YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!

from HOPE to HARPO - my love affair with funny!

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor! "Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know!

Marilyn Sands's Links

IN THE BEGINNING...
JEB BUSH
OUR TREASURE
They went...Vir..I mean...BACTERIAL! ha ha
TOP TEN THINGS...
MARILYN monroe, Inc.
STONE AGE vs TODAY
2016 1st WOMAN PRESIDENT!
"PET RUN With HAPPY HOUR"!
OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!
"HOLIDAYS"....THANKSGIVING
CHRISTMAS
VALENTINE'S DAY
ST. PATRICK'S DAY
BOOK REVIEWS
EP or BUST! ha ha
NOSTALGIA
OPEN SALON Uncensored
OLDIE BUT GOODIE
Ima FLY ON THE WALL
HUMP DAY...Office Shananigans
...HAPPILY EVER AFTER
IN FICTION...THERE'S ALWAYS NEW BEGINNINGS!
MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC!
BEING A STAND-UP COMIC After 40
MY FAVORITE LINE in an Article
END OF YEAR SPECIAL
DON KNOTTS DAUGHTER: "Tied Up In Knotts"
NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SCHOOL SHOOTING, COLORADO ET AL
"FAVORITE SCENE IN A MOVIE
PILLOW TALK - Scripted
THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2012
THE MATING GAME
NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
BO OBAMA
OS WEEKEND FICTION
THE ELUSIVE EP
JOHN BOEHNER
MITT ROMNEY
NEWT GINGRICH
RICK PERRY
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE THINGS UP - On Line DATING STRAIGHT LINES Copyright 2012
RECOMMENDED BY ZAGAT
POLITICS AS USUAL
THINKING OUT OF THE BOX
NON-PARTISAN POLITICS ha ha
SARAH PALIN
MICHELE BACHMANN
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
IN A CLASS ALL IT'S OWN
RICK SANTORUM
VENTS R US
I LOVE THE MOVIES
PERSONAL FAVS
VISUAL CANDY
BATHROOM READING
Shh...IT'S PERSONAL!
ARNOLD SCHWARTENEGGER
ANTHONY WEINER
CHARLIE SHEEN
NO COMEDY ZONE

 

Luckily, I got my hands on all 55,000 pages of emails Hillary Clinton gave the Government & I'm the first to say; we can all breathe easier now!

For expediency sake; I have listed the 1st & the last of the 55,000: 

1st email 

 "I'd like 1 Large Pretzel CRead full post »

My apologies to all the real Poets...

. 

 He comes to Wash-ing-ton "A Lion in Winter"...

to usurp Barach Obama wearin' Blue & White Fur.

Speaker Boehner precipitated the dasterdly deal... 

with the tempting promise of a Good Kosher Meal.

One side Nay; the other Yea,

didRead full post »

 

An epiphany came to me recently when I shook my Fear of Shakespeare after watching the 1968 Award-Winning Movie "A Lion in Winter" with Peter O'Toole & Katherine Hepburn - written not by Shakespeare; but brilliant Playwright & Screenwriter James Goldman. 

 

YouRead full post »

 ... didn't tell it like it is!

#1 

 "Kissing Marilyn Monroe was like...well, kissing Marilyn Monroe"!

BRIAN WILLIAMS

"Don't blame me - my Agent picks my Speaking Engagements"!

BIBI NETANYAHU

"Give me a break - I also invited Mrs. Yahoo but she had a dentist appointme/Read full post »

My Title would be:

"TOP 100 TITLES FOR MY LAST POST"! 

100.  "CHECK OUT THE SEE-THRU RAINCOAT I WORE WATCHING "50 SHADES OF GREY"!

99.   "SEE ME GET THROWN OUT OF THE BIJOU ON MY ARSE"!

98.   "98 REMEDIES FOR A COLD"!

97.   "READING OF 102 ON THRead full post »

 

After seeing his spell-binding performance in the Movie "Captain Phillips recently - there is no doubt in my movie-going-mind that Tom Hanks walks parallel with Lawrence Olivier in stature.

Not with his eloquent soliloquies of the Bard; but with his multi-faceted "Everyman" exterioRead full post »

 A painting of a scene at night with 11 swirly stars and a bright yellow crescent moon. In the background there are hills, in the middle ground there is a moonlit town with a church that has an elongated steeple, and in the foreground there is the dark green silhouette of a cypress tree.Van Gogh

I must say, Los Angeles is the craziest Social "Meet-Up" capital of them all!

If I want to join this merry group; for $20 bucks, I too, can be the next Picasso or drink Grandma Moses under the Easel!

You see, all Art Supplies, Snacks, Glasses, Music & Muses are proRead full post »

 

Are we our brother's keeper?  Not if you're a Bush!

