CAMPAIGN TRAIL MIX ... and who's that loon Newt waving at...Tiffany's? "The Check's in the Mail"!
After watching the Republican "Hail & Farewell" spectacle last week - it's as clear as the laugh lines on Ron Paul's face...this lineup of All-Stars was Charisma Challenged! Even Dick Chaney said "If this is the Cream of the Crop - then I'll take mine Black"!
I've got a gut feeling - these guys not only can't get elected - they can't get arrested! Heaven help us; they're too good for High Office & not bad enough for a Chain Gang!
Maybe if I could ask to see them all in Profile; I could better pick one out of the crowd. "That's him on the right"! "No, he was wearing a Ski Mask"! "That's her; the one with the beard"!
Yet someone was definitely missing; wasn't there? Remember Sarah Palin said, "I'll run if they need me"! They have to enlist her - then they'll look "Presidential"! And besides; I have to prove my kid wrong; Alaska is not a Russian Suburb!
These little Shindigs should be promoted as "Sleep Aids"! That would put money back into the Government coffers. And "Coughers" too! Yeah, get a few to pull out a Smith Bros. Cough Drop & you've got another advertisement - you save money right there!
These epic Crusades run way too long! In just about the length of time it takes to produce a Baby Hippo - the U.S. brings forth a President.
Like other countries; we should vote to shorten the Campaign Season on our next ballot - because now we have the attention span of a Gnat!! And why not; we want everything to work fast - our Internet, our Coffee Maker & our Porn Sites! Or maybe it's just me!
Even Statesman Adlai Stephenson said, "You grow weary, frustrated & bored. Any man who has listened to himself several times daily in February; is not likely to inspire his Countrymen in October"!
But before the War Horses & Wannabe's trot out for the infamous Chicken Dinners; I suggest that both Parties toss their Jackets & Ties & have a Field Day: Brown Bagging @ Minimum Wage - and no Talking Shop allowed!
Build a house together; and see what cooperation really means: You don't hide the Nails from the Carpenter, Spike the Spackle or Short-sheet the Drywall - and most important you don't hide the Key to the Jiffy John!
When the Campaigning is over - it always amazes me that they can look each other in the eye after all the Back-stabbing, Back-slapping & ingenuous High Fiving - and barely have the strength to Post a Photo of themselves on Twitter!