While you might think of Charlie Chaplin eating his own Shoe & Shoelaces in the old-timey movie "The Goldrush"; things have been tough - but we don't need that kind of roughage!
Nobody has to tell us a dollar isn't what it used to be & a nickel is what you don't bend down to pick up because of your bad back!
That's right - half of us don't want to pick it up because we're "Not Covered" - and the other half knows by the time we'd get back up - yep, Inflation...3 cents!
If you're like me and already tried "denial"; but really want to get past this downturn; we have to stop blaming ourselves, Halliburton or Bush for our new emotional tics.
Sure the 8 year free for all in Iraq put us in the Red; and yes; "The Fed" said he didn't see it comin' - but what are we gonna do; now we find ourselves living in Granny's House....okay, in Granny's bed....all right, next to Granny!
The culprit has been staring us right in the face:
Advertising - subliminal & liminal!
From the moment we wake up till we climb into bed; we have to carry around images, slogans, jingles & worthless crap in our heads; just in case we have to buy something!
From Cradle to Grave we've been duped into "Spending Submission"; my Mantra isn't any different than yours:
"I need those shoes, I need those shoes"!
More than any other time in history, Advertising has become our Weapon of Mass Destruction; but at least I found it!
I don't remember signing up to be "A Demographic"; do you?
They didn't even factor-in my immaturity!
It goes way, way back - on The 9th day of Creation; it was Pronounced:
"Let there be....Advertising".
Yeah, "The 1st Sticker on a piece of fruit" - and the real reason for Adam's Apple!
After that, he was always tee'd off: "Every time I open my Bible...those annoying cards fall out"!
Today, they're still selling Fear, Guilt, Intimidation - and depending on which side of the bed you woke up on; Sarcasm:
"YOUR DOLLAR makes CENTS to us"!
"A PENNY SAVED is ridiculous:!
"BUY ONE, GET ONE at the same price"!
And..."NAME YOUR PRICE - we love a good laugh"!
Someone's getting paid to write these things; and I know it's not me!
Just think of all the things that are transported every day; eating up the Ozone, the Oil and the Infrastructure; just so we can have choices - whether it's the necessities:
Toilet Paper, Radial Tires or Longer-lash Mascara!
All I know is - my Lipstick: Shade "Take Me Now" is working; and don't care what else you got!
Talk about glut. Are there enough Cereals to pick from at the store? I think the companies are getting religious on us - they must think there'll be "The Last Breakfast"!
But the plethora of Feminine Products gets the biggest laughs from 3rd World countries & Comedy Club audiences; they're thinking:
"Either the Movie "Land Without Men" is true, or the rumor is false - there is not a shortage at The Blood Bank"!
No, the alternative isn't like in Russia with lines out the kazoo; but one thing is certain; they never have "Buyer's Remorse". Don't laugh; I had a Consignment Shop with that name! As Larry David would say: "I did pretty, pretty well"!
But don't you see; I benefited from our country's excess. Wait a minute; is that "American" or "Un-American"? I better check with a Republican; they would know.
What if "Advertising" went away? We'd buy stuff anyway, wouldn't we? We're Hunters & Gatherers; we'd find a way. I know we need some Advertising; what with Commerce & Competition, blah, blah, blah; but how about just kicking it down a notch.
Sure, the New York Stock Exchange would go beserk for 5 minutes - but big deal; I get that same frenzied look when I see my dog just came down with diarrhea!
I know, I know; they say "Pick your battles". Oh well, I guess I'll leave it to Filmmaker, Michael Moore to take it from here - but if he doesn't ; who knows, maybe he can stop "Grocery Checkout Persons" from making Comments on my purchases!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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