While Cain killed Abel over eating the last Mallow Mar... Jeb loves his brother George to pieces - but still distances himself, swears he's his own man & makes 12 Pre-Campaign Promises:

TOP 12 SINS JEB WON'T REPEAT

12.&nbRead full post »

  

 

It's true - "Antiques Roadshow" TV Program just aired the discovery of a Galileo letter in Latin, written in the year 1607, worth $80,000 to $100,000 spurring on Archeologists & Dumpster Divers like myself to burrow ourselves in the ticklish underbelly of huRead full post »

 
 
They don't make Comics like Martin Short every day - even if they have to go to Canada for Parts!  That's an inside joke; as he hails from those freezing regions - Hamilton, Ontario to be exact.
 
I loved this Book!  The subtitle is "My Life asRead full post »
 
"Satire should like a polished razor keen
wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen"
        Lady Mary Wortlery Montagu - Poetess 1733
 
 
"I'm Marilyn & I am a Satirist"!
 
Not too many want to admit that - but the Closet is gettingRead full post »

"Ima Fly on the Wall" flies over "W"s home in Texas hovering over the Potato Salad...

 JEB BUSH

Where's that Bullhorn you used at Ground Zero?

W 

It's with my Yale Cheerleading Pom Poms & other Props.

JEB 

I already looked in your Library.

W 

Could use a few moreRead full post »

What can I say - after reading Zanelle's last essay, I got inspired.

No, I'm never gonna touch it!  No, is no!

I've been a dutiful wife, a loving mother & an experimental Cook - and I've touched a lot of things.  But not this!

Baby's poop, projectile offerings, inside kidsRead full post »

 

Over Thanksgiving Week; I flew to Atlanta for family hugs & was surprised by my daughter who got tickets to "Dirty Dancing...The Classic Story on Stage" - playing at the lavish mid-town Fox Theater built in 1929 seating 4,678 - 12 more if you count the Bathrooms!

 %IM… Read full post »

Can Nirvana be far behind?

#9   My Dentist cancelled!

#8  Ebola isn't in my State yet!

#7  We don't have Obama's Job!

#6  My Stock in Xanax went up! 

#5  My Burka doesn't need to be let out!

#4  Missing Bronco Football Fan found in John - just "Shy UrinatiRead full post »

What's your Poison? 

Do you get your Catastrophic News from your iPhone, your TV, your Radio, your Computer or your next door neighbor, Sam Frazzle?

 

Or do you just stay on "Fox TV News" to be sure?

In the spirit of Halloween; I bring to you our "Fear Du Jour":Read full post »

 

On Friday, we here in the Westside of L.A. were treated to a  quickie Presidential visit filled wih awe, pride & traffic gridlock.  President Obama took a much needed break from his Plate of Wars & Disease to support the Democratic Candidates with an appearance & dRead full post »

No Comedy Zone 

Open Call 

To paraphrase Las Vegas' famous tongue in cheek mantra - I say, what happens in Liberia (should) stay in Liberia!

Just in the News...

It was just reported that an American Cameraman for NBC News was diagnosed with Ebola in Liberia.

He will be flown backRead full post »

 "OBAMA'S NYC DINNER DATE" - Fox's HANNITY & CHENEY Scripted

After his Speech at the U.N., President Obama & Michelle Obama had a Romantic Dinner Date at "Estela" Restaurant on Houston Street in New York City. 

Their White House Personal Chef Sam Kass knew the Owner & as usualRead full post »

In 1983, while living in Hawaii for 3 years - my life changed profoundly.

In those days, it was Snail Mail - not emails, Text's or Fax' - when I bravely sent out batches of Jokes to one of the Top Female Comics in the country.

The wait to hear back was fraughtRead full post »

 

Third Pillow to the left is where I sat with my laptop churning out "On The s.O.S Lifeboat Left to Play with our DINGY'S"!

 

This is where I wrote "VIBRATORS...You don't have to Cook them Breakfast"! 

 

This is where my Wednesday Writer's Group sitRead full post »

AUGUST 18, 2014 3:02PM

"HUNG UP ON JUNG & FREUDIAN SLIPS"!

 

I don't know about you but - the last time I wore a Slip I was at the "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" Revival.  It was a lot like "The Rocky Horror Show" turnouts where everybody dressed up & 1/2 Slips were Welcome!

Well, it's not that kind ofRead full post »

 

No Comedy Zone 

 There's no greater compliment than to have someone do you - I mean an Impression of you & then you know - you've made it!

In the 1990's at "The Comedy Store" in L.A., I saw Roger Kabler do lots of Impressions on stage; but the oneRead full post »

An Exposè

     We Scribes love the idea of a Salon - bringing aesthetic thoughts of the literati of Paris, Italy & the legendary 1920's NYC Algonquin Round Table...well, it's nothing like that!

For one, we sit around in our Pajamas & Boxers like every other redRead full post »

AUGUST 6, 2014 11:21PM

"My DATE With An ISRAELI"!

Don't worry - it's not gonna happen!

Oh, there's nothing wrong with Jews or Israeli's; I broke bread with many of them.  Well, with my Cooking; it's inevitable!  But Plates too?

As you may know, I've been on a few Dating Sites & get regular visits on my Profile Pic fromRead full post »