YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!

from HOPE to HARPO - my love affair with funny!

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor! "Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know!

Marilyn Sands's Links

They went...Vir..I mean...BACTERIAL! ha ha
TOP TEN THINGS...
MARILYN monroe, Inc.
STONE AGE vs TODAY
2016 1st WOMAN PRESIDENT!
"PET RUN With HAPPY HOUR"!
OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!
"HOLIDAYS"....THANKSGIVING
CHRISTMAS
VALENTINE'S DAY
ST. PATRICK'S DAY
BOOK REVIEWS
EP or BUST! ha ha
NOSTALGIA
OPEN SALON Uncensored
OLDIE BUT GOODIE
Ima FLY ON THE WALL
HUMP DAY...Office Shananigans
...HAPPILY EVER AFTER
IN FICTION...THERE'S ALWAYS NEW BEGINNINGS!
MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC!
BEING A STAND-UP COMIC After 40
MY FAVORITE LINE in an Article
END OF YEAR SPECIAL
DON KNOTTS DAUGHTER: "Tied Up In Knotts"
NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SCHOOL SHOOTING, COLORADO ET AL
"FAVORITE SCENE IN A MOVIE
PILLOW TALK - Scripted
THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2012
THE MATING GAME
NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
BO OBAMA
OS WEEKEND FICTION
THE ELUSIVE EP
JOHN BOEHNER
MITT ROMNEY
NEWT GINGRICH
RICK PERRY
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE THINGS UP - On Line DATING STRAIGHT LINES Copyright 2012
RECOMMENDED BY ZAGAT
POLITICS AS USUAL
THINKING OUT OF THE BOX
NON-PARTISAN POLITICS ha ha
SARAH PALIN
MICHELE BACHMANN
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
IN A CLASS ALL IT'S OWN
RICK SANTORUM
VENTS R US
I LOVE THE MOVIES
PERSONAL FAVS
VISUAL CANDY
BATHROOM READING
Shh...IT'S PERSONAL!
ARNOLD SCHWARTENEGGER
ANTHONY WEINER
CHARLIE SHEEN
NO COMEDY ZONE
NOVEMBER 12, 2012 12:11PM

TO MY PUTZFRAU: Don't Clean The Cuckoo Clock I Need The Eggs

Rate: 4 Flag

Not a funny article this time - but I just like the Title!  The real Title is:

"MY GERMAN PUTZFRAU"...Coming Clean in Deutschland!

For a year out of the 3 my family & I were living in Germany on a Military Base in the 70's; every other week we had a German Putzfrau to clean our Apartment.

It was not lost on me that during a cold December day; she was dusting around our lit Chanukah Menorah - 30 short years after her Country was home to the worst Jewish atrocities.

But what was most ironic about the experience; was that I was required to cook her a full-on Hot Dinner for Lunch.

In Germany, the big meal of the day was lunch & after toiling for half of a a cold winter's day in someone else' debris - who wouldn't need a bountiful break?   

I couldn't tell you exactly what I whipped up; but that it was hearty!

It's been so long; I've forgotten whether I sat at my Dining Room Table across from her - not speaking a word; but do recall being delighted as each morsel was devoured giving comfort. 

I don't even remember if I joined her eating my Tuna Fish Sandwich; saving the remains of that Hot Meal for my family's dinner.

When I got a "Danke Schoen" from her it was clearly a Feather in my Alpine Hat; and was pleased that I lived up to the Gastronomical Test of a German's taste buds.

At the end of the day, I paid her in Deutsch Marks & thanked her with smiles; luxuriating in the smell of a clean house.

Germans were noted for a scrupulous home & environs & thankfully the job didn't seem like it was demeaning to her.  We (meaning Americans) were in her Country & you can never be sure how she or they thought about that. 

Don't get me wrong; I had interaction with German people on Base & off - but none so personal as in my house.  I understood German more than I could speak it & got all my needs met - whether it looked like a bad game of Charades or in desperation; laughter - especially if I had to go to the Bathroom!

In order to be approved for this major move to West Germany from the States; all Husbands & Wives had to pass both Physical & Psychiatric Tests with doctors & luckily I knew how to cheat on both!  ha ha

Since living abroad & traveling to other countries, I found I've been more tolerant of other Nationalities, Races & Faiths; opening my eyes to things important & not important & saving the side trip to Dachau Concentration Camp for the very end & acknowledging - without children was the right decision.  

Besides becoming a Mother, I think the one thing that has affected me the most in my life so far - was living in Germany & coming back to America a Woman of the World - making some sense of the German/Jewish Connection & why it was taken away - and at peace; that I put it to rest!

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
You made me smile because I can grasp exactly what you mean with this ever so clean and proper Putzfrau.That one you had come to your house had the nerve to ask for a full meal???
Germans are generally clean,yes.I consider the Danes,the Dutch and hear,hear,the Italians to be much more meticulous.If you live in Italy,and the Teachers find your children to be dirty,the Dept of Health and Welfare is informed,and THAN you are in real trouble.
I am glad you have had the amusing,bold experiences here.
Did you ever get to speak with Germans about the Holocaust?
Rated
I forgot the Hausfrauen from Switzreland.There,too,you can eat from the floor.
There's a line from something that Arron Sorkin wrote: We went to a standup show at a comedy club and the Germans all laughed their asses off. After the show we went backstage and the Germans asked one of the performers why there were no good comedians in Germany. The standup didn't blink and eye and replied, "You killed them all."

I don't know how long it will be before we all come out on the other side of this, but I hope we can hang on to "Never forget, never again."
You had me at the title. I recognized the line from the Woodman immediately. What a bittersweet story. Now you have me running to my Leo Rosten to find out why this woman's position was called "Putzfrau." I would have guessed it had a different meaning, but let's not go there. Visions of adult novelties.
Thanks so much Heidi & Guten Tag! So glad you enjoyed my article. It's interesting what you wrote about Italy Schools.
As for your question about speaking with Germans about the Holocaust.
Someone would only ask that if they wanted to give guilt. The questioner would be argumentative, combative & antagonistic & I am none of those - nor should anyone else with this subject.
There is nothing more we can discover or uncover that hasn't already been said, read or written.
I was & still am a quiet, private person (even though I occasionally lapse on OS) & my husband worked in a sensitive position and there was Protocol on what you did or should say in that or any other country to be diplomatic. Besides, I don't wear my Religion on my sleeve in this or any other country & don't plan to. Saying what my religion is here - is REALLY a big deal for me - so I hope you understand - I just want to entertain with my writing.
Oh, Heidi...about Cooking her a Hot Meal for Lunch. It was done with all the Putzfrau's on the Military Base. So it wasn't an exception.
Thanks jmac! I'm so glad I never heard that joke before. But there's always someone to laugh at dark humor. Yes, "Never Again" is in all our prayers.
Thanks Dan! Yes, you know your Woody Allen. For other's out there - I love this Joke of his:
A guy walks into a Psychiatrist's office & says,
"Hey, Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a Chicken.
Then the Doc says,
"Why don't you turn him in"?
Then the guy says,
"I would, but I need the eggs"!
Marilyn,thank you so much for your open reply.I realize that in the 70s there was hardly anyone speaking about WWII.It still was too much of a nightmare.(for anyone involved) Only for the last 20 years people are able to honestly reflect and speak about it.
I have friends who are British and live in Germany for decades.Their children grew up here.I enjoyed your text so much because I was able to see it through the eyes of those people.
You said that your husband/you have been under protocol.Does this mean you were under oath?(while in Germany)