list is long. There is nothing like the authentic grit, soul, and power that comes from gospel music. However, despite their best intentions I am sure, some church singers would best serve their lord by sitting down in the congregation and never singing again. I'd like to provide you with some examples of "Gospel Gone Wrong."

Well. Hmm.  This woman certainly has the spirit, but seems to be possessed by Campbell's Soup. I'm considering covering this. Catchy!



This guy recently made the viral video rounds, deservedly. The assembled here must be the most saintly, patient congregation ever for not pelting this guy with collection plate coins. Oh, my. My dog just woke up.



This man perhaps should have slept in on Sunday. For many, many years.



If this church were here, and was like this the whole time, I would go every single week without fail. I'm not kidding.



Grandma gets moved by the spirit at about :10 in, but the pastor knows when to end the show. He's a pro.



And to end with...this is why the internet was made for you and me: "Church Lady Shouts Her Wig Off." Besides that being the greatest video title ever, AND that the musicians sound more like one of the punk bands I like, the fact that she really does shout her wig off fills me with spiritual joy.





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Tomato soup -- washed in the blood -- I see the connection, and it's mmm-mmm-good