Here in L.A., we're literally breast fed on the "Top Romantic Movies of the Past" - so repeat along with me: "Casablanca", "Gone With The Wind", "Love Story", "Dr. Zhivago", "West Side Story", "From Here to Eternity" & "Brokeback Mountain"!
Oh yes, they have it down to a Science; when it comes to Movies - every Date has "A Romance Level"! Is it "The 1st Date after "A Coffee Meet" or "The next date after the 1st Sex Date"? And your problems aren't over after you've had your 1st Sex Date - pick the wrong movie - and you & your Condoms will have an Expiration Date!
Let's get this straight, guys - "Chick Flicks" are not Romantic Movies at all! If the movie has 9 women in it & the only Testosterone in sight is the guy behind the counter selling "Red Vines" - or has "Sisterhood" in the Title....that is a "Chick Flick"!
It's not easy to just "Catch A Flick" these days; guys have to decipher what mood their date is in - as well as observe her at the Concession Stand!
"Cosmopolitan" Magazine says: If she gets "the Popcorn; she doesn't want to hold hands. If she gets "the Nachos"; not even A KISS goodnight. "The Pretzel"? There's a slight chance of intertwining of limbs - but if she begs for "Chocolate" - there's no way in Hell......of course that only applies to straight guys! (as Nathan Lane would say, "I think we're on a theme here"!)
It's also true; Straight Men don't know what to do when Women cry ... so you have to cut out all "the Tearjerkers" too. You might as well stay home & Netflix - but don't rent "An Officer & A Gentleman", "Titanic", "Ghost" or "An Affair To Remember" - unless you want to get laid. You don't want that kind of sex!
And guys; if you want to see a Romantic film without any White-Veil Build-up; you have to weed out movies with a Wedding theme - even "Bride of Chucky"! Needless to say; anything relating to getting pregnant is a Red Flag - so stay away from "Fools Rush In", "It Happened One Night", "What's Up Doc", "9 Months" & "Knocked Up"!
So, I'd put my money on the man who puts "Family First"! Yes, rent "Manhattan", and hear Woody Allen say, "I think people should mate for life - like Pigeons or Catholics"!
Or another Romantic Classic, "Meatballs" with Bill Murray! Only he can get away with saying "Is that a Bra you're wearing or are you expecting an Assassination Attempt"? And just for the record, "American Pie" is not Romantic - it's about Carpel Tunnel Syndrome!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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