Wake up people - it's not about Money in Switzerland or Tax Return Loop Holes - on his 1040's - he's been claiming 20 Dependants!
Of the Female persuasion!
That's right 20 Sister Wives - some he hasn't even *Shtupped yet!
He obviously believed in Bring 'em Young! I'm sorry!
It's simple - Mitt hates Stripes & didn't want to end up like these Polygamists in 1889 at the Utah Penitentiary!
This is not a Ralph Lauren Ad - the last thing these Lathario's need is a Dating Site!
You see, Mitt fears wearing Horizontal Stripes even more than IRS Agents!
Those 5 strapping boys of his? Ha ha That's just for Show!
In reality; it's worse than Yul Brenner in "The King & I"! This is how Mitt calls them all to dinner!
And that Olympic Horse of #1 wife, Ann - with its Dressage & Boarding expenses - that's nothing compared to all the other Wives... they each have CATS!
And when it's Feeding Time - the place sounds like... well, let's just say Mitt has to wear these!
And Ann says he's never home! It must be hard to juggle 21 Wives!
"There's Rachel, Rebekah, Hannah, Sarah, Esther..."
"Give me an Initial...."
"Annie, I'm gonna be late for Dinner"!
"HONEY'S I'm Home!
"One at a time, Girls"!
"Darn right, some of them are even Virgins!
So when November rolls around - will we have finally seen Mitt's last 5 years of Tax Returns?
Could be! I saw him coming out of The Dollar Store with a Quart of "Wite-Out"!
Of course, I heard we're payin' for it...he has Receipts!
* Shtupp: To either push food on someone or to have Sex. Personally, I never knew the difference!