"MAPQUESTING "Open Salon Avenue" FROM YOUR LIVING ROOM"!
Make A LEFT at "The Website is encountering problems", and take that Old Scotch you've saved for Mortgage Burning, Osama Catching & now "The Blogging Bog of 2011" & pour 2 for you & one for the Mrs!
PASS 2 RED LIGHTS until you come to "The Domain Name Server is not available"... so pick something snappy like - "WTF.com"!
Make A SHARP LEFT at "There might be a typing era in the addre$$"!
Make a Slight Right into "You must not be connected to the Internet" - I am so...and I'm not broke either - I still have Checks in my Checkbook!
Make 2 RIGHTS & then 3 LEFTS onto "Cannot display the webpage"...Why not? Did Anthony Weiner's other Twitter Followers freeze up the airwaves & demand a peek?
Go past 4 STOP Signs & 1 YIELD Sign - as you get to "The Cover Page" - and once again get a taste of False Hope!
Oh well, foiled again! Can't afford a GPS? Me either!
IF YOU JUST PASSED "Huffington Post Boulevard" you went too far - try again at Midnight L.A. Time"!
BACK UP & GO AROUND the nasty Dumpster - as you approach "The website is trying to fix the problem"! Well, that's a relief; I have a "Neo-Luddite Anonymous" Meeting tonight!
"Wait a minute; my Mouse fell on the floor & there's a knock at my door"!
Oh, I'M ON!!
Well, thanks go to THE MAN UPSTAIRS...that's "Ralph" in Apartment #402!
Don't laugh - the site's so slow...I wrote this in 1945!
To all salon.com powers-that-be: To quote "Willy Loman" - "Attention must be paid"!
Please!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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