1. Who was your first baseman?

Jack Alexander. He was a naturally gifted athletic fourth grader but not very good in school. I disliked him because he could play sports effortlessly; he probably disliked me because I could read effortlessly.

2. Speaking of sports, what was your first-place finish?

I never finished first in anything in my life, unless you count the affections of certain people. I'm glad there are no actual rankings of that.

3. Who was your first first family?

The Kennedys, and the Vaughn Meader records:

The "First Family" comedy albums were musical sketch comedy, painting an affectionate picture of JFK as a slightly hesitant and earnest man, surrounded by a fashion-plate wife and a demanding staff. The comedy even involved the Secret Service, including a bumbling bodyguard named Agent Schwartz. It was a time when almost all of America was captivated by the glamorous Kennedys; the vicious character assassination that characterizes politics today had not yet become part of the atmosphere.

As a little kid -- I was 4 when JFK took office, and 7 when he was killed -- I knew that the people on the "First Family" album were not really the Kennedys, but since there were no alternative portraits, I chose to believe that the Kennedys themselves were just as likely to kid around with the Secret Service and break into song during news conferences. I think it was at least partly due to these comedy albums that even little kids were devastated when JFK was killed. 

4. First, do no harm.

I wish life were that simple.

5. First Amendment or First Commandment?

That's another one that isn't as easy as it looks. The more you think about it the more closely they seem related. For example, think about the phrase "First Amendment absolutist" --  isn't that a type of idolatry?