Heading for the Mexican Riviera; disabled Carnival Cruise luxury liner "Splendor" hit an Iceberg Audience; leaving the Stand-up Comic's Act dead in the water!
Going under so fast; he actually had to use "All Hands & Fleet on Deck" & "Fire Down Below - Sorry, that's just the Burrito from Lunch"!
Tomatoes? Are you kidding...all they had to throw was Pop Tarts & a jar of Anchovies!
From what I hear; they had Scavenger Hunts & were out for Blood - at the top of the list was "The Captain's"!
And just because the Casinos were closed - didn't mean there wasn't any Wagering: "There were 3,299 passengers that boarded....& there is..."The Plank"!
So much more happened on this Floating Clunker that I had to buy the actual "Transcript in a Bottle" of the Comic's Routine on ebay:
"Folks, it could be worse - we could be listening to the Theme from "Titanic"!
"Now hear this: "THERE IS NO "FLY-FISHING" ALLOWED ON THIS VESSEL"!
"If you think you have it bad - I have another Boat Connection in Denver"!
"Think of the bright side - nobody lost your luggage"!
"I overheard an elderly lady ask her husband "Should we Tip"?
"Just think...some Millennium you will laugh about this"!
"I'm pulling double-duty tonight - the Social Director missed the boat.
I think he quit - the last thing he said was "Cruising" is too slow - see ya when I see ya"!
"See you all again at the Class Action Picnic"! "I gotta go...I have a bunch on the upper deck in the middle of playing "Squeeze through the Porthole"!
The Prize? "Spam L-Orange"!