Political & Religious Satyr
MARILYN SANDS:
"So what's it like being Bill Maher's Brother"?
BOB MAHER:
"It's great - he lets me mop his "STAR" on Hollywood Boulevard"!
MS: "Besides that - does he ever embarrass you"?
BOB: "Oh yeah - when I saw him for the 1st time on TV in the 80's; he said:
"I was raised 1/2 Jewish & 1/2 Catholic. When I go to Confession, I'd say "Bless me, Father I have sinned - and you know my Attorney, Mr. Cohen"!
BOB: "I even wrote a book, "He's not Blasphemous...he's my Brother"!
BOB: "I don't believe everything he says. In interviews he says he didn't know our mother was Jewish until he was a Teenager - even though he enjoyed Matzo Ball Soup every Friday Night"!
BOB: "But I just loved watching Bill explain his Circumcised Member to his Gym Shower pals: "I'm one in a Million - I think it skips a generation - even my Father doesn't have it"!
BOB: "I noticed as a child, he was already screwed up when he asked "The 4 Questions" at Easter:
"Why are the Eggs so dry"?
"Did Jesus really like Jelly Beans"?
"Why does Dad hide the Playboy Bunny"?
And "Could you pass the Pork & Pickled Herring"?
BOB: "He's always more than ready to share his views on Organized Religion & wrote & starred in the Movie , "Religulous" - don't even bother to Spell Check - Bill just likes to tweak "The Pious"! He says:
"I think that religion stops people from thinking; it justifies Crazies"!
"In fact; I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder"!
BOB: "Mom & I have a Daily Wager: "Was he on Pot when he said that"?
BOB: "Me...I believe no one should Proselytize about their religion or non-religion. You know where that Road leads...that's right - "Sodom & Gomorrah" - one of Bill's favorite Go-To Weekend Getaways"!
BOB: "And Bill says,
"Jesus wasn't a Republican"!
I say, Yes - who else would have Place Cards at "The Last Supper"?
BOB: "No - he's not afraid to tackle the touchy subjects whether it's "2-Watt Palin", "Wiggling Weiner" or "Sheep-Love-Newt" - okay not true...but it sure is "a visual"!
BOB: "Yeah, Bill goes where the action is - I saw photos of him at the Playboy Mansion with untidy women draped on him & underneath it, he said:
"The Food is out of this World"!
BOB: "And everyone knows he has definite opinions on Monogamy & Sex:
"Men are only loyal as their options"!
And, "Men - we don't like Mystery. Women like Mystery 'cause it's not a mystery to you! You know when you're gonna get laid"!
BOB: "Of course, we all know his views on being childless:
"Kids - they're not easy; but there has to be some Penalty for Sex"!
BOB: "Well, I didn't disappoint our Folks; I have six of each & one we're not sure of"!
BOB: "Politically astute"? "Political Savant"? I wouldn't know - he used to give me a Wedgie!
"I kid, I kid with love...I kid the Big Brother"!
BOB: "I gotta go - there's "Double Bubble" on his "STAR"! Oh yeah...what everyone wants to know:
Yes!..."Applause for Bowel Movements"!
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V.Corso
OS Weekend Fiction Club
Thoth
Blinddream
Procopius
Rob St. Amant
Salon.com
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