YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!
- los angeles, California,
- July 03
- Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor!
"Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha
All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know!
MY RECENT POSTS
- "GOOD NEWS"...#10 The McRIB is
Back! Open Call
October 30, 2014 12:51PM
- "What's Your "FREAKING OUT"
Device"? Our FEAR Factory!
October 25, 2014 04:11PM
- "Wagging The Dog OBAMA STYLE"!
White House Pillow Talk
October 11, 2014 06:43PM
- "What happens in LIBERIA,
(should) stay in LIBERIA"! OC
October 03, 2014 12:52AM
- "CHENEY'S Nipples Get Hard -
who knew"? OBAMA'S NYC Date!
September 26, 2014 05:20PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “This is a Hell of a
Dating Site! I want Details!
ha ha Or are
- “Rated for actually being
able to see the back of your
Have a Happy one!”
- “Have you no shame?
There's some poor Writer
Wannabe out there
- “Great News from a Great
Guy! Happy Thanksgiving to you
all who are
November 24, 2014 08:13PM
- “Thanks Dan! ha ha I'm in
Atlanta right now with fam
have a cornucopia
November 21, 2014 01:40PM
Marilyn Sands's Links
- OUR TREASURE
- They went...Vir..I mean...BACTERIAL! ha ha
- TOP TEN THINGS...
- MARILYN monroe, Inc.
- STONE AGE vs TODAY
- 2016 1st WOMAN PRESIDENT!
- "PET RUN With HAPPY HOUR"!
- OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!
- VALENTINE'S DAY
- ST. PATRICK'S DAY
- BOOK REVIEWS
- EP or BUST! ha ha
- OPEN SALON Uncensored
- OLDIE BUT GOODIE
- Ima FLY ON THE WALL
- HUMP DAY...Office Shananigans
- ...HAPPILY EVER AFTER
- IN FICTION...THERE'S ALWAYS NEW BEGINNINGS!
- MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC!
- BEING A STAND-UP COMIC After 40
- MY FAVORITE LINE in an Article
- END OF YEAR SPECIAL
- DON KNOTTS DAUGHTER: "Tied Up In Knotts"
- NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SCHOOL SHOOTING, COLORADO ET AL
- "FAVORITE SCENE IN A MOVIE
- PILLOW TALK - Scripted
- THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2012
- THE MATING GAME
- NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
- BO OBAMA
- OS WEEKEND FICTION
- THE ELUSIVE EP
- JOHN BOEHNER
- MITT ROMNEY
- NEWT GINGRICH
- RICK PERRY
- CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
- YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE THINGS UP - On Line DATING STRAIGHT LINES Copyright 2012
- RECOMMENDED BY ZAGAT
- POLITICS AS USUAL
- THINKING OUT OF THE BOX
- NON-PARTISAN POLITICS ha ha
- SARAH PALIN
- MICHELE BACHMANN
- WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- IN A CLASS ALL IT'S OWN
- RICK SANTORUM
- VENTS R US
- I LOVE THE MOVIES
- PERSONAL FAVS
- VISUAL CANDY
- BATHROOM READING
- Shh...IT'S PERSONAL!
- ARNOLD SCHWARTENEGGER
- ANTHONY WEINER
- CHARLIE SHEEN
- NO COMEDY ZONE
Can Nirvana be far behind?
#9 My Dentist cancelled!
#8 Ebola isn't in my State yet!
#7 We don't have Obama's Job!
#6 My Stock in Xanax went up!
#5 My Burka doesn't need to be let out!
#4 Missing Bronco Football Fan found in John - just "Shy Urinati… Read full post »
What's your Poison?
Do you get your Catastrophic News from your iPhone, your TV, your Radio, your Computer or your next door neighbor, Sam Frazzle?
Or do you just stay on "Fox TV News" to be sure?
In the spirit of Halloween; I bring to you our "Fear Du Jour":… Read full post »
On Friday, we here in the Westside of L.A. were treated to a quickie Presidential visit filled wih awe, pride & traffic gridlock. President Obama took a much needed break from his Plate of Wars & Disease to support the Democratic Candidates with an appearance & d… Read full post »
No Comedy Zone
To paraphrase Las Vegas' famous tongue in cheek mantra - I say, what happens in Liberia (should) stay in Liberia!
Just in the News...
It was just reported that an American Cameraman for NBC News was diagnosed with Ebola in Liberia.
He will be flown back… Read full post »
"OBAMA'S NYC DINNER DATE" - Fox's HANNITY & CHENEY Scripted
After his Speech at the U.N., President Obama & Michelle Obama had a Romantic Dinner Date at "Estela" Restaurant on Houston Street in New York City.
Their White House Personal Chef Sam Kass knew the Owner & as usual… Read full post »
In 1983, while living in Hawaii for 3 years - my life changed profoundly.
In those days, it was Snail Mail - not emails, Text's or Fax' - when I bravely sent out batches of Jokes to one of the Top Female Comics in the country.
