Hi America. This is my first Open Salon post and I thought I’d start off with bang. And as a preface let me say that there’s nothing I dislike more than Canada’s obsession with the difference between our two countries (it’s a one way obsession – like Otis’ love for the neighborhood tabby).

Having said that, let me be frank with you: you’re embarrassing yourself over health care reform.

A few years ago Canada’s persistent navel gazing produced a mini-series on public television that was an American Idol-like contest to proclaim “The Greatest Canadian”. Advocates each week pitched to the public various reasons why so and so deserved the title. You know who won? A prairie Baptist minister and social democratic politician from the 1950’s whose major claim to fame was the formation of the socialized (gasp!) Canadian health care system.

With this in mind, needless to say we as a nation feel pretty strongly about public health care. It’s one of those things we hold up with pride to differentiate ourselves from our neighbours to the south. Which is why, in the last few weeks, the outcry from the Right over Obama’s proposed reforms to your health care system has left us a little confused. And honestly it’s not just us. The British, who have a similar system (with slight differences) to ours, appear to be equally dumbfounded.

I get that you may not want reform (especially if you make more than $250K a year) or just don’t want the Obama version of reform. This may because you genuinely believe it’s not in your interest (which is a weak reason) or because you just really hate Obama (which is a pathology you should probably get checked out).

OR you may just be ill informed. There are lots of places you can go to get simplified facts about the proposal. Many of them are bi-partisan and impartial and I assure you, Fox News is not one of them.

But if you would like me to clear the air about the dreaded “socialized medicine” that British or Canadian systems would bring you, I can tell you a few things for certain. First, there is no bureaucrat standing between you and your doctor. I have had everything from a CAT scan to a colonoscopy (I’ll post that video soon). I’ve had sports injuries and head injuries (a mild concussion). I’ve seen specialists galore, been diagnosed with a common auto-immune disease (celiac disease) and have even started getting annual physicals. There is no man or woman in a suit deciding whether any of these tests or procedures are necessary. That’s what the doctors are for and they’ll all tell you that they don’t check in with a bureaucrat either. You can thank the Hippocratic Oath for that.

Secondly, please stop pimping this one Canadian woman who went to the Mayo Clinic for treatment instead of her local Hospital. She’s become a bit of a public oddity in this country as one of the few Canadians who would suggest that taking out a mortgage to finance her Mayo trip was a better decision than what may have happened had she listened to her Canadian doctors.

And finally: shit happens. I assure this happens as often in an expensive American hospital as a public Canadian one. This system is far from perfect but when your system sucks so bad why are you so intent on using, as a boogey man, one that works so well?

The reality is it’s more tedious and expensive to get a check-up for Otis. Just one more reason he’s a pain in my ass.