A few years ago when my late husband & I took our Annual Birthday Visit to my 104 year old Aunt in Tucson; we found that she made Reservations & bought 2 Tickets for us to take a Tour of Kartchner Caverns in Arizona.
Little did she know I had a handful of Phobias & cringed when she announced her good news. What ticked me off was - it never occurred to me to say we went & catch a Movie at the Bijou instead!
So we drove into the Desert & found the Caverns. This place was the real deal! And The Tours had lots of Rules & Warnings:
NO Purses, Backbacks, Fanny Packs, Water, Food, Phones, Cameras, Walkers or Crutches!
And NO Littering or Tossing Coins!
Are you kidding - that didn't stop me; I threw a Quarter in & wished for an Exit!
But I was pleased to find out they didn't schedule The Bats to arrive when we did! We came in December; and just like our "Bates Motel Tour" - not one Bellhop was available!
It worked out because in the Summer, the Caverns are closed as it's a Maternity Roost for 2000 Female Bats. They arrive in April, give birth in June & leave by mid September.
The thought of it was so creepy; if I knew about it earlier; I would've come to my Aunt in Crutches!
But Bats were the least of my concern! Because of the lack of Polluted Air I'm used to; I became disoriented & slightly belligerent & I couldn't take my eyes off Chad - the Shiny Tour Guide who was Tall, Dark & Moist...
Oops, wrong Photo!
This was more like it!
"INSIDE, IT'S 99% HUMIDITY, DIMLY LIT & SOME PASSAGES MAY PASS THROUGH NARROW OR ENCLOSED AREAS"!
"You're darn right it was humid; my Glasses became Fogged & I don't wear any"!
"THIS MAY BE DIFFICULT FOR PERSONS WITH MOBILITY, RESPIRATORY OR...
"Here it comes folks...
"IT'S 1/2 MILE LONG & TAKES 1 HOUR & 45 MINUTES - 1 HOUR WHICH IS UNDERGROUND".
"That's it - you said the U Word!
"OVER 200,OOO YEARS AGO A WIDE VARIETY OF DECORATIONS BEGAN FORMING DROP BY DROP".
"Will ya shut up & move the Line along"!
"IN NOVEMBER 1974, TWO YOUNG CAVERS, GARY TENEN & RANDY TUFTES"...
"Did your Mother ever tell you you're Long Winded - I'm dyin' here"!
"...FOUND A NARROW CRACK IN THE BOTTOM OF A SINKHOLE LEADING INTO THE HILLSIDE".
"Yadda, Yadda, Yadda"!
"WARM, MOIST AIR FLOWED OUT SIGNALING THE EXISTENCE OF A CAVE".
"Duh - I could've told you that"!
"AFTER SEVERAL HOURS OF CRAWLING, THEY ENTERED A PRISTINE CAVERN".
"Who are you kidding - isn't that a "Snickers" Wrapper"?
"IT WASN'T UNTIL 1978 THAT THEY TOLD THE PROPERTY OWNERS ABOUT THEIR AMAZING DISCOVERY".
"Yeah, after a few Tokes"!
"IN 1988, IT BECAME PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE & BECAME AN ARIZONA STATE PARK"!
"Are you through"?
"NO, BUT YOUR TUBE TOP JUST SPROUTED MUSHROOMS"!
In terms of Phobia Measurements - this Adventure was an 11 to The Salt Mines 10!