We all know "The Charlie Sheen" Back Story...."The Booze, The Boobs & The Buzzhound"!
That's right; if your only goal for the day is "Peeing Clean"...you better check into "A Betty Ford" before you become an Edsel!
And we all know what happens when 1 Man doesn't show up for work - there's a Domino Effect...and I don't mean Cheese sticking to the Pizza Box!
When 1 is missing from the equation; it's like a 3 Legged Stool. That's right; everything is a little askew! You're Welcome!
Okay, Charlie did show up; but was sent home for a "Hiatus". In LaLa Land; that's "Take 5"....Months"!
So ready or not; here's the new TV Script without any polish or sheen!
JAKE HARPER (Charlie Harper's teenage nephew): "Where's Uncle Charlie"?
ALAN HARPER (Charlie Harper's brother): "He has Amnesia"! (loudly) "Isn't that right, Charlie"?
CHARLIE HARPER: ("Stand-In" grunting from Charlie's Room) "Ugh".
JAKE: "So if you have Amnesia; you stay in your room"?
ALAN: "Yes, if you find your way back home, right Charlie"?
CHARLIE: "Ugh".
JAKE: "How long will he be in his room"?
ALAN: "Till he runs out of Hand Lotion"!
JAKE: (Confused) "Does he know his name"?
ALAN: "No, but he mumbles a lot of Hooker Names"!
JAKE: "Maybe when he runs out of them - he'll be his old self"?
ALAN: "No, then he'll mumble a lot of Porno Names"!
JAKE: "I saw Porno once"!
ALAN: "Damn, did Charlie unlock the computer for you"?
JAKE: "He's a good Uncle; he only showed me one Boob"!
ALAN STARTS TO WALK TOWARD THE STAIRS.
JAKE: "Where you going"?
ALAN: "I'm a Chiropractor & I'm going to make "An Adjustment"!
JAKE: "Why are you taking a Baseball Bat & a Crowbar"?
ALAN: "Well, it's Strike 2, Ball 2 & I have to remove "A Cup"!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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