Kagan's Komedy
In case you missed the full transcript of Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan's "Gig On The Hill"; well, here's my copy. Okay, it's "Verbatim-Lite"; but you wouldn't want the alternative; it would read like The Nuremberg Trails!
Let's not forget, just to be nominated is the highest honor for a Lawyer; and I hear they Multi-task - they know how to take a joke, call their mother and compute a "Billing Time-Sheet" all at the same time!
It's your call whether these musings are "Tongue-in-cheek" or "Foot-in-mouth"; but one thing is certain - we need to laugh; the nation's future is in these Justice's hands; and one has Arthritis!
As for those easily offended, it's too late; we're both committed - you want to find out if Elena pulls it off & I want to find out if the Editor buys it!
Don't take it from me, but from all bipartisan accounts:
"The Chamber went wild when Elena called these Hearings "A vapid & hollow Charade" - then flipped a cigar with a "Groucho's" stance & quipped: "I like "Pictionary" too"!
Yes, the "Hall of Intimidation" brightened as Elena's flash of humor soothed the savage beasts (and that's just the Independents) for a brief respite from "the usual" - the foraging of Red Meat.
But it was short- lived as crusty old G-Wonks & Willywonks whispered, "If this "hot-seat initiation" doesn't work; there's always Plan B: "Water Boarding"!
Oh, and don't worry about The Honorable Ms. Kagan; I hear if this doesn't pan out - she's getting A Reality Show!
TRANSCRIPT - DAY 1
On "Judicial Unity"............"Are you kidding...Sonia, Ruth & I are the new "Supremes"!
On "Judas Prudence"........."FYI; she likes to be called "Judy"!
On "Right To Bear Arms"......"Not at this weight"!
On "Sherbert v Haagen Dazs"..."Okay, you got me...I can never decide"!
On "Freedom Of Assembly"....."My Fav - next to Gym & Homeroom"!
On "Judicial Revue"............."Where'd you dig that up - it was my Senior Year"!
On "Having Never Argued A Case"..."I beg to differ - at "Safeway", I said "I just wanted a 6 Pack"!
On "The Fruits & Vegetables Brouhaha"..."Don't worry, I get my V-8 at Starbucks"!
On "Borders"......................Yes, on occasion I like a little Lace on my PJ's - so"?
On "Affirmative Action"................"Hey, I like "Musicals" too"!
On "My Christmas Day Dinner"....."Yes, it was "Chinese"...but I didn't inhale it"!
On "Legalizing Pot"........................See above!
And as far as "ROW v WADE"...."Personally; I like to stay in the Boat"!
P.S. Update: She made it!!!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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