August 30, 2010 Repost. Celebrating his 8th Season this week of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on HBO.
Larry David; you gotta love him. That's right...the Grinch stole my heart! Now that I'm single; I find myself attracted to his Comedy Swagger & Swag...and he's rich too!
Sure, he's a handful but I can change him. I just have to remember not to ask him "Is your Glass half empty or half full"? I just know he would ask romantically "Bottled or Tap"?
It's going to be an uphill battle: I sleep in the Nude; he has Restless Leg Syndrome!
I think kids are a joy; he likes "Children En Brochette"!
I say there's always a Silver Lining;
he says "If Life gives you Lemons...make Fish"!
And I just know; before he puts me on a Pedestal - he'll want to know if I have Insurance!
Blue Monday thru Sunday? Piece of Cake; I'll spar with him anytime. But first he has to read this Blog!
That is where you readers come in. You see, it's hard to get through to him; "His People" & "My People" are busy tweeting other people!
I actually went to his Office & tried to get a Foot in the Door, but you know "The Hollywood Gatekeepers"; all they said was "Try another Body Part"!
So if any of you see him; tell him I said he's Sponge-worthy! I know he never hears that enough!
I can just visualize our First Date...He says "Let's go to The Hollywood Bowl". You guessed it - he wants to stretch-out his Achilles heel on LANE 6!
He said "There's too much noise with the Symphony & all those Corks popping from The Picnicker's. "Yeah", I said, "That's a lot of Cacophony"!
You know; as down he is about little nothings; he's not depressed...but he's a Carrier!
Insensitive; yes. Neurotic; yes. Offensive; yes. Cranky; yes. Puckish; yes - I like that in a man!
There's no doubt about it; Larry David is cynical. But not as anal as those in history before him. In 5th Century Ancient Greece, there were 2 Groups of Philosophers:
"The Cynics"...."Toilet Paper on a roll? Pfft"!
And "The Antihistimines"....If they could breathe - it was a good day! (it's true - look it up in "the Google")
And in more recent centuries we find there is profound wisdom in the study of "Cantankery":
"Nietzsche" said, "I believe that the Ancient Greeks created tragedy as a result of pessimism". (I know - keep reading)
"Whereas "Schopenhauer" (Artie) said "If reality is the blind will to live, and the world is the objectivity of such a blind will; life is painful misery" (it won't be long now)
And then there's "Larry David" ..."I won't pay for your Anchovies - I said "1/2 Sausage"...there's a definite line there"!
Oh, don't forget that favor I asked of you - I can't wait for him to treat me to "A Cobb Salad"!
"Okay Larry; we'll go Dutch! The Tip? Depends on how the evening goes - we'll see if you get Lucky"!
Oh, the Finder's Fee? That depends on what kind of condition you find him in!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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