Now that I'm Single - where is "Stupid Cupid" with his Golden Quiver & perfect aim - and is there only 1 - as in 1 Santa Claus, 1 Tooth Fairy & 1 Easter Bunny; or are there multiple Impersonators - like in "ELVI"! At this point; I'll take an Impersonator with a Rusty Quiver! I may even have to rush the process & call "Cupid's R Us" - but with my luck...mine will have Arthritis!
In South Korea & Japan, women give Chocolates to men on February 14th & men give non-Chocolate candy to women on March 14. On APRIL 14TH - those who did not receive anything; go to a Chinese Restaurant & eat Black Noodles & mourn their single life. Unlike the U.S.; where you can always get on "The Biggest Loser: or "Any Bridge"!
It doesn't help any that on Christmas Day; the Stores here put out Red Everything - if you don't buy something with a Heart-on...you are not only unromantic; chances are you'll never get one!
No matter how you cut it; "Valentine's Day" is referred to as "Singles Awareness Day"! Or as I whimper to my Analyst: "Noah's Ark Day"! It is closely followed by other lonely "Table For 1's" - New Year's Eve, Thanksgiving & Groundhog Day...but maybe it's just me!
Everyone thinks they know the history of the 1st Valentine's Day. Some people think it started in 1929 with "The St. Valentine's Day Massacre" with Al Capone & Bugs Moran depicted in "Some Like It Hot" - after all Al did say: "I'll send Flowers"! But I heard the real Massacre was later in the movie & was all about dropping a few strategic Sequins on Marilyn Monroe's dress!
But this one seems logical to me: In 498 A.D. Pope Gelasiuo declared February 14th St. Valentine's Day: Roman Priests would gather at the Sacred Cave & Sacrifice a Goat for Fertility. Romulus & Remus sliced the Goat's Hide into strips & dipped them in blood ("Love" is in the air, isn't it?) & then slapped women with them! Don't get me wrong; Roman women welcomed being touched because they were led to believe it would make them Fertile or at least - turn them on! ha ha
Then each woman would place their name in a big Urn (if you must know - 8 bucks an hour; are you happy now?) Then Bachelors would choose a name out of the Urn & be paired for the year. These matches often ended in marriage. And I'm wasting my time on match.com!
"They" say, "If you're hit with a Cupid's Arrow you will fall madly in love with the next person you meet"! Well, I'm game - anybody but Romulus & Remus!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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