Part 1 of 2
After White House jawboning & stimulus money ideas; on February 28, 2011, Obama assembled an A-List Team of Advisors on Jobs & Competiveness - including GE, Xerox, American Express, Citigroup, Intel, Facebook & Comcast; to name a few.
Why does Obama need all of them; when he should just ask me!
For what its worth; here's my Proposal for "Job Creation" on any or all Airlines for real pay!
I'm not talkin' a fly by night deal - I mean a real job with Layovers in Barstow, Moosejaw & Cleveland!
And a Uniform that would make your Marching Band proud!
Please don't laugh; I spent minutes on this thing!
* ASSIST NURSING BABIES WITH BREAST SEARCH & ALIGNMENT!
* SELL CONDOMS OUTSIDE LAVATORY FOR MILE HIGH CLUB!
* PUSH BUTTON TO BRING ALL SEATS & TRAY TABLES TO AN UP-RIGHT POSITION!
* WRITE-UP INSURANCE CLAIMS!
* PROVIDE "A 5 MINUTE CHAT" with cross-legged passengers in line while waiting for the John!
* NEGOTIATE "AISLE SEAT TRADES" - Sorry, only persons with Diplomatic License Plates, EMT's or Divorce Lawyers qualify!
* SYNCHRONIZE "IN-SEAT" AEROBICS - Ankle Circles, Foot Pumps, Knee Lifts - if the plane starts to Nose-dive: STOP!
* OPEN PEANUT BAGS FOR PASSENGERS - guaranteed success - or will upgrade to Pretzel Bag that you can't open either!
* And finally....EXIT ROW SEAT OCCUPIER - Be able to push open a 50 pound door, have proof of clean underwear & scream "De Plane, De Plane"!
Oh...and don't forget to turn off your cell phone!
Full disclosure of this coveted position laid bare in my next Blog also posted 4/6/11:
"PREMATURE EVACUATION: EXIT SEAT Employment"!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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