I don't know about your Teenage Years; but to soothe this emotionally charged time in my life; my Mom would be full of worn-out cliches! Well, as helpful & profound as she tried to be; none of it turned out to be True!
Who knows; maybe things would have been different if there was a Dr. Phil, an Oprah or a Dr. Drew! But I'll never forget her pearls of wisdom - starting with her consoling me when my boyfriend went away to Camp:
"DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER"!
"NOT TRUE! Turns out he shared a bunk with Louise"!
"LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE"!
What do you know....Louise was a Skank in the 2nd Grade"!
"IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING; SET IT FREE"!
"He has my School Ring"!
"IT'S A BLESSING IN DISGUISE"!
"Where am I gonna get another ring"?
"WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS"!
"Well, you can talk - you're on your 6th Husband"!
"FALL 7 TIMES, STAND UP 8"!
"Oh no, Ma - not a new Santa Clause"!
"IT'S NOT THE HORSE THAT DRAWS THE CART, BUT THE OATS"!
"Now you lost me"!
"THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS"!
"Hey, you're a little ahead of yourself...that was "Woody Allen in heat"!
"DON'T PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET"!
"You'll be a Grandma - I promise you"!
"HEALTH IS WEALTH"!
"So that's why I can't get a new Hi-Fi"?
"CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME"!
"You want a Hi-Fi too"?
"I WOULDN'T TOUCH IT WITH A 10 Foot POLE"!
"Please - not your Wedding Nights again"!
"ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD"!
You're nuts Mom..."Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet"!
I guess..."THE APPLE NEVER FALLS FAR FROM THE TREE"!
"NOT TRUE! I have Freckles"!
And finally - we can all remember when we had that "Spinach Talk", you know...
"IT'LL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST"!
"Well folks - this time MOM was right"!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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