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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Former Stand-up Comic, Comic Booker, Gag Writer. Currently marketing Madcap Comedy Screenplays, a Stage Play, a Book & selling jokes out of the trunk of my car......"Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2010 2:04AM

Kosher PICKLE & Non-denominational OLIVE!

Rate: 0 Flag

     SOMETHING ISN'T KOSHER! could mean: 

The Practice of Jewish Dietary LawsLady Gaga's new outfit or....

Newt & Karl Rove singing "I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, short & stout...."

      Oh, let me make this perfectly clear; "Hebrew National" is a Hot Dog Company not a Horse Race in Boca!   

We take our food seriously; let's just say... we don't go to Restaurants for the Ambiance!  

For us - Lunch is foreplay for......Dinner!

     So don't be alarmed at our obsession when we act out & fight...namely: The Bread Basket! 

"Hey, you had the one with the Poppy Seeds last time"!  

You ain't seen nothin' yet...wait till they spot "The Marble Rye"! 

And yes, I've been on the short end of the Bread Stick...and have the stitches to prove it!     

     And many a Restaurant Booth in Miami have come close to an International Incident over "Coffee Creamers"! 

"Non-dairy with a D", shouts Irving as his sleeve slips into his Kiska Gravy!    

Are you kidding..."Fine Dining"...is when they find Carrots in their Matzoh Ball Soup! 

      This isn't a Meal..

..it's "Two Stooges sharing a Knish"! 

Nothing is more entertaining or embarrassing to watch!   

     A Knish? 

This "Hot Pocket" is stuffed with Mystery ingredients - even The Scribes in the Bible were scratching their heads.  

It's amazing - once eaten; the weight of the world seems insignificant & we're ready to tell jokes about the Old Country - Brooklyn!      

     To make our eating even more perplexing - we have letters on our food!  

We have a special group of men who hang out in a Back Room at the FDA - they stamp a "k" on food - for "Kosher". 

So if you see little men & women running up & down the Grocery Aisles muttering "Where's the K" - don't tell them it's next to The Fruit Loops!

     And, we have "Kosher Style" - that's  Kosherbut they found a Loophole! 

Pfft - that's like eating Lox on an English Muffin! 

If you think there's a Brouhaha about where to put a House of Worship - you should've been there when they changed over to "Kosher What"?

     To show you where our religion is headed - according to Studies; in the year 2000, there were 21% of American Jews keeping Kosher. 

In 2010; there were only 2 Jews who do

But the myth goes on & the laughs still come on every El Al Flight: 

"Who ordered the BLT"?    

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