YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!

from HOPE to HARPO - my love affair with funny!

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Former Stand-up Comic, Comic Booker, Gag Writer. Currently marketing Madcap Comedy Screenplays, a Stage Play, a Book & selling jokes out of the trunk of my car......"Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha

Marilyn Sands's Links

THE MATING GAME
NO COMEDY ZONE
CHARLIE SHEEN
ANTHONY WEINER
ARNOLD SCHWARTENEGGER
Shh...IT'S PERSONAL!
BATHROOM READING
VISUAL CANDY
PERSONAL FAVS
I LOVE THE MOVIES
VENTS R US
RICK SANTORUM
IN A CLASS ALL IT'S OWN
OS WEEKEND FICTION
THE ELUSIVE EP
JOHN BOEHNER
BO OBAMA
NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
MICHELE BACHMANN
SARAH PALIN
NON-PARTISAN POLITICS ha ha
THINKING OUT OF THE BOX
POLITICS AS USUAL
RECOMMENDED BY ZAGAT
"YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE THINGS UP"! On-Line Dating Straight Lines!
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
RICK PERRY
NEWT GINGRICH
MITT ROMNEY
THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2012
PILLOW TALK - Scripted
"FAVORITE SCENE IN A MOVIE
DON KNOTTS DAUGHTER: "Tied Up In Knotts"
NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SCHOOL SHOOTING, COLORADO ET AL
END OF YEAR SPECIAL
MY FAVORITE LINE in an Article
BEING A STAND-UP COMIC After 40
SEPTEMBER 24, 2012 2:14PM

"LIBERALS LAUGH LAST" Obama @ Open Mic Night!

Rate: 3 Flag

Repost of August 19, 2011 - Something for every Political Party

The White House, Washington, D.C.

open mic 

JOE BIDEN

"Put your hands together for your President & mine - Baroque Obama"!

"I'm sorry Barry - we're all Baroque"! 

"Hey"!

JOE BIDEN GETS "THE HOOK" AS PRESIDENT OBAMA TAKES THE MIKE.

speech4

speech2   

PRESIDENT OBAMA

"Is he gone?  As I said in the Midwest this week - this is not part of my Campaign - I just need to get things off Michelle's chest"!

"I guess you noticed there's no Teleprompter here tonight - I didn't want it to be hit by Tomatoes"!

"Just to let you know - there's nothing Bachmann has said about me that my Michelle hasn't said first"!

"Damn right - I have a thick Black skin"!

"By the way - this Routine has been approved by Republicans"!  ha ha

"In fact - the Comedy Writer that wrote this sleeps with one"! 

"But you already knew that"!

"I guess you can tell by my ho-hum Healthcare Bill, the Stimulas & those pesky Campaign Promises - I wasn't cut out for this"!

"The Osama thing?  That was a fluke"!

"But I must say after that; I wasn't hurtin' in the Bedroom Department"!

"So I guess I won't be carved any time soon for Mt. Rushmore"!

"But just in case - I favor my left side & a little darker than George please"!

"But I'm coming into my own here - I just found "The "President's Personal John".  But just like at a Gas Station - I have to get the Key from the Speaker of the House"!

"How degrading!  Sometimes I think he's The President"!

"But I don't want to break it to him - he cries, you know"!

"My problem is - every Initative I face runs it's course in Cycles; but nobody wants to wait it out!  Don't they know that when RuPaul gets in; they'll have the same thing"!

"Oh, it's Ron Paul - I always get them confused"!

"A little somethin' for the Gay Crowd"?  ha ha

"Where's the frigin' Writer?  She'll never work in this town again"!

"Michelle says I keep everything too Close to my Vest & wonders why I don't just tell the people about the Cycles.  I told her; I'm saving it for "The Bachmann/Obama Debates"!

"The thing is; Michelle just doesn't want to relocate - you know Women - Changing Schools, Flying Coach, BO already marked his Territory in the Garden"!

"Pfft!  Well, so did I - but I'm ready to move on"!  

"If you're waiting for a Big Finish - come back October 31st - I dress up like Reagan"!

mask1  

"Just kidding - it's just a Republican Wet Dream"!

"You've been a great audience!  

"Oh, and don't worry - the Election is a Year & 1/2 away - but it will feel even longer"!  

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Comments

Type your comment below:
"I just flew in from the coast ... and boy, am I sorry Reagan fired the air-traffic controllers."

True story: I wore that Reagan mask for Halloween one year during his Administration. I wore it into a local bar. Guy who had clearly had too many Miller Lites walked up to me, got inches from my face and, with spittle forming in his mouth, yelled, "You suck!" After that, no more political masks on Halloween!
Marilyn...you are too funny. I like Cranky's story.

Personally, I hide on Halloween. Little kids in costumes freak me out.
No, really it is about the candy...actually. I leave them candy and go to the basement. Or out to dinner.
Thanks Crank! I believe your story in the Bar - but I think in these "Hothead Days" - ANY Mask worn IN or OUT of a Bar - will bring more than spittle!
Thanks Annie! I guess the only thing to counteract The Candy Mafia is wear a SCARIER Costume than theirs! You end up with more Snickers for yourself!
Ande ... I do the same as you. Once my kids were old enough to stop trick-or-treating, we made it a habit to go out to dinner and/or a movie on Halloween. Result: peace and quiet, and no leftover candy to ruin our waistlines.