YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!

from HOPE to HARPO - my love affair with funny!

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor! "Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know! ha ha

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NO COMEDY ZONE
FEBRUARY 11, 2013 4:07PM

"THE LURE OF THE KRISPY KREME"...Hitting Bottom - MINE!

Rate: 6 Flag

250px-Krispy_Kreme_logo_svg 

I'm Marilyn & I'm a K.K.aholic!

It not only calls my name - it knows my Passwords!

sophia4     

Sophia Loren is famous for saying:

"Everything you see I owe to Spaghetti"!

And Mine is:

"Make that a Dozen"!

In 1937, Vernon Rudolf founded this mood altering substance in Winston-Salem, North Carolina & ever since it's been a Secret Recipe!  Why?

Flour, Sugar, Crack - that's why!

I heard he & Colonel Sanders roomed together!  Or is it Colonel Parker & Colonel Mustard...I can't keep up anymore!  

doughnuts1 

I can't tell you the Games I've played trying not to get some!  But I will!  ha ha

Sometimes, I put a Krispy Kreme in my Grocery Cart & just walk around with it.  By the time I get to Checkout; if I haven't eaten it yet - I put it back.

Of course, the Glaze is gone; but the point is - I'm returning it!

And sometimes, I just slowly walk around the Krispy Kreme Table & then go in the other direction - like a circling Lion deciding which Leg to tear off first!

When other Shoppers join me; it looks like a Flash Conga Line or "Musical Chairs" - but with frigin' Safeway Music!

conga2 

I've even walked backwards around the Table; but that's when the Manager gets on his Cell to "The Home"!

boats 

But I do exercise.  During my vigorous 5 Mile Walks around the Marina here - I usually check out the Boat Names:

"Fried Dough", "Maple Glazed" & "Jelly Infused" - but then I Blink & see they were really:

"Eat, Drink & Re-Marry", "Ich Bin Ein Bayliner" & "Cirrhosis of the River"!

boat chirossis 

Want more? "Marlin Monroe", "Campbell's Sloop"..."The Cod Father"... 

codfather 

...and yes, "Titan Uranus"!

titanuranus 

Bringing forth a bead of sweat from all that exercising; I usually feel I deserve something & if it's the Dangerous Time of day; I just know if I walk back home in a certain direction - I hit Nirvana!

The dangerous time of day for me is 4 to 5 pm.  An Apple is out of the question!   I don't want Clean breath - I want Donut Breath!

I want to know that I've been naughty & need to be punished with 2 doughnuts tomorrow!

I've been trying to get rid of the same 10 Pounds since 1968!  All I can figure out is - either my Scale's broken or Angelina Jolie's Diet in her Book had a misprint on Page 236! 

scale2 

The only known cure for this addiction is to scoff down Bill Nicholson's (via Paula Deen) "Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding"...

4-bill-nicholsons-krispy-kreme-bread-pudding 

The Recipe calls for 2 Dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts & comes to 8,160 Calories - and that's not counting the Butter Rum Sauce! 

Personally, I'd rather go Cold Turkey - but first I want one last walk around the Marina....what could go wrong?

   

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Comments

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My favorite Sophia shot ever. I haven't gotten past the picture yet, but when I do I will read your as usual very funny post. Might take awhile. I'm putting my wife on a spaghetti diet tomorrow! R
Mine is Haagen-Dazs. Again, very funny, Marilyn. R
If you're still looking Jer - they AIRBRUSHED it! ha ha
Thanks Thoth! Any Flavor, right? Who's your "Dealer"? ha ha
Let go and let lard! R
How do you come up with this stuff??? I don't even LIKE doughnuts and you've got me craving one! Cirrhosis of the River...The Codfather...Titan Uranus - this post is a better deal than a baker's dozen.

But the Krispy Kreme bread pudding makes me want to barf.
Funny Trudge! Lard indeed! But wonderful!
Thanks Margaret! Yep, better than Sex...well, Sex as I know it! ha ha
[r] Oh Marilyn, I love excruciating puns ALMOST as much as I love Krispy Kremes -- glazed!!!! There is one KK counter in Penn Station. did I used to leave the City for that ulterior motive? When KK came to cities and towns weren't there incredible lines? New York City got its first 7/11 not long ago iirc and the novelty lasted a bit. A BIG DEAL believe it or not!!!

Cirrhosis of the River!! I am glad you imported pix cuz or we would have thought you were making it all up. As for the bread pudding, it's too great a sweet feast for these sore eyes. TOO MUCH!!!!

Just give me the dirty dozen and I'll be on my sweet way!!! best, libby
Thanks Libby - let's go to "The Meetings" together...and on the way home - well, that's between you & me! ha ha "They" say, eat them when they are right "off the Line" - and they even have a Sign that lights up when the Doughnuts are "Hot"!
"The Dirty Dozen" (tip of the hat to libby above) would make a funny (but uncommercial) name for a donut shoppe. Next door, a sweets shop called "Just Desserts"?
Thanks Dan! I want one right NOW! Somebody get me a Sponsor or I'll.. I'll...it subsided! Never mind!