YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!
- los angeles, California,
- July 03
- Former Stand-up Comic, Comic Booker, Gag Writer. Currently marketing Madcap Comedy Screenplays, a Stage Play, a Book & selling jokes out of the trunk of my car......"Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha
MY RECENT POSTS
- "WordPlay - QUOTES That May
Haunt HILLARY in 2016"!
March 10, 2014 02:18PM
- It Was ME..I Found THE
CALIFORNIA GOLD & It Wasn't AN
February 28, 2014 03:25PM
- ROSEMARY'S...err..MIA'S BABY
Looks A Lot Like 'Ol Blue Eyes
February 10, 2014 04:00PM
- "YOUNGER MEN Dating OLDER
WOMEN Only Want 2 Things"!
February 07, 2014 03:15PM
- "The OS Membership Is SO
INCESTUOUS..." Open Call!
January 04, 2014 02:44PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Fun read! Been there,
done that & why do I have
- “Never saw a Bastard on a
Plate but...oh, the Elevator
Never mind. R”
- “Poof! Only in New
York...Chicago, D.C. & San
Fran - et
- “Thanks jmac! "Ben
Gazi...never heard of him" .
- “Too Soon? ha ha
already know the outcome -
Hillary Will Win!
March 11, 2014 02:41AM
Marilyn Sands's Links
- 2016 1st WOMAN PRESIDENT!
- "PET RUN With HAPPY HOUR"!
- OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!
- VALENTINE'S DAY
- ST. PATRICK'S DAY
- BOOK REVIEWS
- EP or BUST! ha ha
- OPEN SALON Uncensored
- OLDIE BUT GOODIE
- Ima FLY ON THE WALL
- HUMP DAY...Office Shananigans
- ...HAPPILY EVER AFTER
- IN FICTION...THERE'S ALWAYS NEW BEGINNINGS!
- MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC!
- BEING A STAND-UP COMIC After 40
- MY FAVORITE LINE in an Article
- END OF YEAR SPECIAL
- DON KNOTTS DAUGHTER: "Tied Up In Knotts"
- NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SCHOOL SHOOTING, COLORADO ET AL
- "FAVORITE SCENE IN A MOVIE
- PILLOW TALK - Scripted
- THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2012
- THE MATING GAME
- NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
- BO OBAMA
- OS WEEKEND FICTION
- THE ELUSIVE EP
- JOHN BOEHNER
- MITT ROMNEY
- NEWT GINGRICH
- RICK PERRY
- CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
- YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE THINGS UP - On Line DATING STRAIGHT LINES Copyright 2012
- RECOMMENDED BY ZAGAT
- POLITICS AS USUAL
- THINKING OUT OF THE BOX
- NON-PARTISAN POLITICS ha ha
- SARAH PALIN
- MICHELE BACHMANN
- WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- IN A CLASS ALL IT'S OWN
- RICK SANTORUM
- VENTS R US
- I LOVE THE MOVIES
- PERSONAL FAVS
- VISUAL CANDY
- BATHROOM READING
- Shh...IT'S PERSONAL!
- ARNOLD SCHWARTENEGGER
- ANTHONY WEINER
- CHARLIE SHEEN
- NO COMEDY ZONE
Who of us wouldn't want to take back some of our words - especially Politicians!
As Hillary Clinton's Advisors attempt to soften her public image - I've managed to skewer many of her old Quotes & take them out of Context - because I can!
&nb… Read full post »
Before you start singing "California Here I Come" & packing up those Pickaxes & Gold Pans - I got it all!
In fact, my yard looks like "Groundhog Day @ Normandy Beach"!
You probably read that a middle-aged couple, anonymously named "John & Mary", found $10 Million in Gold Coins… Read full post »
The Mia Farrow/Andre Previn/ Woody Allen/ Frank Sinatra's Family Tree makes "Shakespeare" seem like Child's Play!
You've got to admit; Family Trees are hard to Draw when you have this much Dutch Elm Disease & have more Branches than Bank of America!
But there's one thing that/… Read full post »
"Looking for an attractive Older White Lady who enjoys the Companionship & excitement of a Younger Man"
Stop the Presses - I think I found "The Mother Lode"! Oops, can't say the "M" word.
Okay, I'm old enough to be his...Lover!
To tell you the truth; I'm afraid my Heart can't/… Read full post »
10. We not only finish each other's sentences - we steal something from "James E's Playbook"!
9. We don't know whether to give each other an EP or a Wedgie!
8. It's anarchy - all the "Goody-Two-Shoes" are now saying WTF!
7. Some of us are so horny/… Read full post »
If you just shouted out "Yes" - you are being way too eager...this was a rhetorical question & I'll find out on my own soon enough!
Isn't "New Year's Eve" the Holiday where you repent for everything bad you've said, done or thought about saying or doing that year?
