On Sunday Sirenita and I went to some Open Studios. In San Francisco there are so many artists participating in the Open Studios event that they divide the city into several weekends. This weekend it was the central-east part of the city -- Potrero Hill, the Mission, Bernal Heights, Noe Valley. We went to a live-work building where there were about 15 open studios so as not to do a lot of extra walking.

In one space we began talking to an artist who had done some fun things with collages and paintings. There was only one I really liked, and before I could say anything Sirenita said she liked it too and wanted to buy it, and it was only $40, so we wound up supporting an artist that day. 

Sirenita got to talking with the artist, a woman in her early or mid thirties, about another piece of artwork that addressed bodily pain. Through this conversation the woman mentioned that she had a background in  nuclear medicine and was actually a PhD in physics. We asked about her work, which actually sounded quite interesting -- something to do with mapping the patterns with which neurons in the brain send their messages. She had gone so far as to do post-doctoral work at UCSF but had decided after a few years that a career in academia wasn't for her. The struggle for funding, the politics, the competition -- she just couldn't take it. Now she was making collages.

We were in her studio, her turf, so I didn't say what I was thinking: You threw out your career in neurological physics for what? How much money was spent on your education, subsidized by taxpayers and no doubt by private foundations and donors? What about the contribution you could have made? 

And those objections to the atmosphere of research and academia -- isn't that something you got a picture of long before you finished your PhD?

And what about the women who blazed the trail for you, women who were the first in the field? Did they go through years of struggle to validate the presence of women in science and research just so you could bail and make collages?

The strange thing about the conversation was that she didn't show any recognition at all that people who are supported by society for years doing post-graduate work have some kind of duty to repay the debt. It was all about her personal comfort -- at least, that's all she talked about. It was sad, and doubly so because -- believe me -- her artwork was kind of crappy.  Maybe she was a lousy physicist too, but I don't think lousy physicists get post-docs at UCSF.

The thing is,  a friend of ours is also a former female physicist. She got her PhD at Stanford and worked at Lawrence Berkeley Lab. She dropped out after a few years too, but in her case it seems a bit more understandable, not only because she's a much better tai chi teacher and gardener than this other woman is an artist, but because by teaching people and caring for their gardens she's making at least some contribution to society. 

And maybe this ex-physicist artist makes some contribution too. I don't really know enough about her to judge her. But the idea that this person gave up her expensively earned degree and career to follow her dream of being a collage artist was not very inspiring. I'm all for people doing what they want in life, but I think people have some responsibility to society too. 

As for me, my degree is a bachelor's in film criticism, and I realized fairly early that film critics don't make much of a contribution to society. Nor do technical writers, which is how I make my money now. I'm pinning my hopes on writing novels. I hope they turn out better than that woman's collages.