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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
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los angeles, California,
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July 03
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Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor! "Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know!

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DECEMBER 11, 2012 8:14PM

"BRIDE BLOWS OFF HEF, NO HARD FEELINGS"! OS Redux

Rate: 1 Flag

hef-crystal335 

A year & a half ago beautiful Crystal Harris, fiancè of Playboy's Hugh Hefner called off their wedding.

She said she had "Cold Feet" & Morning Sickness - no, not Pregnant...just happened when she woke up at the Mansion next to the Polident!

But now with a change of heart; this New Year's Eve they'll  be wed & I hear Hugh couldn't be happier... he's replaced Boobs for Bibs! 

June 13, 2011 Repost:

He's 85; she's 25.  You I'll do the Math.

85 goes into 25 - 3 times...Tops!

Well, at least Hugh is taking the news with humor.  This morning he said, "I wouldn't say she didn't like to look at my Old Privates - but she sewed my Robe shut!

But don't feel sorry for him; since the breakup; I heard he's been busy Sowing his Wild Oat!

He says, "There's more Fish in the Sea - tomorrow it's Brunettes, Friday, it's Redheads - but hey - what do I care, I'm Blindfolded"!

"What am I talkin' about - nowadays they're the ones Blindfolded"!

Too bad the Marriage is off - they had planned to video their Wedding Night for AARP - titled "Believe It Or Not"!

You know; I don't care how they were gonna promote that Flick - even Dogs in Heat would turn away!

But Hef loves it when Men tell him "You have lived the life men can only dream of".

"And everyone wants to know how I get so many women into Bed"?

"Well, women really like...

nah, I'm saving it for my Headstone"!

 

 

 

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Comments

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If Hef can Get It Up - I can certainly Post an article from a frigin' Life Boat! ha ha
Hey, I got on! OS isn't dead, neither is Hef. I wanna take what he is taking. R
I loved the headline, Marilyn. Clevah!

Hef: In a class by himself, I imagine. Access to all that pulchritude.....as the batteries wear down to not even producing the dimmest light.

I'm glad OS decided to resurrect the site.

So far, so good.
Thanks Jer! Hef has already promised to gift his Organ to Science - and I heard when they're finished... they're gonna use it as a Door Stop! ha ha
Thanks so much Flylooper! Men must be cheering Hef on...Women are thinking "If there's a Will - there's a way"!