Oh,… Read full post »
Despite the daily crashing of Heirloom Vases & Pages of G. Washington's Bible ripped & then chewed - this year, Sunny joined Bo; rounding out the 1st Family's quota of B&W Portuguese Water Dogs to an exhausting final 2!
But what we don't hear is what went down during… Read full post »
I just like the Title - go back to whatever the heck you were doing!
And don't get any ideas...I'M Tallulah! Read full post »
If you've been here long enough - you already know we have a "Face"...many Faces to hang our Hats on!
I can't take full credit - I have JAKE'S MASTER LIST!
And just like Santa - he keeps track of who's Naughty or Nice!
If he has a change of heart… Read full post »
My first unpublished Book was a Compilation of over 400 "Dedications" that authors have bestowed on their first page.
The only disadvantage is when I finished it; I felt like a prospective member of A.A. - I wanted just one more...Dedication!
Old Bookstores & Libraries drew m… Read full post »
Prompted by a recent article in the L.A. Times I couldn't pass up...
A Westside Upscale neighborhood here in Los Angeles has now built a $165 Million Apartment Complex that is fit for a King!
"Here King! Here King" - as Comedian Henny Youngman used to say!
That's right! With Pets… Read full post »
David Letterman once said - when he was a kid he played with a Stick!
Well, so did little Prehistoric Kids back in their day - so keep that in mind when you're standing in line at Checkout!
It's a shame - our over indulged kids & grandkids get everything we never… Read full post »
My Old Title:
"What I Was THINKING During A MASSAGE"!
1st Runner-Up in New Title Contest: Abrawang! Yea! Thanks for playing along!
Isn't the whole point - not thinking about anything?
Well, during the first few seconds of my last Massage - I said, "WTF"!
"Turn your mind o… Read full post »
There's been so much throwing around of the word "Lying" lately - that I feel I have to diffuse the chatter.
Politicians - Yes! But our President?
Well, he's not alone!
"It wasn't true - it was a frigin' Apple Tree"!
&nbs… Read full post »
Actor, Armand Assante is in all my Favorite Scenes in my dreams...and in this Movie in particular! Of course, I wake up & it looks like he left in the middle of the night! But hey, maybe he left a Note:
"It was swell, but I'm off to make… Read full post »
I know it's hard to believe, but long before I picked up a Pen & wrote risquè Jokes & Madcap Screenplays - I got Girl Scouts their "Writing Badge"!
Through the years; sometimes I've even admitted that getting them their Badge was more important than me selling my o… Read full post »
Clinically, they say it's:
I say, No! In reality:
1. He wakes up with Septic Tank Mouth
2. I hold my breath
3. As he kisses me - it's over
4. He takes the Dog out!
To be fair; it's something i… Read full post »
You don't think Obama's Health Plan Website-Signup Slowdown is an accident, do you?
Of course not!
Revelers after glitches
There really is only one explanation:
"The Republican Plumbers"...2013 Tech-Style!
Desperate Times - Desperate Measures!
They… Read full post »
As I wrote in my last article - when I was growing up in the Southeast part of D.C. - I lived a stone's throw from Saint Elizabeth's Mental Hospital - and when they caught me as the Perp; they kicked me out & said "Be a Writer"!
Cheaper than a… Read full post »
From the age of 13 to...okay, let me start again.
From Periods to Menopause; we laughed at it all & when we were finished with ourselves - we laughed & fantasized about the boys we never stood a chance with!
We never were Bridal Attendants at each other's Wedding, not… Read full post »
President Obama's thorn in his side is not when he fell in the Rose Bushes - but the only Speaker of the House who can sleep at night...well, after a good cry!
Who knows - the GOP may go for the Short Term Ceiling Deal and there may finally… Read full post »
After 21 hours & 19 minutes on the Senate Chamber Floor - Texas Senator Ted Cruz aka Phil O' Buster, is at a loss for words!
IMA buzzes around TED CRUZ' Bedroom
Green Eggs & Ham, Ted?
Laryngitis, huh?&… Read full post »
"How To Stockpile For The Next TWINKIES Famine"!
In 1930, what was Baker, James Alexander Dewalt of River Forest, Illinois thinking?
Not much! This Continental Baking Company employee had an Affair & The Tramp gifted him a Mound of Cream Filling. He… Read full post »
"Luncheon of the Boating Party"
acrylic suspension renoir/marilyn sands®
When I love something (like this Renoir Painting) I can't resist to turn it on its head & tweak it a little. You should've seen what I did with Michel… Read full post »
Dedicated to every Comedian in their formative years!
Whoever invented "The Crib Mobile" either had a Baby who twiddled his thumbs or thought it would be the 1st Cheap Baby Sitter!
In fact, I believe that was the moment when Children became the focus of Parents lives. … Read full post »