The wait to hear back was fraught… Read full post »
Third Pillow to the left is where I sat with my laptop churning out "On The s.O.S Lifeboat Left to Play with our DINGY'S"!
This is where I wrote "VIBRATORS...You don't have to Cook them Breakfast"!
This is where my Wednesday Writer's Group sit… Read full post »
I don't know about you but - the last time I wore a Slip I was at the "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" Revival. It was a lot like "The Rocky Horror Show" turnouts where everybody dressed up & 1/2 Slips were Welcome!
Well, it's not that kind of… Read full post »
No Comedy Zone
There's no greater compliment than to have someone do you - I mean an Impression of you & then you know - you've made it!
In the 1990's at "The Comedy Store" in L.A., I saw Roger Kabler do lots of Impressions on stage; but the one… Read full post »
We Scribes love the idea of a Salon - bringing aesthetic thoughts of the literati of Paris, Italy & the legendary 1920's NYC Algonquin Round Table...well, it's nothing like that!
For one, we sit around in our Pajamas & Boxers like every other red… Read full post »
Don't worry - it's not gonna happen!
Oh, there's nothing wrong with Jews or Israeli's; I broke bread with many of them. Well, with my Cooking; it's inevitable! But Plates too?
As you may know, I've been on a few Dating Sites & get regular visits on my Profile Pic from… Read full post »
And I don't mean "Merde" & "Screwè Vous"!
To be honest, the only thing I remember about my High School French is "Voulez vous coucher avec moi" - but enough about me & my 12 Step!
Okay, now it's all coming back:
A Menage a trois - means you'll… Read full post »
It's no news to Israeli's that when wars start - Tourism suffers & so it goes...
An old married couple...their Falafel Stand in Tel Aviv
Satirized, of course...
I m… Read full post »
Everybody knows "The Park Bench" is the quintessential Box Seat of this amoral pastime; but that's so bourgeois, isn't it? It's like the Missionary Position for Sex being the only one that will do the trick.
A way to get out of your he/… Read full post »
CLARK KENT did it...so did SUPERWOMAN, Hillary Clinton do it! She did it many times becoming not just a President's Wife, but a Senator & Secretary of State...and she didn't even have to take Shorthand or make Cookies!
To me - "Identity Theft" is not… Read full post »
Comic: Where you from?
Heckler: New Jersey.
Comic: What Exit?
4 Young Men from the wrong side of the tracks in New Jersey come together to form the iconic 1960's Rock Group "The Four Seasons"
I didn't see the Tony Award Hit Broadway Show; but almost did with the Tourin… Read full post »
10. "I THINK I'LL TAKE THE BENZ TODAY"!
9. "I HATE PIZZA"!
8. "AND, IT WAS MY FIRST LOTTO TICKET"!
7. "I'LL TAKE 3 SCOOPS"!
6. MEL BROOKS & I....!
5. WITH GREAT WEALTH COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY"!
4. "NO, MY HAIR WON'T FRIZZ-UP… Read full post »
In keeping with my sleepover trips to Movie Locations - I too, stayed at "The Del" - that's the gorgeous Victorian seaside Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego where "Some Like It Hot" was filmed.
This time only for 1 Night for financial reasons. It's all in the Affadavid… Read full post »
Favorite Scene in a Movie #10
In 1980, I was so captivated by this Romantic Movie starring Christopher Reeve & Jane Seymour - that in the 90's - I had to stay at "The Grand Hotel" on Mackinac Island where it was filmed!
Don't get me wrong - I also liked… Read full post »
I'm all for Solutions - and here we OpenSaloners have an opportunity not to just experience the wonders of New Jersey - but to kill 2 Birds with 1 Stone...Gerald Andersen & any one of the Birds in his Feeder!
Is he laughing?
The Beauty Part would be - we'd be on… Read full post »
And I thought having a little Home Game of Texas Hold 'em in the Basement was illegal!
I don't know if your Hamlet, Town, City, State, Country has "Meet-Up Groups" from the Internet; but L.A. sure has 'em & they are as kookie as they come!
Launched in 2002; there are… Read full post »
That's right; I've decided to take Monica Lewinsky out of her misery & have my way with this President!
I'll knock Monica off the Front Pages of Newspapers, Gossip Rags, Internet, Twitter & Comedian's Lips!
You see, I'm just like that "1st Gentleman-In-Waiting" who once said, "I feel your Pai… Read full post »
You see, I had to save this - it's a moment in time that can never be relived - well...except if squirreled away to read & reread when needing a smile & a lift I can't get from any Pill I know!
And so I kept this reminder that I was young… Read full post »
What the heck does "Dynamite in the Sack" mean?
I hear that phrase bandied about & I'm wondering if I am or how many copies of "Cosmo" do I have to buy to get it!
Since I'm only guessing - here's my TOP TEN Uni-List, you know...could be a Man… Read full post »