Give me a break..to prepare for "Y2K" - I bought Bunkers.... with an Ocean View! The year 2000 in the Gregorian Calendar? I don't know about "Gregorian"; but I got mine at Kmart!
What actually happened after the turn of the Millennium? Slow News Day - In Australia, Bus Ticket-Validation Machines in 2 States failed to operate. And in Delaware - 150 Slot Machines at Race Tracks stopped working! And that was only because "Elmer", their one Techie; went out for a Smoke!
Okay; that's not all: "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" Song got stuck in infinite loop! And in Disney World - you guessed it... "Catapulting Teacups"! And the most titillating of all - because of the growing number of "Dyslectics" in the world - KY Jelly sales went thru the roof! (I just write 'em, I don't explain 'em) All in all; with every "Y2K Compliance" Scam offered - whole new industries were spawned - and so it goes - a few more got screwed than usual! ha ha
The truth is; nobody knows what the next year will bring. For the average person; the most recognizable Male "Predictor" in history was Nostradamus - but most don't remember the Female....Claire Voyant!
She dated Albert Einstein who said, "The distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion; however persistent"! That was his line in those days. She also dated Cowboy/Humorist Will Rogers who said, "Half of life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save"! Then he roped & lassoed her to a chair! Talk about foreplay! Being in the business - she should have seen it coming!
If you asked most people what they want for the New Year; it would be to lose weight. I should talk - I'm one of those people who on New Year's Eve throw out their scale - then I don't step on one till say...the 4th of July. If it's not a number I can recognize; I don't accept it. I'd say to myself, "Hey, I never had a weight with an 8 in it - it's not my weight - must be the last girl who got on"!
But just in case the old "Millennium Bugs" aren't out yet; this New Year's Eve, I'm gonna stay in bed, pull the covers over my head clutching my hand-held Can Opener & when the clock strikes 12 - contemplate my navel! If anyone wants to join me; you can call 1-800-IHAVESPAM!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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