If you are reading this; you were alive for the turn of the Millennium - maybe not sober but waking up on January 3rd still counts! The Good News is - it won't happen again in your lifetime! Isn't that what you were praying on your knees for; au toilette?
December 31, 1999 was the ultimate "Hail & Farewell Party" - and the danger part was "The Battle of the First's" like we've ever seen! "1st Baby Of The Year"? That year, crazy couples were told to conceive on April 9th to deliver their baby at 12:01 am, on January 1, 2000 - even if they have to have a Cesarean to get it out in time! And I thought tearing the Label off my pillows would be a wild thing!
Another danger was losing friendships over giving & going to The Party of all time! Everyone wants you to come to theirs - for me; this one was a no-brainer:
"WE PROMISE ALL YOUR FANTASIES...AFTER MIDNIGHT WE'LL BE CHECKING OFF ALL 10 COMMANDMENTS"!
And remember those seductive Newspaper & TV Ads for Furniture you don't have to pay for till after the year 2000? Damn - I bought 5 Bedroom Suites & I have a Studio Apartment!
There's one thing I know for sure; Bill Gates was hiding away in a secret remote locale waiting for the smoke to clear with a "CONTAGIOUS DISEASE QUARANTINE" Sign on his darkened windows!
Besides the stress of "The Y2K Watch" & it's uncertain aftermath; the world was waiting for the reverting back to the year 1900 like the romantic movie "Somewhere In Time". While some didn't believe this scenario would come to pass - others were preparing for the end of time. My dilemma was to either pay off all my Credit Cards - or use them with abandon & buy everything I think I might need for the next 20 years - because I figured if all the Computers would be down & out - I'd never have to pay it ever!
And if you have a friend like mine; there's not much you can do for "The Pessimistic Procrastinator"; who lives by "Life's a bitch; then you die"! Fred says, "There are 11 ways the world can end". I asked him for 3 of them. He said, "Sucked in a Black Hole", "Zapped by Cosmic Rays" and "Gravity loses its grip". I said, "I'll have that Cheesecake now"!
As Poet Maya Angelou so eloquently recited "On the Pulse of Morning" at Clinton's Inaugural; Obama should Commision her to write an upbeat replacement for the antiquated "Auld Lang Syne" - before any more "Depressives" jump off a Bridge! Maybe Celine Dion can sing the vocals; and every year we can beat on our chests along with her!
And finally, (and not a moment too soon, ha ha) don't send a Fruitcake this Christmas ...all they'll say is, "This is from the last Millennium"!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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