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DECEMBER 1, 2008 11:01AM

Inspecting The Home

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One of the next major steps on our pathway to adoption is the Home Inspection. 

I've already mentioned in a previous posting that my mother begged me to "hide all the Satanic stuff in the dining room."  

Now my head is beginning to swim with all the stuff we actually will have to hide.

1)  Sparklers.  Yes, these are illegal in our state, but we've got two boxes of them in our dining room.  I think these will be hidden in the basement.  Also, last year we bought some fireworks over the state lines in order to celebrate New Year in style.  Those too will have to be hidden.  I'm a little worried about shooting any off this year and getting arrested.  China gets pissy about criminal histories.  But they love fireworks.  So, I'm a bit nonplussed.

2) Bathroom Grout.  When I redo my bathroom (in my dream future which has no bearing on reality), I will be using black grout.  Right now, it's supposed to be white.  It is not.  Srubbing Bubbles, my ass.  Those lazy scrubbing bastards can't touch what's living in the tub right now.  Maybe she won't pull the shower curtain aside.

3) Liquor at floor level.  We've never had to hide the booze before.  Most of my cooking booze (kahlua, cointreau)  is on floor level next to where the cats eat.  I'm not hiding our non-existant drinking problem.  But maybe it would look like we've slightly thought about what will happen when there is a toddler around. 

Then I've started wondering if this is like when you're showing a home for sale.  Should I have cookies baking in the kitchen to make the place seem appealing and homey?  Or is that too obvious?  Maybe put bows around the cats' necks.  On the plus side, they'd look very cute.  On the other hand, she'd have to watch them walking backwards writhing in feigned agony for the duration of the visit.

In other news, my grandmother seemed pleased about the baby.  And very pleased about the strong possibility of there being a girl in the family.  In this generation of babies, there have been only boys so far.  Everyone is rooting for a XX.  And it was good timing because the only other cousin of mine without children just announced they are expecting a bundle of joy in May.  It was nice to be able to make our announcement too.  Completely flabbergasted folks because everyone had totally written us off as a hopeless case.


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home, clean, adoption

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