Oh, that's not me; but I'm sure she's dead now! Of course, she could've died right after this Beauty Treatment in the 50's!
Or she could've killed her Mother when she got home. And they said I can't write Fiction!
Don't laugh. At 12 years old; I had this same Contraption on my head & that's why I write like this! Oh, there's always a reason; look at Cranky Cuss for example! No tellin' what his story is!
You see, you had to go to a Beauty Salon to have this done; this isn't a Home Frankenstein Kit that you whip out!
Yeah, paid good money! You can't hate this long; can you? I have a Photo of me after this experiment. Even OS rejected it!
Just picture it; okay? Not just the Hair; but the angry Face!
Hermit? I was harder to find than The Unibomber!
When I was older; my Mother sent me to a Shrink - she thought I was too introverted.
"I'm not introverted Moth--er...I'm pissed my Hair breaks off like a Kit-Kat Bar"!
At least my Mother Walked the Talk & always said, "You have to Suffer for Beauty" as she plucked, tweezed & waxed until she could draw on "Bette Davis Eyes"!
This isn't a face of a happy Actress; Bette's Mother also did it to her!
No this isn't the first time my Mother thrust her beloved Beauty Secrets on me!
She made me use "Pond's Vanishing Cream" & one day I didn't show up for Dinner! Luckily it was "Liver & Onions Night" - but that's just a coinkidink!
She gave me Dating & Marriage Advice too!
"WHEN YOU'RE WITH A MAN - ACT DUMB"!
"DON'T WEAR THOSE "CANDY LIPS" ON A DATE"!
"Practice this every day - SO AT THE A&P; YOU CAN REACH THOSE CANS"!
"CRY A LOT"!
"ALWAYS ACT HAPPY WHEN YOU GET A GIFT"!
MOM BOUGHT ME THIS "BULLET BRA" - Now where was I gonna wear THAT - An NRA Rally?

As For "PREPARATION H" For Puffiness Around The Eyes -- YOU DECIDE!
Okay - The Hair Contraption is the only one that's true!


Salon.com
Comments
God bless mom. Since I was forever falling and tearing the knees out of my pants, my mom got these iron on re-enforcers which was like having wall panelling in you pants. That's why I run like Tin Man even today. R